


Good to Know

by Anogete



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-03 23:45:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 82,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anogete/pseuds/Anogete
Summary: Darcy didn't realize that Steve Rogers catching her sneaking a cigarette outside would result in them faking a relationship for the sake of his reputation, but she's definitely not complaining.  As the days pass and feelings deepen, faking it becomes more difficult.  But is Steve actually faking?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! A few weeks ago, those delicious pictures of Steve in Infinity War were floating across my dash giving me all the good feelings. The scene that opens this fic popped into my head and wouldn't go away. After trying to shake it, I decided to develop it and see where the idea could go. This fic is the result.
> 
> It will be just shy of 83,000 words and 18 chapters all told from Darcy's point of view. The major focus of the story will be the developing relationship with her and Steve via the fake dating trope with fluff and angst and sexual tension and mutual pining. However, the relationship between Jane and Thor is also a driving force, and I attempt to address to break-up. There will be lots of interaction between Jane and Darcy as they navigate the murky waters of dating a superhero and exactly how much that can suck. There is a little side storyline, primarily in the first half of the fic, with Nat and Sam, but it's definitely background.
> 
> The majority of the story was written prior to the release of Infinity War. After seeing it, I went back and tweaked a few things to allow the fic to fit better into the existing canon universe. Not everything will fit, though, so please suspend your disbelief. I didn't think any of you would be too sad at me for switching things up and throwing that ending out the window. There will be some action toward the end, but I do promise a happy ending here even if the movie didn't give us one. I don't kill people in fics unless they're Thanos. ;-)
> 
> As with my other fics, the first draft is complete. [bulmavegotaku](http://bulmavegotaku.tumblr.com/) has kindly acted as my beta and made corrections and suggestions to make this story better. If you enjoy it, you should thank her, too. I'll be posting one chapter a day as I go through and make my final edits. Toward the end, I may post two chapters a day if my editing schedule allows for it. The lyrics that start each chapter are part of my personal playlist for the fic and are songs I listened to while writing it. I'll provide a complete list later. Most of them are oldies (but goodies)!
> 
> I hope you enjoy my very first (and hopefully not last) Shieldshock fic. I love feedback. Comments and messages make my day and fuel my muse. If you'd like to reach out to me on Tumblr, you can find me on the same name--[anogete](https://anogete.tumblr.com/). My ask box is open, even for anonymous messages. You are also welcome to email me at anogete527@yahoo.com. Any constructive criticism can be sent to my email privately so I may review and respond accordingly. Trust me, I won't get mad if you find a continuity or grammatical error. Those sorts of things can only make my writing better.
> 
> Thanks for getting on this ride with me. I hope you enjoy yourself!

>   _“The night we met I knew I needed you so, and if I had the chance I’d never let you go.” - The Ronettes (Be My Baby)_

The jet was surprisingly quiet. Eerily quiet, Darcy thought as she watched it descend from the dark sky. The orange landing pad lights on the roof of the building behind her reflected off the belly of the aircraft moments before it settled down on the concrete structure with a whoosh of air from its engines. She could hear movement above and voices that were just far enough away that she couldn’t make out the words. Likely the ground crew coming out to greet those returning from a mission in Tibet.

Flicking the ash from the tip of her cigarette into the small ashtray beside her, she looked up into the sky where the quinjet had appeared. The stars were unnaturally bright this far northeast of Helsinki. She and Jane had spent time working in Scandinavia before; its clear night skies allowed Jane to excel in her research. This, however, had been the longest stretch of time Darcy hadn’t been back home in the States. She’d thought after almost two years living in a country that spoke Finnish that she’d be better at the foreign tongue. Maybe living and working on a compound filled with English-speakers was her problem. It didn’t really allow her to immerse herself in the local culture when the place just felt like any other secret government facility she and Jane had been shuffled to over the past few years.

Except this wasn’t really a government facility. It was more like a clandestine organization with private funding from who-knows-where run by a badass with an eyepatch and an attitude. After having two run-ins with Nick Fury in which she successfully pissed him off by opening her big mouth, she’d decided avoidance of the head honcho was in order. She didn’t think Jane would let him fire her, but she also didn’t know that for sure.

Radios were crackling above, tinny voices giving orders or acknowledging them. Darcy zipped her hoodie up and folded in on herself as a gust of wind blew through the back patio of the building. Her ass was on the weathered wooden top of one of the many picnic tables that were scattered over the concrete pad. Her feet were on the seat of the table. Junes this far north in Finland weren’t like Junes in New Mexico or even New York. The temperatures at night were in the forties or fifties. Not freezing, but not exactly ideal for late night cigarettes when Jane got frustrating and Darcy needed a little break. She’d had too many cigarettes lately anyway.

Back in school, she’d been a social smoker—a couple when she went out for drinks with friends. After she’d hitched her little wagon to Jane, she’d stopped smoking altogether. Lately, though, she’d picked it back up again. Last summer she’d slipped out of the compound and bought an overpriced pack of cigs at a little store in the nearest town. That first pack had lasted her over three months. The second pack stretched out just as long. Now, though, those packs seemed to disappear in a couple weeks. It had almost become a nightly ritual to come outside, sometimes bundled in a puffy coat and gloves, and suck on what Jane referred to as a ‘cancer stick.’ Whatever. Jane was addicted to Pop Tarts and science. She mainlined astronomical data like a druggie, staying up for two days at a time while fueled by coffee and sugar and her latest hypothesis. She didn’t have room to bitch at Darcy for a cig now and then.

The clang of metal against metal four floors above on the roof carried far in the silence of the night. The Agency—that’s what everyone called this strange organization that employed former Avengers and rogue scientists and Nick Fury’s loyal special ops team—was based out of a few ugly concrete buildings in a remote area. The nearest town was twenty miles away and the dead-end road that led to the compound comprised ten of those miles. Ten miles of field and forest and water surrounding a narrow road. It should have felt freeing, but it didn’t. It actually felt stifling to live in such a remote place. Darcy longed for the convenience of walking down a sidewalk to restaurants and stores and bars.

The only place to walk to here was the cafeteria and the gym. The food wasn’t great, and the only reason to go to the gym was to see one of the hotties who went on missions. Those guys had a tendency to exercise in a pair of athletic shorts and not much else. It was a delicate balance, though. A little bit of eye candy was nice for the imagination, but too much was just frustration and restless nights.

When she and Jane first arrived, Darcy liked to think about how the population of this remote compound was skewed pretty heavily in the male direction. More men, less women. The women who were here might seem pretty appealing to some guy who was looking to blow off a little steam after a hard mission. Chances were she could easily sleep with a guy way out of her league just because she was convenient. Not that she wasn’t a fucking catch or anything, but she wasn’t exactly a knockout either. And some of these ex-military guys with the crew cuts and the muscles and the alpha attitude wouldn’t have given her a second look in the real world outside of the Agency’s secret base in the middle of Finland.

Last summer, she’d convinced herself that she was into a little no-strings-attached fucking. One of the guys who worked intelligence missions had been pulled off duty to recover from a broken arm. The arm didn’t take that long to heal, but he got restless waiting for his next assignment and started pressing her, dropping comments about her coming back to his quarters, leaning in close when he dropped by Jane’s lab to talk to her. In the end, she didn’t follow through. His body was an A-plus, but his attitude was a C-minus. By the time she’d talked herself into fucking around with him, he was in the wind—sent off to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what.

Whatever. She didn’t need sex. It had been almost two and a half years with her trusty vibrator as her sole companion. Thank goodness she’d brought it with her because filling out a requisition form for a sex toy was just not something she could bring herself to do. If it broke, then she’d have to reassess the situation and determine just how bad she needed the assistance to get off versus just how embarrassed she’d be to submit the form and have some dudes in requisitions and accounting know she was fucking herself instead of getting real sex. Not that they were doing much better. Again—more guys than girls. And she knew Jane wasn’t giving it up. She was still pining over Thor’s magic dick.

A thud to her right made Darcy’s heart jump into her throat. She tensed, ready to jump off the table and run. This place was peaceful enough, but she’d seen her share of shit in the past few years. The world was not nearly as safe as she’d once thought. Her muscles relaxed when she saw the unmistakable shoulders and perfect ass of Captain America in his dark stealth suit as he stood from a low crouch. He’d jumped off the roof like some sort of crazy person. She regretted not seeing him make the drop, just seeing him as he lifted himself up and took quick, even, oh-so-competent steps toward the fenceline a couple football fields away.

 _Ugh_ , she thought. He was perfection with the body and the tousled hair and the full beard. Once he was a few yards out, the security lighting around the building faded so she could no longer see him. He came back into view as he approached the tower on the back perimeter. She watched him climb it and have a conversation with the two men on the night shift, hands on his narrow hips.

After a couple minutes, he climbed back down the rungs of the ladder and made his way toward the building and the door behind her. She knew he saw her as soon as he started back. He'd probably seen her before he’d jumped off the roof. Who _did_ that anyway? Who just hopped off a four-story building because it was faster than taking the stairs? Crazy, hot, sexy soldiers pumped full of serum that gave them super powers, that’s who.

She’d only spoken to him a couple times. They didn’t exactly run in the same circles. Plus, he was gone on missions fairly often and seemed to keep to himself when he was around. Both times she’d had the experience of listening to him were in a group conversation with Jane, Sam Wilson, and Captain Rogers’ perfectly beautiful and blonde girlfriend—Sharon. Sharon was her very own kind of badass. She knew how to use a gun and kick a man in the face when he was being an asshole. Darcy was only a little jealous of her competency and ability to shut shit down without depending on a Tazer.

God, he was coming straight toward her. Feeling self-conscious, she stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray and waved away the last bit of smoke lingering in the air around her. His expression was unreadable. Rumor was that he and that perfect girlfriend had called it quits a couple months ago. Well, actually, the rumor was that Sharon had dumped him and was spending time with a guy named Dave Thompson who headed one of the cleanup squads that went in to put things to right after Captain America and his team had torn things up.

The interesting delineation between Cap’s job fucking shit up for the sake of saving people and Dave’s job cleaning up Cap’s mess hadn’t been lost on Darcy when she heard that Dave was picking up right where Cap had left off with Sharon. Since the rumor mill started churning in the Agency, Steve Rogers had not said a word about it. If anything, he was more scarce than he’d ever been. If he wasn’t out in the field on a mission, he was holed up in his quarters on the corner of the fourth floor of the main building.

“Miss Lewis,” he said, nodding his head in greeting as he stepped up on the concrete pad from the lawn.

“Darcy,” she corrected. “You could have warned a girl that you were going to jump off the roof, Captain Rogers.”

His quick, no-nonsense stride faltered and he slowed before coming to a stop. “Sorry about that, Darcy.” There was a soft, subtle smile on his face that was more attractive than it should have been. “And it’s Steve. Lost my title when I left.”

“They still call you Cap around here,” she said. “I doubt that will ever change.”

“Not me anymore,” he replied, resting his hands on his hips. It just accentuated his broad shoulders and showed off those sexy forearms that she had wet dreams about.

“Yeah,” she said, pushing the ashtray away from her. “I heard your code name is Nomad. That’s a weird choice, _Steve_.”

He laughed softly under his breath and took a couple steps closer to where she sat on the surface of the picnic table. “I’m surprised you know that. Code names are classified.”

“Hey, I hear things. Not sure how you run things out there in the field, but around here people haven’t heard the phrase about loose lips.”

Steve tilted his head to the side. “What’s that phrase?”

“Loose lips sink ships. Lots of chatty Kathys in these parts. I’m surprised more heads don’t roll with Nick ‘Need-to-Know’ Fury in charge.”

“Hard to keep people from gossiping, I guess,” Steve replied, lifting a hand to push his hair back. _Fuck_ , Darcy thought, he was too sexy, too effortlessly delicious, too much. What the hell was Sharon Carter thinking? Boring Dave would be invisible standing next to hottie-with-a-body Steven Rogers.

As his comment settled into her consciousness, Darcy almost winced. She wondered how much and what he knew about the gossip over the demise of his relationship with Sharon. “True,” she agreed, “but me? I’m the soul of discretion.”

This made him chuckle under his breath before nodding at the ashtray. “Those’ll kill ya, ya know.”

“Yeah, I know. With the amount of shit I get from Jane, you’d think she was a medical doctor and not a science doctor.”

“Is a medical doctor not a science doctor?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You know what I mean, _Steve_.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

“Don’t ma’am me.”

“Yes, Darcy.”

Wasn’t that just fuel for her fucking dreams? “I could get used to the elusive Nomad agreeing to my every request.”

Another soft chuckle, this one just a little bashful as he ducked his head and shifted his gaze away from her.

“You want a cancer stick?” she asked, fishing the pack out of her pocket and offering it to him.

Steve shook his head and smiled warmly at her. “Nah. I, uh, tried to take up the habit a long time ago. All I got was a coughing fit. When I tried to stick it out, I got sick and lost my dinner.”

“Yeah, it’s bad for you,” Darcy agreed.

“I was a scrawny kid and thought it’d make me look cool, make girls like me.”

“Don’t think you need any help with that now, Steve.”

He shrugged, his shoulders bunching up around his neck before they relaxed and leveled out. “Maybe the coughing fit was my body trying to tell me that asthma was enough to handle; I didn’t need to be complicating things with, uh, what’d you call ‘em? Cancer sticks.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m quitting.”

“That so?”

“Yep.”

“Since when?”

“Since now. You inspired me, Cap.”

“Glad to hear it,” he said with a smile. “Goodnight, Miss…” He stopped himself before clearing his throat and amending his farewell with, “Goodnight, Darcy.”

She watched him walk past her and punch his code into the pad by the door. “Night, Steve. Welcome back from Tibet,” Darcy replied.

He opened the door before turning around and saying, “You really shouldn’t know where I was. That was classified.”

Darcy just smiled and said, “Loose lips, Steve.”

He just shook his head and gave her a wave with his gloved hand before disappearing into the building. Well, she knew what she was doing when she crawled into bed tonight—imagining how well the shape of her vibrator compared to Steve Roger’s undoubtedly glorious and perfect dick.

 

* * *

 

 

She didn’t see Steve Rogers again for three weeks. Darcy would be lying if she said it wasn’t a very disappointing three weeks. Not that she thought anything was ever going to happen between them, but it was nice to think that maybe they had some sort of strange, friendly acquaintanceship now that involved just the two of them and not her knowing Sam or his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, she corrected herself. Crazy ex-girlfriend. Who dumped Captain America?! Who gave up the ability to see him naked and looking like a god? At least, he looked that way in her fantasies.

What did happen after Steve took off on his next mission were several mandatory meetings and memos with not-so-vague threats about what the word classified meant and how the phrase need-to-know didn’t mean you could tell your friend about missions. Obviously, her little comment to Steve must have found its way back to Nick Fury, who was none too happy as he had given a long lecture to the support staff about gossip. It was almost like high school with an especially scary principal who was disappointed in the student body as a whole. Darcy spent the entire time sitting in the back of the room trying to wipe the grin off her face without much luck.

What _had_ wiped the grin away was Nick Fury approaching her after the meeting and tilting his head toward the side exit. Once they were in the hallway, he’d leveled that single eye on her and said, “I’d like to hear directly from you if you find yourself in possession of information you know you shouldn’t have.”

Darcy had narrowed her eyes at the man and replied, “You want me to be a nark and turn people in?”

“I want you to help maintain the integrity of our organization.”

She’d scrunched up her nose. “Soooo, be a nark.”

“Miss Lewis, don’t try my patience. You’re here against my better judgment. The least you could do is make yourself useful.”

“I’m not ratting people out.”

“Security leaks put our people in danger. Captain Rogers and his team can only perform their duties if they maintain a high level of secrecy. We’re operating outside of government control and oversight.” Fury had looked down at her and finished with, “Do you want to put Captain Rogers in danger.”

She didn’t want him in danger at all, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself from saying, “He said he’s not a captain anymore. Not since he got the boot when he broke his buddies out of jail.”

“Miss Lewis, you try my patience.”

“Fine. Okay,” she’d agreed. “I’ll be your little mole if it helps Steve.”

Fury’s only eye had twitched at her use of Captain America’s first name, but he hadn’t continued the conversation. Instead, he’d just turned on his heel and walked away.

Now, here she was, almost three weeks later, looking over raw data from a telescope in West Virginia. Jane had just fallen asleep at her desk, which was par for the course nowadays. God, she wanted a cigarette. Darcy was annoyed with herself because she’d never really considered that the increase in the frequency of her smoke breaks would result in addiction. She’d never had that problem in college. Now, all she could think about was going outside and the sweet relief of a long drag. Dammit, she thought. She’d been able to cut back, but she still wanted one every night around this time. It had been three days without and the cravings wouldn’t go away.

Pulling open her desk drawer, she rummaged around until she found the half-full pack with a lighter shoved inside. Quietly, so as not to wake Jane, she rolled away from the desk and slipped out the lab door. They were on the second floor of the building, so Darcy took the back staircase and pushed out the door to the patio into the warm early night air. It was almost sixty-five. The breeze felt good against her face as she settled into her spot on the picnic table furthest from the building and lit up her cigarette.

She should have just brought one with her. The temptation to smoke this one and light another was already bouncing around in her head. Maybe she should get some gum. Maybe even nicotine gum to wean herself off the bad habit. What kind of loser started smoking at the ripe age of twenty-nine when studies about carcinogens in cigarettes were widely available? Oh, me, she thought as she savored a long drag. Flicking the ashes into the tray to her left, she exhaled a stream of smoke from between her lips and rested her elbows on her knees.

The door behind her clicked open, and Darcy turned her head to look at her visitor. She nearly swallowed her tongue when she realized it was Steve Rogers, in all his glory. And also in a pair of gray sweatpants and a white tee. Jesus, she thought, looking away. The man had no right to look that good.

“Hey, Steve,” she said with her back to him.

“I thought I told you those are bad for you,” he said. His step was light as he approached and sat down beside her on the tabletop. His feet were bare and oddly attractive as he situated them on the bench seat.

“You did. I don’t follow orders well,” Darcy replied. Turning her head, she took a drag and blew out the smoke in the opposite direction. “How you been?”

“Okay,” he replied. “Saw you out here and thought I’d say hello.”

His response took Darcy off guard, but it explained why he was in sweats and without footwear. “That’s unusual,” she replied. “I rarely see you around when you’re here.”

“Guess I’m becoming a hermit in my old age,” Steve said, shifting to get more comfortable. Darcy glanced over at him, just a couple feet away. The sweatpants were scandalous—loose yet somehow clinging to the muscles of his thighs in the way they draped.

She chuckled softly over his attempt at a joke. “Jane fell asleep at the wheel. I’m trying to finish reviewing the raw data from the Green Bank telescope.”

“How’d you get access? I thought that was publically funded by the government.”

“Lost their funding a couple years back, actually. They’re rogue.” She blew a stream of smoke out to her left before looking back over at Steve. “We still layered our request to use the telescope, though. There are a couple bogus organizations between us and them. Just in case, you know.”

Steve leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees and looked over at her. “I thought you said loose lips sink ships.”

Rolling her eyes, Darcy replied, “Yeah, well, you’re one of the head honchos around here next to Fury. I think your security clearance is higher than mine.” She paused before she continued with, “Also, thanks to you, Fury wants me to tattle on people for sharing trade secrets.”

“We can’t have people compromising the missions.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Thanks, Darcy.”

“No prob, Steve.”

Darcy finished her cigarette as they sat together in silence. She watched the two guards in the watchtower as they switched seats. Steve was looking at his feet, his head hanging down. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

The softness of his voice and the way his hair fell down and obscured his profile made her heart pound a little harder. “Yeah, sure,” she replied, stubbing out her cigarette and setting the ashtray to her left.

“You’re, uh, acquainted with the… rumors around here. Right?”

Darcy lifted her brows as she looked over at him. He was still bent over with his forearms braced on his knees, but his head was tilted so he could look at her. “Yeah. You want me to be a snitch, too?”

He smiled softly, but it looked a little broken, more than a little unhappy. “Nah. I, uh, was just wondering if you’d heard anything about… me and… well, Sharon.”

Oh. _Oh_. He wanted to know what people were saying about the breakup. How the hell was she supposed to answer that? Finally, she said, “What? That you two broke up? Yeah, I’ve heard.”

“Do you mind if I ask what people are saying?”

She shook her head before leaning back and bracing herself with palms pressed into the tabletop behind her. “People say a lot of things. People _always_ say a lot of things.”

“Like what?” he asked, mimicking her as he leaned back, bracing himself with his arms as well.

“Uh, stuff. I mean, I guess I heard that she broke up with you. That she’s seeing Dave Thompson now. Look, the rumor mill doesn’t always get it right. It’s just kid stuff, you know? Like high school.”

He looked away for a moment before turning his weighty gaze back to her. “Yeah, I know.”

“Look, obviously _you_ dumped _her_ ,” she said.

This made his lips twitch into what almost passed for a smile. “What makes you so sure of that?”

“Hey, I’m not blind. You’re a catch.”

He looked away again. Darcy couldn’t decide if it was shyness or discomfort or both. “The rumors are true,” Steve finally said. He looked over at her. “She ended things with me, not the other way around.”

“Hmmm,” Darcy mused as she leaned further back onto her elbows. The weathered wood was rough against the skin of her forearms, but the angle let her see the clear, black sky above them and all the stars dotting the expanse. “I always thought that there was something wrong with that chick.”

She glanced over at Steve and smiled. He didn’t react for a moment, and then his lips parted into a wide smile as he laughed under his breath. “Thanks for that, Darcy.”

“Hey, facts are facts. She’s cray.”

“Not really, but it’s nice that you’re taking up for me. I appreciate it.” He dropped back on his elbows with her; they were so close to each other now. His hand was inches from her own.

They laid there like that for a full minute before Darcy said, “Hey, are you okay?”

It took him a few seconds to finally say, “Yeah, sure. I’m fine.”

“Don’t let the people talking behind your back get to you. They’re just jealous.”

He snorted out a weary laugh. “Jealous of what? How much I can bench press? Because that’s about all I have going for me now.”

“Don’t make me punch you in the face, Steve Rogers,” she said in a stern voice.

He pushed himself up and slipped off the table. “Yeah, well, don’t make me steal your cigarettes, Darcy.” He took two steps back. “They’re bad for ya. Better quit.”

“No smoke breaks means no conversations with you. Sad times, Steve.”

“Yeah?” he asked, the corner of his mouth lifting into the sexiest smirk there ever was. “I’ll find you. You work in the lab on the second floor, right?”

“Such commitment to my health,” she said, turning to watch him back away toward the door.

He smiled and it almost looked bashful. “Saving lives is my thing.”

Darcy laughed a little too loudly. Probably loud enough for the two guards in the watchtower to hear and look over to see what was going on. “I do declare, Captain Rogers,” she said in her best imitation of a southern accent as she threw an arm over her forehead and imitated a swoon.

He laughed in return as he opened the door to the building. “Goodnight, Darcy. Thanks for… answering my question honestly.”

“I’m a straight shooter, babe,” she replied. “Goodnight, Steve.”

After he’d left her alone, she plucked the pack of cigarettes out of her cardigan pocket and stared down at them. She really needed to stop smoking completely. It was already out of hand. No longer just social, but becoming a bad habit. She shook the remaining six cigarettes out into her hand, rolling them back and forth in her palm.

Carefully, she sat all of them but one on the tabletop beside her. She wanted to smoke the one in her hand, but instead of that she pinched the end of it and rolled the paper and packed tobacco between her thumb and forefinger. The thin paper tore and the dry tobacco crumbled as it fell to the ground. A light breeze lifted her hair up and scattered the remnants of the cigarette across the grass.

As she crumbled the remaining cigarettes one by one, she thought of these two strange interactions with Steve Rogers. She’d always pegged him as a hardass without a sense of humor. The man had always been like some sort of perfect robot whenever she’d seen him around the compound. A sexbot, she thought. He was probably like a well-oiled machine in bed. What the fuck was Sharon Carter thinking? Dave was alright, but Steve was the hottest piece of ass she’d ever seen. Now that she knew he had a sense of humor and a personality hidden underneath all that sexiness? Her crush couldn’t get worse.

The tobacco from the last cigarette blew across the grass, and Darcy stood up with the paper and filters smashed together in her fist. She pocketed the lighter and used the edge of her shoe to sweep some of the cigarette remnants from the concrete pad before making her way inside. She needed to finish checking the data from Green Bank and rouse Jane so the other woman could sleep in an actual bed. Then she could go back to her place and pretend that Steve Rogers was coming over to fuck her into her mattress. If only.


	2. Chapter 2

>   _“But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it’s real. You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you.” - Frankie Valli (Can’t Take My Eyes Off You)_

Darcy tapped the eraser of her pencil against the table and stared at the white wall across the room. She really needed to grab a car and go to the store. She really needed some nicotine gum or patch or something. Like _really_. If she didn’t get it, then she was sure she’d end up murdering someone or drowning herself in her bathtub. Which would be a fucking feat because the damn thing was narrow as hell and barely wide enough to fit her ass. Granted, she was a little wide in the hip department, but it wasn’t like she was a whale or anything. It was just the ex-military mindset. Spend more on guns and less on amenities like bathtubs for the civilians who are helping to save the day by working to close or open possible rips in the fabric of space and time. You know, science and stuff. No big.

“Are you going through nicotine withdrawal?” Jane asked, looking up from her computer screen.

“No,” Darcy snapped back.

Jane pursed her lips and gave Darcy that look—the look that made her feel like she was talking to her mother and couldn’t pass a lie off as a truth for shit. “You shouldn’t have destroyed all your cigarettes. The best method to quit smoking is to wean yourself off the dependence on the nicotine. There have been studies done that–”

“Thanks, Jane. I don’t need to hear about the studies. I’m all studied out. For real.”

“It’s been three days since you had one. I read an article that cravings follow the rule of three. People tend to crave nicotine in increments of three. I mean, I really don’t know about the validity of that in an actual scientific study, but I found the assertion that the human body, which is a very efficient machine, could–”

“Jane.” Darcy’s voice was like a bark. “Please. You’re not helping.”

Her friend frowned and turned her gaze back to the computer screen. “Don’t be so crabby, Darcy.”

“Stop acting like my mother, Jane.”

They both looked up when the door to the lab opened. Darcy barely kept her jaw from dropping when she saw Steven fucking Rogers step inside, the door closing behind him. He was in a pair of jeans that hugged his thighs and probably made his ass look like a work of art if he’d just turn around. His shirt was white and his bomber jacket was made of faded and well-worn brown leather. The man had no business looking so fucking good with his hair pushed artfully back from his face and the beard giving off the lumberjack-who-would-fuck-you-silly vibe.

“Hi,” Jane said. “Are you lost?”

Steve smiled and said, “No, I was just… looking for Darcy.”

Darcy lifted her brows in surprise. “Me?” she squeaked.

“Told ya I’d find you.”

“Yep. I didn’t think you were serious, though.”

He walked over to her desk and stood in front of her. Still seated, her face was eye level with his crotch. Thoughts of sliding the zipper of his jeans down and giving him the most enthusiastic blow job he’d ever had pinged around in her deranged mind.

“You quit smoking?” he asked.

“Unfortunately.” Darcy held up three fingers. “Day three.”

Jane stood and slipped around behind Steve, shooting Darcy a look that said the two of them would talk about this later. “I’m just… gonna grab some lunch. You want anything, Darcy?”

“Nope. I’m good,” Darcy replied, trying to school her expression. She was just as confused as Jane was about why Steve Rogers was making what seemed to be a social call in what the macho military assholes on the base called the Estrogen Lab. When Darcy had found out about the nickname, she’d wanted to knock some heads together, but Jane just rolled her eyes at the silly men. Jane was probably right. Living well was the best revenge. Or, in this case, succeeding with her research and possibly saving the world one day was the best revenge.

Steve grabbed a chair and pulled it over so he could sit across the desk from her. “I brought you something,” he said.

“Wait,” Darcy said, holding up her hands, palms toward him. “Are we, like, friends now, Rogers?”

He smiled but didn’t answer her. Instead, he pulled a white rectangular pack from the pocket of his bomber. She watched as he tapped the corner of it on the desk before laying it flat and sliding hit over to her.

In blue lettering on the package were the words ‘Nicotine Gum’ underneath what was an unfamiliar language. Darcy exhaled a sound of amused disbelief from her nose and shook her head at him as she tried and failed to hide her smile. “I was getting ready to fill out a requisition form for a vehicle so I could go into town and get a pack.”

“Town doesn’t have a pack,” he told her, leaning back in the chair. “I looked. Not many people in Finland smoke. And the ones who do aren’t looking to quit.”

She sighed. “I should have guessed when the only store in town that sold cigs only had two brands and no methols.”

“Must be the universe telling you to quit.”

She rolled her eyes. “Or you telling me to quit. Where did you find the gum?”

“Took the jet down to Poland last night.” He looked guilty as he mumbled the answer.

“What? Say that again. You what?”

“Darcy,” he said, a warning in his voice.

“Captain fucking America took the quinjet for a little jaunt to Poland last night to buy me a packet of nicotine gum so I don’t murder someone. Did I get that right?”

He smiled and crossed his ankle over his knee. “Steve took the quinjet down to Poland to buy you nicotine gum.”

“What do I owe Steve, then?” Darcy asked, secretly hoping that this conversation was going to take a turn for the dirty like in some formulaic porn and he would tell her that she owed him a nice, long blowjob before they fucked on her desk.

Unfortunately for Darcy, Steve was much too wholesome to do the nasty in her office. “Nothing,” he said.

“How much was it? Ten, twenty bucks?”

“Darcy, you don’t owe me anything. My treat. Really.”

“Aren’t you just the nicest guy ever,” she teased. He watched her as she opened the box and pushed one of the white squares out of the foil backing. Darcy popped it into her mouth and bit down. The gum had a sharp taste to it, layered with peppermint. Steve laughed softly as she grimaced and pushed through, chewing it up and rolling it around on her tongue. “I’d ask you why Sharon dumped you, but I know that answer is because she’s a full out crazy bitch,” Darcy said.

This made him laugh a bit harder, but his gaze slipped away from her, landing on the wall and then the floor. And then the door. He didn’t really want to discuss Sharon. Where did blondie get off breaking Mr. Perfect’s heart?

“Sharon isn’t crazy. She… had her reasons,” Steve said.

“Hey, don’t sweat it. I can tell this isn’t your fav topic. Say no more.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s… fine. I’m, uh… it’s nice to actually have someone ask me about it to my face instead of whispering behind my back.”

“That bad?” Darcy asked.

“Mmm, yeah. Kinda obvious when I walk into the room and everyone gets quiet. I’ve been keeping to my rooms lately. Last time I went to the mess hall everyone was watching me and her like we were going to have some fight in the middle of dinner or something.”

“She was cuddled up to Davey-boy?” Darcy asked.

He gave a short, dry laugh. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Awk-ward.”

“Yeah, yeah. A little,” he said.

“God, that sucks. Working with your ex after a breakup. Good on you, man. I couldn’t do it,” Darcy said, shaking her head and fiddling with the packet of gum.

“It’s, uh, a small community here,” he said.

“Yeah, for sure. Take it from someone who grew up in multiple places, some of which were small. Little towns have the most and the worst gossip. It can tear you down.”

“I feel like I felt when I was a kid—before I joined the army. Before… this.” Steve lifted his arms up and looked down at his body. Darcy couldn’t stop her eyes from flicking down to take in the way his T-shirt hugged his chest.

She licked her lips and said, “That sucks, Steve. I mean, the gossip, not… not your muscles.”

They both laughed at her awkward addendum. “Thanks, Darcy,” he finally said.

“What do you mean you feel like when you were a kid?”

He shrugged. “I feel like I’m… a loser or something. I feel like everyone pities me.”

“Trust me,” Darcy said, leaning forward. “No one pities you. I’m not really going out on a limb here when I say that every guy here wants to be you and every woman here wants to do you.”

He almost choked on an abrupt laugh as he turned his head away from her. He was so damn cute when he got bashful. “Uh, I don’t think so,” he said. “Being me isn’t that great.”

“Well, I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park, but I’m saying that most of those guys and some of those girls would switch places any day of the week.” Darcy looked down at the desk and then back up at him. His eyes were on her again and he looked pretty damn sad. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive, right? I don’t know you or what your life is like.”

He shook his head. “Nah, it’s okay. I ain’t upset about that.”

“So… what? Everyone thinks you’re pining over Sharon and they think that’s pathetic, right? Just show them that you’re not.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Talk to other women. Flirt. Take ‘em back to your place and blow their minds. Start your own gossip. Steve Rogers: orgasm giver extraordinaire.”

He blushed. Actually _blushed_ and dropped his gaze before saying, “Darcy, come on. I can’t do that. Not my style.”

“What? Flirt with women?”

“Yeah.”

Darcy grinned as she thought of a most excellent way she could repay him for caring enough to fly to another country to buy stupid nicotine gum for her. “How do you feel about acting?” she asked.

He gave her a sidelong glance. “Acting? Like in a play?”

“Or in your life. How about you act like you’re interested in me, and I’ll act like we’re doing it.”

He turned to her and swallowed. She could see his Adam’s apple slide up his neck and then back down. “ _What_?” Steve asked, sounding slightly scandalized and maybe a little intrigued.

“I’m just saying that we can flip the script, shake things up. Maybe make people talk about something other than you getting dumped. Everyone loves a little scandalous romance, especially if we play it up in front of them.”

“Wait, are you talking about us… acting like we’re dating?”

Darcy groaned and put her forehead on the desk. Lifting her head up, she leveled her gaze on him. “Keep up, Steve. Yes, I’m talking about you pretending you’re into me.”

“And you pretending we’re…”

“Boning,” she offered when he trailed off.

“Darcy…” He was definitely blushing now. What kind of world were they living in that the hottest piece of ass on the planet was blushing over a girl suggesting they let people assume he was getting some? Was it her? Was he embarrassed because of her? Sure, she was no Sharon Carter, but she wasn’t _that_ bad, was she?

“I mean, if you’re not able to act like you’re interested... If you don’t think it would be believable–”

“That’s not the problem,” Steve said, interrupting her. His eyes were so blue and so earnest. He looked like an alpha male who would rip your dress down the front and take you up against the wall until you looked into those eyes and realized the man was just a sweet puppy dog.

“So, let’s do it.”

“It’s not fair to you. Your reputation…”

“Reputation shmeputation. I could only be so lucky to bag your ass. Seriously, you’d be doing me a favor.”

“Darcy, I just don’t think–”

She leaned forward until they were only inches apart. “Don’t think, then. It’ll be easy. A little flirting at dinner, sneaking out of the building together, me slipping in and out of your place or vice versa. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. The gossip hounds will love it. We’ll be the talk of the town… er, the Agency. And before you know it,” she said, snapping her fingers, “nobody will be talking about poor Steve who got dumped. They’ll be talking about Steve getting it in with that hot chick who works in the lab.”

“Darcy.”

“What?” she asked. “You don’t think I’m hot?”

“It’s… it’s not… not that,” he said, stumbling over his words and looking like a nervous fool.

She waved his concern away. “Think about it. You can’t control them talking, but you can control the narrative.”

He stood and wiped his palms on the front of his jeans. “Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it.”

She pulled the wad of gum out of her mouth just as he opened the door. “This stuff tastes terrible.”

“I’ll get you more the next time I’m out.”

“Maybe a different flavor,” she suggested.

 

* * *

 

 

Two days later and Darcy had popped three of those nasty pieces of gum in her mouth, but they took the edge off her cravings. There were nine more in the blister pack, and she didn’t know when Steve Rogers would grace her with his presence and another pack. He was in the wind as far as she knew. Sometimes the missions lasted a day and other times they lasted a month. She was hoping this one wouldn’t last a month, but since the little talk from Fury after she’d spilled the beans about loose lips to Steve, people weren’t so free with the mission intel. Things were once again need-to-know and Jane Foster’s lab assistant wasn’t on the shortlist.

She spit the piece out she’d been chewing on for the last two hours and flipped the two grilled cheese sandwiches over in the skillet. Tonight was special. Tonight she was actually cooking herself dinner in her own apartment. Like a fucking adult, she thought with pleasure. Look at me now, mom.

The music streaming from her phone through the speakers in her living room paused for a moment as her phone dinged to indicate a message received. Only a second later, the sweet sound of Motown resumed as if nothing had happened. Darcy rolled her eyes and poked at the two sandwiches impatiently. It was ten o’clock at night; there was no fucking way she was going back into the lab after escaping just a half an hour ago. She needed alone time away from Jane. The message was, no doubt, from Jane. Fuck that noise. No way was she picking up her phone until she'd finished her food.

Fifteen minutes later found her with an empty plate at her tiny breakfast bar. She gave her phone the stink eye before finally picking it up and checking her messages. Surprisingly, the text that had interrupted dinner wasn't from Jane, but from a blocked phone number. It just said her name with a question mark afterward. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Darcy replied with, “Who wants to know?” and sat the phone down.

Three minutes later her phone dinged and she snatched it up to see Steve’s name as the response. Steve Rogers texted? Was the world mad? Or was this some joke? Some dick with too much time on his hands who saw Steve come into the lab a couple days ago? Darcy hesitated for a moment before typing her response.

**Prove it**

Short, to the point. _And_ she hadn’t confirmed her name. Spending so much time with these spy types was really allowing her to step up her evasive game. She glanced down when her phone dinged.

**How?**

Before she could type a response, she could see the ellipsis appear, indicating he was still writing. The message came a full minute later, which made her more inclined to believe this was Steve texting her. He didn’t seem like the type who had mastered quick typing on that tiny screen.

**I gave you some nicotine gum a couple days ago**

Darcy leaned on her counter and texted him back with a smile on her face.

**Send me a pic**

Two minutes later she had her reply.

**A pic is a picture right? Of what?**

**You to prove you’re Steve**

She had to wait five minutes after that for a response. Unfortunately, it was not a picture.

**I’m on a mission darcy. And I don’t know how to take a picture of myself**

Grinning, she typed out a quick tutorial on how to pull up the front-facing camera while in the messenger app. Ten minutes ticked by, then fifteen. It was beginning to look like she wasn’t going to get her very own personal picture of Steve Rogers’ sexy self. After twenty minutes, she walked away from her phone to brush her teeth. When she returned, the LED light was blinking.

Instead of seeing a lame excuse for why he couldn’t send her a picture, she found his face in the chat log. A lock of his hair had slipped from behind his ear to lay against his cheekbone and his lips were parted just slightly. She swept her eyes over his beard and then the console of what she suspected was the quinjet behind him. Finally, she looked into his eyes and saw someone who was concentrating very hard to get the picture right. It was endearing and made her want to cuddle with him. After they had wild sex up against her apartment door, of course. Or maybe that was just in her wildest dreams that would never come true.

**Lookin good Steve**

The ellipsis appeared immediately, and he texted her back quickly.

**How do I know this is Darcy**

She glanced down at her T-shirt before bringing a hand up to adjust her tits and yank the V neck down to show more than a little cleavage. Satisfied that her boobs were in order, she flipped her hair around to frame her face. It took her a couple tries to get the picture right, but she finally sent him one that was satisfactory. She followed it with a text.

**How’d you get my number?**

Ten minutes ticked by before he responded.

**My security clearance is pretty high**

**And to what do I owe the pleasure of this convo?**

Darcy tapped her fingertips on the counter as she waited for his response. Finally, he sent another message.

**Thinking about what you said**

Smiling she responded.

**About getting me a different flavor gum?**

His response was fast this time.

**About controlling the narrative**

Darcy read the message three times, and then she read it once more. _Really_? She’d suggested playing the rumor mill by pretending to date as a throwaway idea. She hadn’t really expected him to agree. Actually, she just assumed that her comment would have spurred him to hit up some other woman on the base. It was just another example of her mouth moving faster than her brain. And yet, here he was texting her on a Wednesday night about that throwaway comment from Monday.

**Oh yeah? What were you thinking?**

He was quick to reply with a question.

**Can I call you**

Her stomach flushed with what felt like heat when she read his response.

**Yep**

It took him fifteen minutes, but sure enough, her phone rang. The display told her the number was blocked. Of course it was. Steve Rogers was one sweet piece of classified ass.

“Hi, Steve,” she said instead of answering with the traditional hello.

He cleared his throat and said, “Hi, Darcy,” back to her. She would have said his voice was warm if he hadn’t sounded so damn nervous.

“What got you to thinking about our conversation a couple days ago? I thought you’d thrown out my suggestion.”

“Uh, no. I’ve… been thinking about it since you said it.” He laughed softly under his breath. “I think the guys on my team feel sorry for me. Sam’s trying to play matchmaker.”

“Yeah? Who’s the lucky lady?”

This made him chuckle again. “I have no idea. Don’t really want to know.”

“How can you know you aren’t interested if you don’t know who he’s talking about?” Darcy asked.

“I just know.”

“Well,” Darcy said, “I really don’t think they feel sorry for you. I mean… you could get pretty much anyone you want.”

“That’s not true.” His voice was soft but firm.

“Except Sharon Carter, who has obviously lost her mind.”

Steve cleared his throat again before saying, “Did you know I knew her great aunt?”

“Knew? Knew how?”

“We were gonna go dancing. And then I crashed my plane.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes as her brain processed this tidbit of info. “Wait a minute, buddy. Are you telling me that you were dating her great aunt and then you started dating her?”

“Peggy and I never really… dated. Maybe if things had been different.”

“Gross, dude. You can’t be hitting the aunt and then hitting the niece.”

He sounded offended when he said, “Hey, I never hit anyone.”

Darcy chuckled. “No, no, no. Like hit as in have sex with. Not hit as in strike.”

“I never… never with Peggy.”

“But you sexed up her niece. Look, dude, Sharon did you a favor of the highest order.”

“Darcy, I’m not talking about my… love life.”

“Sex life,” she corrected, enjoying his discomfort.

“Yes, I’m not talking about that either.”

“So what are you calling to talk about?” she asked.

He inhaled and blew the air out of his lungs on with a heavy sigh. “So, your… your, uh, offer still stand?”

Darcy pushed herself up off her kitchen counter and turned around. He wasn’t actually considering… No way. “Hell yeah,” she said.

“You sure?” he asked softly.

“Steve,” Darcy said, an admonishment in her voice. “Seriously, dude. Being seen with you is gonna do wonders for my non-existent sex life.”

His laugh sounded choked and strained. “Uh, okay. Let’s… can we not talk about your sex life either? It’s….”

“What?” she teased, “you don’t wanna hear about my vibrator.”

“Uh, yes. No! No, I… don’t.” He sounded flustered and she’d put good money on his face being a cute-as-hell shade of red.

“You’re really easy to get all flustered, Steve,” she told him.

“I know. I’m still adjusting to… modern life. Take it easy on me.”

“I’ll put on my kid gloves,” Darcy said.

Steve sighed and said, “So… I’m not… not sure… Where do we start with this, uh, ruse?”

His choice of words made her want to laugh, but she suppressed the giggles. “When you gonna be back?”

Another sigh. “I don’t know. Four, five days.”

“Dinner in the cafeteria when you get back. We’ll play footsie and you can flirt.”

Another nervous laugh. “I don’t know how to flirt.”

“I bet you’re a fast learner,” she said, a thrill going through her at the prospect of spending more time with the hottest eye candy around.

“You got a lot of faith in my abilities,” he murmured, his voice soft and intimate in her ear. It went straight between her legs and heated her up.

“You’re the man with the plan, aren’t ya?”

“This is your plan.”

She smiled and pressed her ass up against the counter behind her. “Yeah. What, you don’t like it?”

“No, I like it just fine,” he said softly. “I don’t know if it’ll actually work, though.”

“Oh, it’ll work. Don’t doubt, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pleasantly overwhelmed by all of the lovely comments/support I received on the first chapter of this fic. I hope the remaining chapters live up to expectations. I'd love to hear what you think as we dig a little further into the budding relationship between these two cuties.


	3. Chapter 3

> _“I’d rather be with you. Yeah, I’d rather be with you. I want to hold your hand, oh if I can, just be your man.” - Bootsy Collins (I’d Rather Be With You)_

She had three pieces of gum left and was getting antsy about it. Actually, maybe she was more antsy to see Steve and commence with their fake flirting. Pulling open her desk drawer, she looked at the pack of gum and then the clock. Jane was surrounded with stacks of paper. She’d convinced herself that if she could just look at the data again on paper, then it would make more sense than on a computer screen. Darcy thought Jane probably needed to sleep and eat a real meal instead of Pop Tarts or cheese sandwiches from the deli case in the cafeteria. Jane did not agree. Obviously.

“Hey, you want something to eat, you maniac?” Darcy asked her friend.

Jane didn’t even look away from the mosaic of pages scattered on her desk.

“Hey. Hey!” Darcy said, waving her hand. “Jane. Jane. Jane!”

Jane glanced up. “What?” she asked.

“Do. You. Want. Some. Food.”

Jane wiggled her nose and pulled a face. “No thanks.”

“Are you sure? It’s almost seven. You look like you’re gonna be here all night. I know what that crazy look in your eyes means,” Darcy said.

“I’m sure,” Jane assured her, already sticking her nose back in her papers.

Darcy glanced at the gum. Maybe she could pop one in her mouth, work for another couple hours, and get a late dinner from the deli case that was still stocked even after the cafeteria closed at eight.

Just as soon as she picked up the packet, the door to the lab opened and Steve Rogers walked through outfitted in those delicious tactical pants he wore on missions, but with a white tee on instead of the full suit and gear. It felt like her heart jumped up into her throat before dropping back to its home in her chest, beating overtime.

“Hi,” he said, forcing a smile that looked strained and nervous.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Darcy said, smiling back. “Did you bring me the goods?”

He pulled two packets of spearmint nicotine gum in white and green packaging from his pants pocket. Shyly, he stepped up to her desk and laid them in front of her. “Different flavor,” he said.

“Awww, baby, you treat me so good,” she said with a wink.

Steve laughed, but his eyes slid away from her, looking at the surface of her desk and then the floor at his feet. Then he glanced in Jane's direction. “Miss Foster,” he said in greeting.

When Jane didn't respond, Darcy rolled her eyes and said, “She's enthralled by science. The data got her. When that happens, she doesn't hear very well.”

“Oh. Well, uh, I came by to tell you I'm back and… Look, Darcy, I don't really think… I mean, you were just joking about pretending like you and I are seeing each other, right?”

“I wasn’t joking, but I thought it’d just convince you that a fling would set the rumors of you being some lovelorn, heartbroken dude to rest. And then you'd just go have sex with some lucky gal.”

“Who’s heartbroken?” Jane asked, glancing over at Darcy and Steve. “Oh, hello, Steve.”

“Miss Foster,” he replied with a nod.

“Doctor,” Darcy stage-whispered.

He ducked his head in embarrassment. “Doctor Foster.”

Jane waved away the title with her hand. “Jane is fine. I hope you brought Darcy more of that gum. It’s keeping her away from the cigarettes.”

He smiled warmly at her. “Yes, ma’am, I did.”

Jane glanced at the papers scattered on her desk as if she’d dismissed Darcy and Steve. Just when Darcy opened her mouth to break the awkward silence, Jane looked up and said, “Have you, umm… Have you heard from Thor lately?”

Steve frowned. “No, Doctor Foster… Jane. I’m sorry; I haven’t.”

“Still looking for those stones, I guess,” Jane mumbled.

“Last I heard,” Steve agreed.

Her lips thinned into an unhappy grimace, and she turned her attention back to the desk. It was a classic dismissal from Darcy’s occasionally socially inept boss. Steve glanced over to Darcy, furrowing his brows in silent question.

“She’s done with you. You offer no additional information of interest to her big, fat brain,” Darcy replied.

Steve dropped his voice and whispered, “I’m just sorry I couldn’t give her more information on Thor. We’ve been hoping for contact as well. We could really use his help.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Darcy told him. She rolled her chair away from her desk and stood up. “So, where were we? Oh, you were just about to tell me that you made a terrible mistake last week when you asked me to play your fake girlfriend. ”

“I… I didn’t say that.”

“You were going to,” she replied, an amused grin on her lips and her brows raised.

Steve tilted his head back and sighed before he returned his gaze to her and said, “It’s a silly idea and it wouldn’t work.”

“Oh, it’d work. It’d get everybody to stop whispering about poor wittle Stevie.”

He gave her a little smile. “You didn’t say anything about it not being silly.”

Darcy shrugged. “That’s because it’s a silly idea. I’ll have you know that silly ideas are often the best ideas.”

This made him chuckle, shooting her a sidelong glance that would have flooded her panties if they weren’t already like a swamp after seeing his ass in those pants when he’d turned to look at Jane. The man was a work of art, and it was a little disconcerting to realize that his personality was just as appealing as the physical package.

“You almost sound like you want to do this fake dating thing,” Steve said, putting his hands in his pocket.

“Hey, it’s boring as hell on this compound. I’m game for spicing life up. It’s not like hanging out with you and stirring up some shit would be a burden.” Darcy walked around her desk and leaned back into it as she waited for his response.

Steve turned away from her and looked up at the ceiling. The way his broad shoulders tapered down into his waist and the curve of his ass made her wish she could snap a picture for later viewing. After a moment Steve turned around and leveled his eyes on her. He looked distant, guarded. “Okay, so let’s do it then.”

“Do it?” Darcy asked, eyes going wide and libido kicking into overdrive.

“Let’s start some rumors.”

“Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she agreed, covering up the fact that her thoughts had gone to sexy times with Steve Rogers before she realized he was just asking her to be his fake girlfriend. And, really, being his fake girlfriend was better than being his distant acquaintance. Definitely a step the fuck up from where she’d been, which was a slightly creepy stalker who secretly thought of him when spending quality time with Gonzo, her most beloved vibrator.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah!” Darcy replied. “I think I suggested dinner when you got back. Have you eaten?”

His eyes widened. “You mean now?”

“What better time than the present to… what were we calling it? Oh, control the narrative.”

He gave her a warm smile that made her feel squishy all the way down to her red-painted toes. “Okay,” he agreed. “You hungry?”

“Definitely,” Darcy agreed, swiping one of the new packets of gum off the desk and slipping it into the pocket of her cardigan.

 

* * *

 

 

She could feel the eyes on her when they walked into the cafeteria. Steve Rogers did not eat in what he called the mess hall often, so his presence would have caused a few whispers all on its own. However, him opening the door for Darcy and walking in behind her had caused heads to turn.

“What can I get you?” Steve asked softly, tilting his head down to get his mouth closer to her ear.

“Huh?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Food. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll get our food.”

“Oh. _Oh_. So you’re playing it like you’re a gentleman. Nice.”

He stopped walking and turned to her. “I’m, uh, not sure I can play it any other way. Isn’t this called being polite? Am I overdoing it?”

She smiled up at him and said, “No. You’re perfect. I’ll have what you’re having.”

Steve smiled back at her, but the grin faded when he lifted his gaze and took in the room. She wondered if his super-duper hearing allowed him to hear all the whispers that were going on right now. There were probably more than a few questions about what Captain America was doing with that girl.

“Hey,” she said, pulling his eyes back to her face. “Let ‘em talk. You’re in charge.”

This made him chuckle and give her a quick nod of his head before turning on his heel and walking toward the food line. Darcy sat down at an empty table near her and swept her eyes over the room. The cafeteria served food from six in the morning until eight at night. They didn’t kick you out at eight, but the small group of workers who manned the evening and night shift didn’t serve up food beyond what was left in the refrigerated case on the wall along the door. It held cold sandwiches, salads, and fruits. Things that were easy to grab and go, things that would keep for a day or two.

Most of the dinner rush happened around six o’clock, so coming in a few minutes after seven meant the place wasn’t packed or loud. That being said, it wasn’t exactly a ghost town. A group of three men and one woman from the technical department were seated to her left, and Darcy heard one of them say her name in answer to a whispered question about who Captain America came in with.

The question stirred mixed emotions in her. It was irritating because she felt somewhat protective of Steve, and she didn’t like all these people nosing in his business. However, at the same time, she was pleased that her plan was working so quickly. She decided to be optimistic and go with the sense of accomplishment as she smirked and tapped the tabletop with her fingertips.

Steve was holding one tray and waiting on the other when she felt eyes on her. It didn’t take long to realize it was Sam Wilson. Sam was pretty awesome by Darcy’s standards. He wasn’t around enough for her to actually feel like he was a friend, but he was much more personable and friendly than most of the ex-military muscle that Fury recruited. There had been a time when Darcy wondered if he’d ask her out. When he didn’t, she’d convinced herself that she just needed to work up a little more nerve to flip the script and ask his fine ass out. And she’d very nearly made a fool of herself right before walking around the corner one afternoon and catching Sam Wilson standing close enough to Natasha Romanov for it to be pretty clear that those two knew each other _very_ well. And if she hadn’t taken the hint, then Sam’s hand on the woman’s hip was pretty damn telling.

It was just a blip on Darcy’s radar. A brief moment of rising anticipation and then a little crash of disappointment that an avenue that looked promising was closed to her. She hadn’t really given much thought to it in the past few months until that moment when she looked up and realized Sam was giving her an assessing look. It wasn’t exactly friendly, but it wasn’t hostile either. He and Steve were close, so she was getting the best friend once-over. She smiled and held up the index finger of her right hand, curling it to finger-wave at him. Sam’s mouth twitched, one corner of it lifting before he nodded at her and turned back to the conversation with the two other men at his table. They were all in black gear, probably fresh from the mission they’d been on with Steve.

She didn’t have any more time to consider Sam’s reaction to Steve walking into the room with her because Steve had just slipped into the chair across the table. He looked anxious as he sat her tray down. Roasted chicken, rice, and vegetables. Not her preferred dinner, but that’s what you get when you tell Captain America that you’ll have what he’s having. She knew the kitchen made lasagna on Wednesday, and she’d been thinking about it on and off that day, but whatever. Chicken and rice it was. Steve Rogers sitting across from her was totally worth it.

“Here,” Steve said, moving a chocolate chip muffin off his plate and onto hers. “I grabbed it on my way over.”

“For me?” she asked, peeling away the paper on the bottom and biting into the muffin.

Steve’s worried expression disappeared for a moment as he smiled at her. “You should eat your dinner before you have your dessert.”

Darcy licked chocolate off one of her fingers as she continued to devour the muffin. “I have very little willpower,” she told him around a mouth of deliciousness. “Also, don’t be such a goody-two-shoes. Live a little.”

His blue eyes were so kind it was startling. While she was all about admiring Steve Rogers for the perfect specimen he was, she wasn’t exactly one of the Cap groupies that had read every book and article on him. That didn’t mean she was ignorant to his past and the things he’d been through. In her previous interactions—all two of them—with him, he’d been business-like and distant. She’d just assumed that was what happened to you when you get shot full of serum and turned into a super soldier. Being able to experience his personality and the warmth in his eyes when he looked at her sometimes was almost disorienting. First impressions weren’t always accurate.

Steve used a knife and fork to cut up one of the chicken breasts on his tray. He had four. The man obviously needed to eat. “Sam is watching us,” he said softly to Darcy, eyes on his tray as he shifted the pile of brown rice around with his fork.

“Yep,” she agreed, taking another bite of the muffin. “Does that bother you?”

He looked up at her. “Bother me?”

“Mmm, hmm.”

“Bother me how?” His brows were furrowed in thought.

She shrugged and popped the last piece of the muffin in her mouth. “Well, that he’s watching you and up in your biz. Or that you feel guilty that he might think you didn’t tell him about you and me going to dinner. Or maybe that you’re with me at all.”

“That I’m with you at all?” He looked confused as hell, and it was like looking at a sweet golden retriever who had no idea what was going on.

Darcy waved away his question with a flick of her hand and tucked the muffin wrapper underneath her tray. She wasn’t in the mood to start examining her self-worth issues with Steve Rogers as everyone they worked with watched it happen. “Nothing,” she finally told him. “Is he gonna rag you for not telling him that you were on the hunt for a date? I mean, you two seem pretty close. Didn’t you say he was trying to set you up with someone?”

Steve nodded as he speared a piece of chicken with his fork. “Sam is… Well, he’s a great guy.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “A close friend. Can’t say that about many people, it seems.”

“Side effect of saving the world, I guess,” she said, half-teasing him.

He ducked his head down and shoveled some food into his mouth. “I don’t know about that, Darcy.”

“You don’t know about you saving the world?”

“Yeah.”

She scoffed and picked her fork up. “Dude, don’t be so modest.”

“I don’t do it alone.”

Darcy rolled her eyes at the way he side-stepped accepting the credit for what he’d done. It wasn’t really surprising, though. He seemed like the type to sacrifice himself for the greater good and expect nothing for it. What a way to live, she thought. Always giving and never taking.

“So, you, uh, know Thor?”

“Yep. He and my boss were banging for a while.”

“Ah, I see.” He looked uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” Darcy offered. “I have a fast mouth and a slow brain. Shit comes out before I can run them through the socially acceptable filter. Yes, he and Jane were an item for a bit.”

“What happened?”

Shrugging, she cut a piece off her chicken breast. “I’m not entirely sure. Jane isn’t very chatty when it comes to Thor. I’m pretty sure she gave him an ultimatum and it backfired.”

“An ultimatum on what?”

“Oh, you know, the usual with you hero types,” she said. After taking a bite of rice and chicken she added, “I think it was along the lines of telling him that he needed to slow the fuck down and spend some time with her instead of jumping in front of every proverbial bullet or she was moving on with her life.”

Steve’s eyes were on her, but his mind seemed very far away. The crease between his brows and the way he held his mouth told her that what she’d said hadn’t sat well with him. “Hmm,” he hummed before finally looking down at his plate, practically shoving his face in it as he scooped two large forkfuls of rice into his mouth.

“He went to look for some stones,” she told Steve.

“Infinity Stones,” he clarified, looking up at her again.

“Those are the ones. They’re, like, a big, fat deal, right?”

Steve nodded. “Yes. A world-saving deal.”

“Hmm,” Darcy replied, digging into her food again. “Things are tough all over, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

She sighed. “Well, I mean, I get where Jane is coming from. It’s tough to sit on the sidelines and hope that someone you care about is going to come home in one piece. But,” she said, pointing the tines of her fork at him, “it’s probably really fucking tough to know something needs to be done and feeling like if you don’t do it, then people are going to die because maybe you’re the only one who _can_ do it.”

For a moment he just looked at her with that distant look in his eyes that was reserved for business, missions, acquaintances. Suddenly, that coldness melted into a warmth tinged with sadness, and he said, “It _is_ tough all over.”

They fell into silence as they ate. After a couple long minutes, Darcy said, “I think she regrets it.”

“What?”

“Jane. I think she regrets making him choose.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Why do you think that?”

“Just a feeling I have. I mean, I think at first she probably felt like he didn't choose her. But… I don't know. Maybe he did.”

Steve put his fork down. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I'm not exactly the most noted romantic, but… He went off to save the world by finding those stones. He went off to save her world.”

Steve blinked at her and his lips parted to respond but nothing came out. He looked stricken. Finally, he said, “I think you're probably right, Darcy.”

“This seems like it's hitting home for you,” she said.

He shrugged and dropped his gaze to his plate. “Maybe a bit. My situation was a little different.”

When he didn't continue, Darcy cleared her throat and said, “Say no more. Let's switch the subject.”

“It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just that…”

She smiled at him. “It's just that you don't want to tell me. And, hey, you don't have to. That's personal shit.”

“You’re a very forgiving person,” Steve told her in a soft voice.

“Side effect of not having your shit together. You tend not to judge people too hard. Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and all that jazz.”

He smiled back at her. “I think you have your shit together.”

“Just wait until you actually get to know me. I'm a hot mess. I had a cereal for dinner last night. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I probably had something sensible like Wheaties or Raisin Bran. I had sugary Cap’n Crunch. Actually, it was the generic brand, not even the real thing. Also, I haven't washed my hair in two days. I fake this adult shit very well.”

“You’re fine, Darcy.”

“Yeah, well, if I'd known this morning that I would be going on a fake date with… what’s your fake name? Nomad?”

He shook his head, but his lips were lifted in a smile.

“Yeah, if I'd known about this little fake date, I would have at least washed my hair.”

“You're perfect,” he insisted. Those two words made her feel like swooning in her seat was a viable option even with all the attention on them.

“Wait,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him, “did you just say ‘shit’?”

“What?” he asked, looking confused.

“You said I had my shit together. You cursed. Is Captain America allowed to curse?”

Her question made him chuckle and drop his gaze in a show of bashfulness. “Captain America always cursed, but I ain’t that anymore.”

“Always, huh? I thought you were the goody-two-shoes boy-next-door who always brings dates home before curfew and eats his veggies.”

“You think I can’t be that and say shit now and then?” he asked, looking up at her again.

Now it was her turn to laugh. “Okay, okay, point taken. You know, I _do_ like a man with a dirty mouth.”

He shifted in his seat and gave a breathy laugh that seemed more than a little uncomfortable. As usual, her big mouth got ahead of her rambling brain. Before she could recover or dig the hole deeper, movement on her right caught her attention. Sam had pulled a chair over, turning it so the back was nearest to the table. He straddled the seat and settled down, resting his forearms on the back of the chair.

“Hey, Darcy. Steve,” he said, nodding at both of them. “Am I interrupting?”

When Steve didn’t respond, Darcy smiled at him and said, “In fact, you are.”

This just made Sam laugh. “So, what’s going on here?” he asked.

“Darcy and I were having dinner,” Steve replied, his face serious. The man was definitely not a spy. What he’d said was the truth, but he still looked guilty as hell.

“Dinner,” Sam repeated. “That’s nice.”

“What do you want, Sam?” Steve asked.

“Oh, just saying hi. I was a little surprised to see you walk in with Darcy, seeing as how you weren’t interested in me setting you up on a date,” Sam told Steve.

Steve frowned before opening his mouth. Instead of saying anything, he snapped it shut. Darcy knew exactly what almost just happened. He’d almost spilled the beans and told Sam that they weren’t on a date. While Darcy suspected Sam would be just fine with perpetuating this little ruse if he knew the truth of it, she wasn’t sure if Steve wanted him in on the plan. Finally, Steve said, “I wasn’t interested because I’ve started seeing Darcy.”

God, he was so damn stiff, and not in the good, sexy way. Lies were awkward as they fell from his lips, even if they were white ones that didn’t hurt anyone.

Sam smiled, flashing his white teeth. “I should have told you it was Darcy I was trying to set you up with, then.”

“What?” The question came out of her mouth and Steve’s simultaneously.

Sam looked altogether too smug and pleased with himself. "Yeah, thought you two might hit it off. His expression sobered a bit, and he turned his head to look fully at Steve. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always liked Sharon. I thought she was good for you, but... You gotta admit, you two never could get on the same page."

The warmth had bled out of Steve's eyes. Darcy watched as he retreated inward. It was almost painful to watch someone pack themselves away like that. “Why Darcy?” he asked.

Sam leaned back and lifted his brows. "You tell me. Looks like you decided on her yourself there, Steve."

Steve opened his mouth, but nothing came out. She felt horrible for him. He was quick on his feet when it came to combat. These conversations seemed to take it out of him. Darcy cleared her throat to bring Sam’s attention back to her. "I'd like to hear you tell it, Sam,” she said.

Sam was all smiles again. "I was thinking of who around these parts knows what Steve does, understands his life and what he has to do. Who around here is the opposite of Sharon Carter? And I came up with the name Darcy Lewis.”

"You forgot the part about how cute l am,” she told him in a dry voice.

Leaning over toward Steve, Sam stage-whispered, “Also, she’s pretty hot.”

"Damn right, I am," Darcy grumbled.

"Better keep your hands off my girl, Sam," Steve said, his blue eyes trained on his friend. Darcy couldn't tell if there was mischief in them or if it was irritation, but he’d snapped out of the discomfort from a moment ago to join in on the teasing.

"Your girl, huh? You move fast, Rogers. This is the first time I've seen you two together."

“We're discrete,“ Darcy said. "And you'd do well to mind your own business, _WiIson_.”

Sam chuckled and raised his brows at her. "Or what, Darcy?”

"Or I'll let it slip that you and Natasha Romanov are doing the dirty."

Steve made a choking noise and turned his head away from Sam. Sam, for all his teasing, was looking like a fish out of water as his mouth opened and closed.

”And how do you know this?” Sam finally asked.

Darcy felt the air behind her move before a hand landed lightly on her shoulder. Blonde hair moved into her field of vision as the woman she’d just mentioned leaned over her and said under her breath, "Because she saw you trying to kiss me in the hallway a few months ago, _Sam_."

Sam pursed his lips together and glanced away from Natasha.

"Oopsie daisy,” Darcy told him before leaning away from Natasha so she could see the other woman's face. "Thank you for not killing me for catching you in the act, super spy assassin.”

Natasha smiled and it looked predatory. ”Thank you for not saying anything about it, Darcy.” The blonde trained her eyes on Steve. "You know if you seem like you're trying so hard, it doesn’t look believable, right?"

"What?” Steve asked, a defensive tone to his voice.

“Don’t act like you’ve never had dinner with a girl if you want them to buy that you’re dating her,” she whispered.

"He is," Sam said.

"Sam,” Natasha replied, "get with the program.”

His eyes widened as he looked between Steve and Darcy. "Wait,” he murmured, "are you two faking it?” When Steve didn’t reply, Sam groaned. ”Oh, come on! I think you two would be great together. I wasn’t joking when I said Darcy was the one I wanted to set you up with.”

“Sam,” Natasha said, “leave them alone.” Before she slipped away, she turned her head to look at Darcy. Their faces were inches apart. “I’m sorry I never said anything before, Darcy, but thank you for the discretion with what you saw back in November.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Darcy agreed. “No problem.” Natasha squeezed her shoulder before stepping back and walking out the door of the cafeteria.

Sam was watching Steve, not Natasha. “Sorry for not saying something about me and her,” he told Steve.

Steve chuckled and shook his head at his friend. “You think I didn’t know about it?”

“What? She told you?”

This just made Steve chuckle again. “No. You two are more obvious than you know.”

“Well, on that note, I’ll leave you and Darcy to your _date_ ,” Sam said, pushing away from the table and standing up.

Darcy finished up her rice as Steve watched Sam exit out the same door Natasha had.

“Did you really know about them?” she asked.

Steve shrugged. “I didn’t _know_ , but I suspected. I almost caught them like you did.”

“You’d think a super spy would be slicker about her little love affair.”

“Well, she’s dealing with Sam. He wears his heart on his sleeve. I don’t know that he can keep that under wraps for long if it actually means something to him.”

“Interesting,” Darcy said.

Steve pushed the remainder of his food around on his plate. “Do I… Am I being awkward? Do you think people can see we’re faking this?”

He was pretty awkward and didn’t have much room to talk about Sam wearing his heart on his sleeve. She was sure Steve did the exact same thing, perhaps to an even greater extent. However, she couldn’t bring herself to actually tell him that. “Nah, you’re fine. They’ll just think you’re nervous since you’re having dinner with such an awesome chick.”

He left out a soft, breathy laugh. “Well, I am.”

“Aww, Stevie-poo, that’s sweet.”

He conjured up a stern look that she could tell was just for show. “We’re gonna have to have a talk about these pet names, sweetheart.”

The way he said sweetheart made her little heart go thud-thud-thud in her chest. Trying not to let his comment fluster her, she took a swig from the bottle of water he’d given her.

“Come on,” he said. “I'll walk you back to the lab. Thanks for having dinner with me.”


	4. Chapter 4

 

> _“If I ever saw a girl that I needed in this world, you are the one for me.” - The Delphonics (La-La Means I Love You)_

The next day she was stopped by no less than five people on her way to the lab. They all had different ways of subtly or not-so-subtly asking what was up with her and Steve Rogers. She smiled and shrugged the questions off by saying they’d just had dinner together and she didn't know what all the fuss was about.

Jane dragged herself into the lab an hour after Darcy had arrived. She looked like she needed about five more hours of sleep, and that was probably because she'd been up most of the night sifting through that pile of data. Darcy had already booted up the three computers the astrophysicist used almost every day, so Jane settled into her chair with a cup of coffee from the cafeteria.

“Rude,” Darcy said to her friend.

Jane looked over at her and frowned. “What?”

“Did you bring coffee for the entire class?”

Jane sighed and grabbed an empty cup off her desk. Darcy watched as she poured half her coffee into it and stood up to offer the other half to Darcy.

“Jane, I was kidding.”

She waved Darcy's comment off. “I'm a bad friend.”

“You're a good friend, but bad at remembering shit. Not your fault that brains are only so big and yours is stuffed full of shit about stars and universes and black holes and all that crazy complicated stuff. No room for remembering to bring your best bud some coffee.”

Jane gave Darcy a smile before settling down with her own cup. “So,” Jane said, “what's going on with you and Steve Rogers?”

“Why? What did you hear?”

“Uh, a range of options.”

Grinning, Darcy said, “Like what?”

Jane sipped her coffee as she scrolled through her email. “Umm, well, from you had dinner together all the way to you're having sex with him in the quinjet after he gets back from missions.”

“ _Interesting_ ,” Darcy replied.

“I know you aren't having sex with him. I'd have heard about it by now.”

“Jane, your ass was sitting right there last night when he asked me to dinner.”

Darcy watched her friend's forehead crease as she thought back, trying to remember. “Oh, wait. Yeah,” Jane said.

“Yeah what?”

“I remember now. I was blocking you out at the time. Didn't you talk him into fake dating you?”

“Oh my god,” Darcy said, “you _do_ low-key listen when I think you're ignoring me. Unbelievable.”

Jane shot her a sidelong glance as she took a sip of her coffee. “I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I think the research deserves my attention.”

“Research smee-search,” Darcy grumbled. The coffee was too hot and too bitter. You’d think the cafeteria would spring for better coffee or better machines. She drank it only for the caffeine, not the taste. One day when she was back in the States, she’d drink coffee exclusively because good coffee would be so plentiful.

“Why are you pretending to date Steve Rogers?”

“Jane. For real? Why are you asking such a stupid question? I mean, have you _seen_ him?”

“But why pretending? Why not for real?”

“Because I’m not in Captain America’s league, and he got dumped a couple months ago.”

Jane scrunched her face up. “Oh, was that… was he dating Sharon? The blonde?”

“You are so out of touch with day-to-day life, Jane. It’s kinda endearing. Yes, he was with Sharon.”

“And you don’t want to be the rebound,” Jane replied, more a statement than a question.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Nooooo, I’d love to be the rebound. I just don’t think he’s looking for one. Honestly, he still seems pretty sad about the whole thing. I feel bad for him.”

“What happened?”

“Not sure. He doesn’t really seem like he wants to talk about it.”

Jane was silent for a long moment, her fingers poised over her keyboard like she was planning to type out a response to an email. Finally, she turned her head over to look at Darcy. “It’s hard… dating… being with someone who does what he does.”

Tilting her head to the side, Darcy said, “I know, Janie. I remember what you went through with Thor.”

Sniffing and turning back to the computer screen, Jane said, “Maybe that’s why Sharon ended things.”

“Maybe,” Darcy conceded, “but I’m not dating him. Not for real. He just seems sad and people are talking behind his back about him and the woes of his love life. I thought it’d be fun to pretend with him to get them to back off. I mean, the rumor mill around here is vicious.”

“You like him.”

“What’s there not to like?” she asked.

Jane glanced over with a stern look on her face. “Better be careful. He doesn’t seem like the type who knows how to pretend.”

Instead of turning her friend’s warning over in her head, Darcy just laughed and said, “Oh, don’t I know it. He’s so awkward that sometimes I'm pretty sure no one would ever believe we're dating.”

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy was holding a flashlight and magnifying glass for Jane so the other woman could solder something when the door to the lab opened. She dared a glance over her shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t knock the magnifier into Jane’s steady hand and also hoping that their visitor was Steve Rogers.

“Darcy!” Jane muttered, lifting her elbow up to lift Darcy’s arm. “Hold still.”

Her wish was granted when she saw Steve in all his bearded and muscled glory standing in the doorway. “Am I interrupting?” he asked.

“Nope,” Darcy replied with a smile.

He sat down in front of her desk, which meant he had a very complete and possibly unflattering view of her ass as she leaned over a huddled Jane from a few yards away.

Darcy strained to look over her shoulder at him. “So, how’s the fallout from dinner yesterday?”

She couldn’t really see his face well enough to make out the expression, but he sounded a bit amused when he said, “A lot of whispering behind my back.” After a brief pause, he added, “You’d be surprised at how many people forget about the super soldier thing and assume I can’t hear them.”

“Oh, yeah?” she asked, hoping his super eyesight wasn't looking at her super ass. “What are they saying?”

She saw him shrug out of the corner of her eye. “I’d rather not say. Some are… crude.”

This made her laugh.

“Darcy, hold it steady. I’m almost done,” Jane snapped.

“So, they’re speculating as to whether we’re banging,” Darcy said.

Jane sighed. “Okay, done.”

Gratefully, Darcy stood up and turned around to face the hottest man on the face of the planet. “I don’t know exactly what that means, but I’m guessing you’ve got the right idea,” he admitted, looking up at her as she walked toward her desk. He seemed genuinely happy to see her, and that gave Darcy a heady rush.

“Banging,” Darcy said, sliding into her chair across the desk. “Doing the sex. Jane said she heard we were doing it in the quinjet after missions.”

“Darcy, really,” Jane said, admonishing her.

Steve’s gaze was on the floor, but she could see the way one corner of his mouth lifted into a shy smile. “Yes,” he agreed, “they think that or are curious.” When he looked back up at her, his expression sobered. “I don’t know about this, Darcy. I’m not comfortable with people talking about you in that way.”

Her breath hitched for a moment as his comment hit her. It stung. “Don’t like being lumped in with the likes of me?” she asked, trying to smile.

His brows drew together. “What? Oh, no… No, no, Darcy. I… they shouldn’t be talking about _you_ like that. It’s rude, unflattering. You’re… great. I…” Sighing, Steve ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up the way she liked it. “I’m not upset with them thinking you and I… you know. I just don’t want them hurting you by saying things like that.”

The man was too sweet, too perfect, too everything. “Hey, I’ve got no problem with anybody thinking I’m sleeping in _your_ bed.”

Steve gave a nervous chuckle. “I’ll, uh, take that as a compliment.”

“As it was intended,” Darcy agreed. “Did you come here to fake breakup our fake relationship?”

“Uh, well… no.” He shifted in his seat and glanced at the clock on the wall. “I came to see if you wanted to get dinner together… again.”

She leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, “Phase two of our nefarious plan to play every gullible soul who indulges in gossip?”

Steve’s laugh was breathy. “Yeah, something like that.”

“You gotta at least act like you’re interested or everyone will start seeing through it like Natasha and her super-spy self.”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Finally, he said, “Yeah, okay. You hungry?”

“Starving,” Darcy said, standing. “Jane, you want anything?”

Jane looked up from her workbench. “What? Food? No.”

“Sure?”

“I’ll get something later. Can you check back with me after dinner? I might need help with hooking this up.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Yeppers.” Once the door of the lab had shut behind them, she wrapped the fingers of one hand around Steve’s perfect right bicep. “Is this okay?” she asked.

He smiled down at her. “Yeah, it’s… good. Fine.”

“Convincing?” she whispered as they approached two of the military-types standing in the hallway.

This made him laugh. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

“Sir,” one of the men said to Steve with a nod of his head.

Steve nodded back at him but kept moving. Darcy smiled to herself and said, “They totally bought it.”

“Thanks to you,” he murmured.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve got her a burger and fries. He got himself three burgers and two fries. The burgers weren’t that great in these parts, so it wasn’t like he was eating them for enjoyment. It made Darcy wonder how much fuel it took to keep his sexy machine running. Two to three times the normal amount, obviously.

She washed down the first bite of burger with a gulp of water and chased it with fries. The fries were probably one of the best things the cafeteria had to offer. “Hey, _boyfriend_ ,” she said, pointing a fry at him. “You can’t spend dinner looking at your plate or people will think you don’t like me.”

His gaze flicked up to her. “This kinda stuff makes me nervous. I don’t like it.”

“Why are you doing it, then?”

He brought two fries to his mouth and bit them in half as he thought about her question. When he finally did speak, his voice was soft and pitched only for her ears. “I wanted to get them off my ass. I was tired of them treating me like I was Sharon’s charity case. And I like spending time with you.”

That last reason made her little heart pitter patter in her chest. Instead of asking him to tell her more about how much he enjoyed her company, she focused on his first reason. “Steve, I don’t think anyone actually believes you were ever a charity case. And if you’ve heard someone say it, then that’s just because they’re jealous as fuck of you.”

His smile was filled with warmth and so were his eyes when he looked back at her. “That’s nice of you to say.”

“What?” Darcy asked. “I don’t get in trouble for saying fuck?”

“You think I got through my years in the army without saying that?”

Raising her brows, she leaned forward and said, “Tell me more, Captain Rogers.”

His chuckle drew glances from those seated near them in the cafeteria. “Nah, the, uh, interesting stuff is already in the history books.”

“You think I wanna hear about the shit they put in those stuffy history books from junior high school? Hell, no.”

With a grin, he nodded at her. “It’s not fit for a lady’s ears.”

“Oh, boy. You got a lot to learn, Steve. You actually think I’m a lady. My socks are two different colors, and I’m not one hundred percent sure I put on deodorant this morning.” Pausing she tilted her head at him. “You’d tell me if I was stinky, right?”

“Darcy…”

Her eyes widened. “Oh my god. _Do_ I stink?”

He laughed and gave her that shy glance before dropping his eyes. “No, you’re fine. You smell great.”

“I probably smell like computers and pens and astronomy.”

“Gardenia,” Steve corrected.

Darcy took a bite of her burger and swiped a couple fries through the pile of ketchup on her plate before saying, “That's the standard issue shampoo for ya. We all probably smell like gardenia.”

Steve didn't respond. Instead, he focused on his plate and finished eating his last burger. “How's the not smoking going?”

“Good as it can be. I'd be back to my old ways if it weren't for you and that nicotine gum.”

“Glad it’s helping, he said, wiping his fingers on a napkin. Her eyes slid to his unfinished fries. “Do you want to share my fries?” Steve asked.

Her burger was half-eaten, but her fries were gone. What an observant, disgustingly perfect gentleman he was. Darcy wasn’t used to that. She was used to guys who blew all their concentration load on video games. She shifted under the weight of his gaze and reminded herself that this was fake. Fake, fake, fake. Not for real. Pretend. “Yes, I thought you’d never ask,” she said, snatching three fries and swiping them through the pool of ketchup on her plate.

Steve scooted his tray between them and folded his forearms on the table as he watched her eat. His blue eyes were so focused, so intense.

“You’re making me nervous,” she admitted, grabbing more fries.

“I’m taking your advice and looking like I'm interested.”

“Oh, yeah? I’m getting the full charming treatment?”

Steve smiled softly at her and it warmed her from the tip of her nose right down to the tips of her toes. And it wasn’t that hot flash of heat that told her getting naked would be a good idea; it was more a cozy warmth that seeped into her skin and made her feel giddy. “Oh, I don’t know about the full treatment. I’m not trying that hard,” he said.

“Hey, it’s looking pretty good from here, even if you’re half-assing it.”

“The full treatment involves me tripping over my words and looking like an awkward idiot who doesn’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”

“I don’t know, Steve. That sounds pretty damn endearing. Women love when gorgeous guys like you get all flustered for ‘em.” After pausing for a moment, she said, “Something to consider when you’ve moved on from this relationship.”

He pursed his lips and nodded once. “Yeah,” Steve agreed, “something to consider.”

“So,” Darcy said, stealing more of his fries, “How do you shut out the chatter with hearing as good as yours?”

“I just… tune it out, I guess.”

“Exactly how good is your hearing? Have you heard me through the lab door?”

He shrugged and took a fry. A single one. He was letting her eat most of them. What a sweet asshole, Darcy thought. “If you’re talking and I’m just outside the door.”

“And here?”

“It’s a little noisy in here around dinnertime.”

“If I point out someone, could you tell me what they’re saying?”

He glanced around. “Did you have someone in mind?”

“No, I was just curious about you and your superpowers.”

“I don’t know about them being superpowers,” he replied, looking a little embarrassed.

Darcy knocked back a drink from her bottle of water. “What do you call them, then?”

Steve glanced away for a moment and said, “Enhancements, I guess. I don’t really talk about it.”

“You’re a man of action.”

This made him laugh. “Yeah, I guess. I go where they tell me and do the mission.”

She gave him a look that said she didn’t believe his modest statement for one hot second. “Well, that’s not what I heard. Didn’t you take down SHIELD when Pierce and HYDRA infiltrated them?”

Steve raised his brows.

“What? I was a poli sci major. When the former Secretary of Defense and current member of the Security Council is fingered as a HYDRA operative, it’s a big fucking deal. I was interested and might have read more than a few articles from dubious sources on what went down.”

“Then you know why I disobeyed orders.”

She held up her hands, palms out toward him. “Hey, I’m not questioning you. Just saying that you’ve got a brain inside that perfect head, and you’re not fooling me when you pull the oh-golly-gee-I-just-follow-orders act.”

Steve smiled and gave her a nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Also, I took a lot of history courses. And _that_ means I know my ninth grade American history textbook was wrong about you following all the orders, you rebel.”

“You’re making me sound like a bad guy now,” he teased.

Darcy snagged some more fries. “Nah. I’m guessing that’s why Fury would serve you dinner in a maid’s outfit if you asked him. You’re an asset because you’ve got the brawn and the brains.”

“That’s not a pretty picture, Darcy,” he said, cringing at the thought of Fury in a flirty little skirt.

“I bet he’s got killer legs.”

“Darcy,” Steve warned. “Do I need to tell the Director that my girl is more interested in him?”

The way he called her his girl made Darcy’s insides turn to liquid for a moment. “No way,” she said, recovering quickly. “I think I’m on his shit list.”

“Not since you clued him into the—uh, what’d you call them—loose lips around here.”

“Yeah, well, that was more you than me.” There were three more fries on his plate, but he wasn’t touching them. Darcy knew he was intentionally leaving them for her because he was a nice guy. It made her wonder what happened between him and Sharon. She wanted to ask but knew he was a private person who wasn’t too keen on answering questions about himself, especially ones about something that personal. She reached out and took the fries.

“Thanks for having dinner with me and… for helping with my... “ He smiled as he tried to come up with the right word. “For helping with my public relations situation.”

Darcy had more than a few failings, most of which involved keeping her mouth shut and not cursing in front of company. One thing she was quite good at, though, was reading people. And it was her opinion that Steve was lingering. He didn’t really want to get up and end dinner. It was a bit surprising since she thought they were just doing this to shake those lingering rumors about poor Steve Rogers and his broken heart. Maybe he really was lonely and looking for a friend.

“Hey,” she said, kicking the leg of his chair, “wanna stir everyone up and keep them guessing?”

Steve looked back at her with those clear, blue eyes. Half the time he looked like the sweetest guy ever and half the time she thought the beard and the way those pants hugged his ass made him look dangerous as fuck. “And how would we do that?”

She grinned and extended her leg, easily sliding it between his and rubbing her leg against the inside seam of his pants along his calf.

Steve’s entire body tensed, and for a moment she thought she had miscalculated his boundaries. He’d seemed pretty open to her. Not so open that she could lay a kiss on his lips, but open enough that holding hands or playing footsie would be okay. In the end, it looked like she was right after all when he exhaled and loosened up.

Steve leaned across the table and whispered, “What are you doing?”

“Flirting,” she said. Kicking off her ballet flat, she slipped her toes up underneath the cuff of his pants. The skin of his leg was warm even through the black, opaque tights she wore.

His Adam’s apple moved up his neck and then down as he swallowed. “Oh,” Steve said, “flirting. Okay.”

“Okay?” she asked.

He exhaled a nervous laugh as if he was trying to shake off unwanted anxiety. “Yeah.”

“You don’t look okay.”

“Well, it ain’t every day I got a pretty woman’s foot up the leg of my pants in the middle of the mess hall.”

Damn if that comment didn’t kick her heart rate up. Pretty. He’d called her pretty and he looked all flustered and out-of-sorts. It was delicious. Fake, pretend, not real, Darcy reminded herself. Keep it in your pants. He was just trying to play the part.

“Well, you might want to look like you’re enjoying it instead of looking like you’re two seconds from running out of here.”

He extended his opposite leg and pressed it firmly against her unoccupied one. “Yeah, okay,” he repeated, his eyes never leaving her face.

“You still look like you have a serious case of anxiety.”

“I’m not an actor,” Steve replied.

She smiled. “Just forget about these lookie-loos watching you and think about something else. Something sexy.”

He swallowed hard again. “Sexy?”

“Yeah, look at me like we’re about to leave here and I’m gonna give you the best BJ of your life as soon as we walk through the door of your apartment.”

“Oh.” His eyes were wide and his kissable lips were parted just slightly. “Okay,” he agreed. For a moment, she thought maybe he was agreeing to just that, that maybe the look in his eyes really was desire. Then she wondered if maybe he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Wait, do you know what a BJ is? It’s–”

“Darcy,” he interrupted, “I know what it is.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “How? I don’t think that was the slang back in the forties.”

“I’ve been out of the ice a few years, you know,” he said.

“And?”

The skin she could see above his full beard reddened. “Well, I, uh, I’ve had a few ladies offer. The first lady–-well, she was, uh, very explicit about what it entailed when I thought it was a drink.”

Darcy threw her head back and let out a full laugh. “Oh man, Steve. That’s… wow. Did you take her up on the offer when you realized it wasn't a drink she wanted to put in her mouth?”

He shook his head as he tried to suppress the smile on his face. “No. I did _not_.”

“Why not?”

“Darcy,” he said, a warning in his voice that this was a line of discussion he was unwilling to go down.

She grinned, her mischievous side unwilling to let go of the way she was making him squirm. “What? More of a giver than a taker?”

“What does that…” She saw the moment her question clicked in his head. There was an unmistakable flash of white-hot heat in his eyes before he licked his lips. Judging from their previous interactions, the way he ran his tongue over his bottom lip like that was not a smooth strategy, but just unconscious and unthinking—a mere reaction to thinking about what she’d asked him. “Yeah,” he said with a slightly embarrassed smirk before dropping his gaze to the table. “I’m a giver.”

He’s just flirting for show, she tried to remind herself. Most of the eyes in the cafeteria were on them. People were glancing up from their food, watching the two of them laugh and tease each other. It was what Darcy had been trying to accomplish. Things had just gotten away from her when Steve decided he was going to play, too. Now she was clenching her thighs together and thinking about Steve Rogers admitting he liked to eat pussy. And admitting that shit to her face in the middle of a very crowded cafeteria.

God, his beard would be hell on her inner thighs, but if the way he threw himself into his work was any indication, he’d have her coming against his mouth in no time. It probably wouldn’t even take long enough for that wiry beard to chafe her sensitive skin.

No, Darcy, she reminded herself. We’re just faking. Just joking. Just putting on for the crowd.

She looked up at him and raised her brows. “Good to know your preferences, Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying my foray into Shieldshock. :-)


	5. Chapter 5

 

> _“Another day, another night. I long to hold you tight ‘cause I’m so lonely. Baby, I need your loving.” - The Four Tops (Baby I Need Your Loving)_

Steve disappeared the next day. She’d been hopeful that he’d come around and rescue her from science and a singularly-minded Jane. Unfortunately, no such rescue arrived. When she went to the snack machine to get a candy bar, she heard the buzz that half the field operatives had been deployed on a mission. Bummer. If half the operatives were out, then Steve was certainly with them.

She dug her phone out of her pocket and looked at the display. No messages. Wrinkling her nose, she sighed. They weren't dating. They were faking. And he didn’t have to tell her where he was going and what he was doing. In fact, there was a good chance he wasn’t even allowed to say anything about the mission. Fury had a tight grip on intel now that he’d heard her say gossip was a problem at the Agency’s headquarters.

When Darcy got back to the lab, the man himself was standing next to the door and talking to Jane. His eyepatch was distracting during a conversation, and Darcy wondered why Fury didn’t get a glass eye. It wasn’t like the funds couldn’t be found in the Agency’s budget, which seemed neverending at times. The budget was something she’d given more than a little thought to over the past few months. What deep pockets were they pulling from if they weren’t affiliated with any country’s government?

“Hey, boss,” Darcy said when Fury’s eyes turned to see who had opened the door.

“Miss Lewis,” he replied with a curt nod before turning his attention back to Jane.

They were discussing Jane’s research into wormholes. Jane had spent years working on a way to bridge the distance between Earth and wherever. Darcy knew the work had been spurred on by Jane’s relationship with Thor. When that relationship had ended, Jane continued the research, but it had twisted into something a little different. Now Jane wasn’t so intent on finding a way to travel to Asgard. She was putting her effort into a device that would take them other places. Basically, an interstellar slingshot that could be used for exploration or even defensive purposes.

When Darcy first realized what Jane was doing, she’d made a joke about them flinging Thor’s ass across the galaxy for breaking Jane’s heart. Jane hadn’t found the joke very funny. That was the point at which Darcy realized Jane wasn’t really over Thor even if she seemed just fine. It probably took more than a couple years to get over having the God of Thunder as your boyfriend.

The work was tedious and had been mostly unsuccessful. They’d tested one prototype about six months ago. The apple they’d thrown into the rainbow stream shooting into the sky hadn’t disappeared; it has exploded into what was more like applesauce than apple chunks. Darcy had been forced to wash her hair twice to get it clean that day, and she’d been standing half a football field away with Jane.

“This takes time,” Jane told Fury. “If you have someone who can help, then by all means bring them in here. I’m not protective of my work.”

“Doctor Foster, you know we don’t have anyone like you, but we need movement on this. What do you need from the Agency?” Fury said, hands on his hips and looking surly as usual.

Jane mimicked his posture, probably without even realizing it. “Time. I need time. We’re working on a second prototype.”

“Will more people help?”

“No,” Jane snapped. “Time will help.” Darcy admired her friend when she went toe-to-toe with these alpha military guys. Eventually, they would all back down when faced with Jane on a mission to protect her beloved science.

Fury scowled. “And what if we don’t have time, Doctor Foster? What then?”

Jane threw her hands out to her sides. “I don’t know. There is only so much I can do.”

“Can the device be weaponized? It destroyed the apple you threw into it.”

“I’m not building a death ray, Director Fury.”

“But it could be used for that,” he insisted in a statement, not a question.

Darcy could tell his comment had rubbed Jane the wrong way. “Don’t you hijack my work and turn it into a stupid gun, _Director_.”

“We don’t know the effect it would have on a human or… alien or whatever,” Darcy offered from her spot by her desk.

“Exactly,” Jane replied, pointing her finger at Fury.

“We’ll see,” he replied, turning on his heel and leaving the lab. The door slammed shut behind him.

“Asshole,” Jane muttered, running a hand through her hair. “Un-fucking-believable.”

Darcy frowned. “Half the operatives were sent out earlier today. Something is going on. Maybe they need help and they’re desperate.”

“A larger body—something more than the apple—could destabilize the stream,” Jane said, slumping down into her chair.

“Meaning?” Darcy asked.

“Meaning the stream might weaken and cut off or it might explode and kill everything around it.”

Darcy grimaced. “Yikes.”

“Right,” Jane agreed. “Can you pull up the data from that day?”

“The day we tested the thing? We’ve gone over it a million times.”

Jane sighed. “One more time. Let’s try one more time.”

 

* * *

 

 

As it turned out, Jane was right. Jane was also pissed.

Fury had taken the device from the lab while Jane and Darcy were sleeping. He’d placed it beneath a cow and hit the activation switch. Thankfully, none of the boobs that Fury had recruited to carry out the action had died, not even the poor cow from a diary thirty miles south.

And even though Jane was furious, she’d still watched the video of the experiment multiple times. The rainbow stream shot up out of the small box and hit the cow’s udders. The animal let out a cry of distress and jumped away. The stream flickered and dissipated, leaving a smoking box that was no longer of any use. The cow was being treated for third degree burns, but would live.

Darcy, for her part, was disgusted with what had happened behind their backs as much as Jane was. Just when she decided it was appropriate for her to climb up on her high horse, though, she remembered the Dark Elf soldiers that had nearly killed them and those massive beasts the evil beings brought with them that smashed anything in their paths. When those memories surfaced, Darcy found it hard to blame Fury for his desperation and impatience. She and Jane were in the dark about the current state of affairs. Maybe some wild shit was going down somewhere and Steve was trying to stop it. The thought made her sick to her stomach.

“Hey,” Darcy said as she walked up to the armory’s window. A man named Marcus worked there, and Darcy had decided Marcus was cool, but also a little dumb.

“Hey,” Marcus replied. “How’s it goin’?”

“Oh, just wondering when we’re expecting our people back,” Darcy said, leaning on the ledge of the open window.

Marcus grinned. “Oh, you missin’ your boyfriend, huh?”

Darcy almost opened her mouth to ask him what boyfriend he was talking about, but she caught herself at the last minute. Steve. He was talking about Steve, of course. “You know it,” she said, trying to sound casual and disappointed that she wasn’t getting Steve lovin’. It wasn’t hard because it was the truth.

“Ain’t heard nothing. They sent out another team last night,” he replied.

Darcy felt despair flicker in the back of her mind as real concern over his safety settled in. She knew him now, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t worried over him, especially when she considered Fury’s push for Jane to finish her work and the additional teams being deployed.

“Thanks,” Darcy muttered, stepping backward and turning to walk back down the hall.

“You lookin’ for a little attention while he’s gone, you let me know.”

Darcy turned back to look at Marcus. She was sure shock was written all over her face. “ _What_?” she asked.

Marcus just shrugged and smiled.

She’d known fake-dating Steve might result in other guys developing more of an interest in her than they’d had before. Even though she’d known that, Marcus’ comment was still so much of a surprise, she floundered to find a response for a long moment. He stood there, a smirk on his face like he knew she was considering it.

“Hey,” Darcy finally said, “fuck you, asshole. You’re not half the man he is. Why would I go from gourmet to dog food?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said as his smile fell. “You just wait, sweetheart. He’s gone so much you’ll get lonely.”

“Not that lonely,” she snapped before turning on her heel and marching down the hall. What a dick, she thought, a sour expression on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

Three days later found her outside with a piece of spearmint nicotine gum and a bad attitude. Jane was feeling the pressure from Fury, so Darcy was spending her days with a snappy little astrophysicist who had very little patience. She'd be lying of she said that Steve’s whereabouts and safety weren't a concern. It was just another reason she felt like she was simmering in a pot of anxiety and barely controlled mayhem.

The air, which had been stagnant for days, suddenly started whipping around her. It was a familiar feeling. She looked up and saw the quinjet descend from the blue sky. A similar aircraft that served as a transport landed right next to it on the roof of the main building.

Darcy's stomach flipped over as she wondered what happened and how Steve was. Trying to act casual, she stood and moved toward the door to go inside. The commotion above was considerable, and she heard calls for a medical team.

She jerked open the door and pulled the edges of her oversized, zip-up hoodie tighter around her body. It was seasonably warm outside, but the air conditioning in the building was out of control. The clamor from the roof had reached the hall, and teams of support staff were headed up to see how they could assist the returning operatives.

Darcy kept to the wall as she walked down the hallway where the medical bay was. You weren't allowed beyond the double doors without the proper credentials or an escort. Pulling a pack of chocolate candies from her pocket, she absentmindedly ate them while she strained to hear what was going on. There was a freight elevator that went from the roof down to medical for speed.

After twenty long minutes, one of the doors pushed open and a very tired Sam Wilson walked out, still in his gear, wings and all.

“Sam,” she said, pushing off the wall to get his attention.

He sighed and stopped to look at her. “Hey, Darcy.”

“Is everyone okay?”

“Not yet.”

“Steve?” she asked. Her heart felt like it was in her throat.

“He's fine.”

“Natasha?” she pressed.

“Also fine. Three members of her team were ambushed. Docs are working on stabilizing them.” He looked down the hall and added, “Hey, I've gotta go find her. Not sure where she took off to, but…”

“Go,” Darcy agreed.

Sam gave her an exhausted smile. “He's in there with them. If you stick around, you can probably catch him in a few.”

“Thanks.”

“This for your fake dating?” he asked.

Darcy shook her head. “No. This is for our real weird friendship.”

“Good,” Sam said before striding down the hall.

Darcy leaned back against the beige concrete block wall and closed her eyes, listening for the door. Her hearing wasn't nearly as good as Steve Roger's because she completely missed the whoosh of the door opening. Instead, a voice saying her name made her push off the wall and snap her eyes open.

“Hey, you,” she said, taking in Steve in his intimidating battle gear.

He looked worse for the wear, but he was intact and breathing, which is probably all anyone could ask for these days. His hair was tangled and pushed back from his face as an afterthought. Dust had settled into his beard on the left side of his face, and right above it on his cheeks were streaks of dirt. One of his fingerless gloves was on, but the other was nowhere to be found.

“I’m here as a friend,” she said, “not a…” Darcy dropped her voice, “a faker.”

His surprised expression with the wide eyes and parted lips slipped into something more aware, something kinder. “I'm okay,” he told her. “Nat’s team got hit.”

“I know. Sam told me on his way to find her.”

Steve rested his hands on his hips. The stance accentuated his wide shoulders and slim waist. “How long you been waiting here?”

“Not long. How are they?”

“They'll live.”

“Good,” she said, wrapping her arms around her midsection. “And her?”

“She’ll be okay. That kind of stuff eats at you, but… she’s got Sam, so…”

“And you? How are you? Really?”

“I'll live, too.” He held out his arms to either side. “Could use a shower and about twenty hours of sleep.”

She gave him a strained smile. “Well, I'll leave you to it then. Just wanted to make sure you weren't hurt.”

As soon as she turned away, he cleared his throat and said, “Darcy.”

She turned back around and looked at him expectantly.

“I ain't gonna be able to sleep. You wanna grab something to eat in a couple hours?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Not in the cafeteria. Not… for show.”

She smiled. “Got ya. As friends.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “friends.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he said, “I'll meet you over by the mechanic’s garage on the east lawn. Okay?”

She didn't know why they were meeting out there, but Darcy wasn't about to tell him no. “Okay,” she agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

He was in a pair of gray sweatpants that rode low on his hips. As she walked down the middle of the single-lane road that connected the main entrance of the facility to the garage, she could see him sitting on the bench outside a place that looked more like a small warehouse. The walk from the main building only took ten minutes, and it was pleasant enough as the sun dipped low on the horizon. If it had been windy, then the weather might have been a bit too cold for just a long-sleeve tee with jeans, even in the middle of July. She was used to the oppressive heat that took over the States during the summer. However, today the breeze was non-existent and the still air felt comforting. Or maybe knowing that Steve was okay was what comforted her.

He stood up as she approached, and she thought if he lifted his arms then his white T-shirt would expose the drawstring waistband of the pants as it cut across his abdomen. Hell, it might even give her a glimpse of his muscles. She licked her lips and tried to push the thought from her mind. It was lascivious and unwelcome in a moment like this.

As she got closer, she could see Steve’s freshly washed hair was slicked back and there was a jagged cut down his right arm. It started underneath his shirt sleeve and ended at his elbow. “What happened to your arm?” she asked as she came to a stop a few yards from him.

He looked down at his left arm, then glanced over to his right as if he’d forgotten about the angry red wound there. “Cut it,” he said.

“Shouldn’t you get that looked at?”

He lifted it up and looked again. “Nah, it’s okay. It’ll be gone in an hour.”

Darcy stepped up and took a closer look. She could see the muscle underneath the skin. If she was a bit more delicate, she’d have felt sick to her stomach. “Steve, it looks bad. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Yeah, little bit. It’s fine, Darcy.” He gestured to the bench. “Do you wanna sit down?”

She moved around him and settled herself on one end of the small bench. He sat down on the other, his legs spread wide and his right knee only inches from her’s. “It’s quiet out here,” she said.

Steve leaned his head back against the building behind them. “Yeah. They close up around six o’clock. I come out here sometimes.”

She shifted on the bench. Steve rolled his head over to look at her. His eyes appeared tired and haunted. “Tough mission,” she asked.

Smiling sadly, he said, “Yeah.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

This time when he smiled, it reached his blue eyes. “Not really. Can we talk about you?”

She smiled and stuck her tongue out. “Not my fav subject, but yeah. What do you wanna know?”

“Where you from?”

“Here and there. My dad was career military, so we moved around a lot.”

“What branch?”

“Airforce.”

“Is he…” Steve looked a little pained to ask the question.

“Alive?” she asked. He nodded. “Yeah, he’s still alive and well. Lives in California, actually. He spends most days judging my every move even if I’m a daddy’s girl.”

Steve laughed softly. “So, is he how you got involved in… all this?” He waved his hand in the air to indicate the compound around them.

“Hell no. This was all an accident.”

Steve picked up two sandwiches from the bench on the other side of him and said, “Turkey and provolone or ham and cheddar?”

“You pick.”

“Lady’s choice,” he replied.

Darcy snorted. “You’re pushing it there, Steve. I’m pretty sure the argument could be made that I’m definitely not a lady.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that, Ms. Lewis,” he replied with a wink. “You look like one to me.”

Was Steve fucking Rogers flirting with her? No way. He was exhausted and out of his right mind, probably not even thinking about what was coming out of his mouth. “Mix ‘em up behind your back,” she told him, pointing at the sandwiches in his hands.

Steve shifted to face her and did as he was told. She lightly touched his left forearm. It was like a rock. The man had a body like a machine. Guys like Steve did _not_ talk to girls like her.

Smiling, he presented her with the turkey sandwich. “Good choice,” he said before passing her a bottle of water as well. “Sorry, I should have gotten chips or something, but… it’s been a long day.”

“Don’t sweat it. I get the impression it might have been a long _week_.”

He chuckled as he unwrapped his sandwich. “Yeah, it really has.” After pausing a moment, he said, “So, tell me how you accidentally ended up here.”

Darcy bit into the cold sandwich, chewed, and swallowed before she answered him. “I was in grad school at Culver and took an internship with Jane. We were all in New Mexico when Thor… uh, well, landed, I guess. Fell, maybe? Jane and I found him in the middle of the desert. One thing leads to another and suddenly I’m neck-deep in some serious shit. Other worlds and bridges that span universes and Dark Elves with pet monster worms. Crazy shit.”

Steve drank half his water in one go. “It didn’t scare you off? Make you want to go back to school and forget it all?”

She snorted. “No way in hell am I forgetting that stuff. Besides, I’d rather be involved and know what’s up than be in the dark. You know? Like, how can I go back to taking a class on international policies of northeast Asia when I know _this_ is happening?”

He thought about her answer before he asked, “It doesn't scare you?”

“Well, yeah. It scares me, but… Better to be in the know than not. I really hate surprises.”

“So, no surprise birthday parties for you?”

Darcy shook her head. “No way. That sounds like a nightmare.”

They sat in silence for a moment, eating and finishing off their bottles of water. For someone who held a considerable amount of power and shouldered more responsibility than almost anyone on the planet, he was surprisingly easy to talk to and be alone with. There was something soothing and quiet about Steve Rogers, something sweet even if he looked like a rough-sex wet dream. She swallowed and tried to push down the thoughts of the way he would look lying naked on the sheets of his bed. Or her bed. Bad girl, Darcy, she thought. Do not objectify the perfectly polite man beside you.

“So, you were one of the first people here to meet Thor?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She chuckled and wadded up her sandwich wrapper before leaning back against the building behind them. “I tazed him.”

This made Steve’s eyes widen before he started laughing. The laugh was from his belly and sounded genuine. “That was you?”

“Sounds like you might have heard the story from his point of view.”

Steve passed a hand through his wet hair. “Yeah, he told me. Made it sound like some fierce warrior woman electrocuted him.”

“Hey, you saying I’m not some fierce warrior?”

One corner of his mouth was lifted in the sweet smile. “Never. It makes so much sense now that I know it was you.”

She sighed and said, “Do you think he’s okay?”

Steve’s mirth dwindled away quickly, and he replied, “I don’t know. We haven’t heard from him in a long time. It’s been… years. Time works differently out there; that’s what he always told us. So… I don’t know. Maybe it’s only been weeks for him. You know better than me, Darcy.”

“I’m no astrophysicist.”

“You’re closer than I am to it. You’re smart; I’m sure you’ve picked up a few things.”

“Aren’t you just full of compliments tonight.”

“My filters are gone. I’m too tired.”

She looked over at him. “Tired, not sleepy.”

Steve turned his head so he could meet her gaze. “Exactly.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. I’d help if I could.”

“You do help, Darcy.”

She wanted to reach over and put her hand on his where it was resting on the bench between them. He seemed to enjoy his privacy and space, though, so she was worried about crossing lines that she might not even be able to see. “Well, I’m an excellent fake girlfriend, I’ll give you that,” she said, trying to inject some lightness to the conversation.

“You really are,” he agreed.

A breeze whipped around the building and rustled the tree to their right. Darcy shivered, feeling the temperature now that the sun had set and the sky was darkening. The nights here weren’t like summer nights in California or even Virginia. They were on the chilly side and darker than any other place she’d been without the light pollution from the larger cities.

Steve pushed himself up with a soft grunt. “Come on,” he said, extending a hand down to her. “I’ll walk you back to your room. We can stir up some talk.”

Darcy grinned as she slipped her hand into his warmer one. “Now, Steve, you wouldn’t be enjoying feeding the rumor mill, would you?”

“Mmm,” he said, pulling her to her feet. His strength was startling. “I just might.”

Laughing softly and letting a very real feeling of giddiness take over her mind, Darcy wrapped her arms around his bicep and pressed herself against his body. “How’s this? We look pretty cozy, yeah?”

His arm tensed for a moment as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his sweats. “Very cozy. I’ll never hear the end of it from Sam.”

They started walking down the narrow road toward the main building. “Was he serious about trying to set us up?”

“I think he was,” Steve said softly.

“Weird,” she mumbled, laying her head on his arm. She didn’t miss the fact that he was slowing and shortening his steps so she could keep up with his pace.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

Remembering the gash down his arm, she stopped and pulled away to look at the flawless skin there. “Wait, I thought this was the arm that was injured.”

“It was. I heal fast.”

“Well, I… didn’t realize it was that fast.”

“It’s pretty fast.”

Darcy trailed her fingertips from the cuff of his T-shirt down to the inside of his elbow. It raised goosebumps on his arm. “Does that tickle?”

“Something like that,” he murmured.

She wrapped her arms around his and pressed herself into his body again. He made her feel like she was a tiny thing next to him. He also made her feel safe, something difficult to find since the mess a few years back.

“Marcus in the weapons locker said something to me a few days ago about you,” she said as they began walking again.

Steve’s eyes were focused on the road in front of them. “Oh, yeah?”

“He was trying to get your scraps.”

“My what?” he asked.

Darcy squeezed his bicep. “Nothing.”

Steve stopped walking as he looked down at her. “No, I'd like to know.”

“He was trying to get me to go back to his place with him.”

The muscles of Steve's arm tightened, bunching up as he said, “I see.”

“I shouldn't have said anything,” she replied, looking up at his face in the dim twilight.

“Did you… Did you call yourself my scraps?”

Laughing softly, Darcy rolled her eyes. “It's just an expression, Steve.”

“It’s a terrible one, Darcy. You're… not that.”

“I know, I know.”

His expression was unreadable and his body was still strung tight when he said, “We don't need to continue this… ruse if you want to date–”

“Nope,” Darcy said, patting his forearm with his hand. “Fake dating you is far preferable to real dating him or any other guy on this base.”

“I don't know about that,” he murmured under his breath.

She flashed him a quick smile. “Oh, I do. You're way better.”

Steve relaxed into her again and let her lead him down the road again. They were almost halfway to the main building. “Thanks for tonight,” he told her in a soft voice.

“My pleasure, really.” There were two black SUVs in front of the building. People were getting out to go inside, probably a group that had visited the nearest town that evening. Someone caught sight of the way Darcy was holding onto Steve and said something to another. Before she knew it, everyone was chattering as they all went inside.

“Mission accomplished?” Darcy asked Steve.

He glanced down into her eyes. “Sounds that way.”

“What did they say?”

“Just stuff about us. That we've been seeing each other. That you look pretty comfortable with me. That I’m moving on finally.”

She squeezed his arm. “Does that bother you?”

He looked down at her again and smiled, flashing his teeth for a moment in the quickly darkening evening. “Not a bit. It don't bother you, does it, Darcy?”

“Nope. Not a bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you lovely people for leaving me kind comments that make me happy and fuel my desire to write. I <3 all of you.


	6. Chapter 6

> _“Tried to take control of the love. Love took control of me. ‘Cause you lose all thoughts, sense of time, and have a change of mind.” - Teddy Pendergrass (Love TKO)_

She picked her phone up and put it back down for what must have been the tenth time in the past hour.

“What are you doing?” Jane asked.

“Having a crisis,” Darcy replied.

Jane raised her brows and gave Darcy the look that said she was acting stupid. “Is this a Steve Rogers crisis?”

“Obviously,” Darcy snapped.

“I told you to be careful.”

“Jane, I didn't know he was such a fucking nice guy. I just thought I was gonna get a front row seat to the beefcake show when all this started.”

“And now: feelings,” Jane replied with unconcerned pleasure at calling it from the beginning.

Darcy scowled. “They aren't feelings.”

Jane shot her the look again.

“Fine,” Darcy grumbled, “they are _light_ feelings. Friendship feelings. I mean, I can't be expected to be his fake girlfriend if I'm not his friend, right? I need to at least like him to pull this shit off.”

Jane pursed her lips together before directing her gaze back to the monitor. “Mmm, hmm,” she replied without much conviction.

“He had a rough mission last week. I just want to make sure he's okay.”

“Did you text him?”

Darcy picked her phone up again. “No. But I was thinking about it.” When Jane didn't reply, Darcy said, “Come on, it's just a text. It isn't like I'm confessing my undying love or something.”

“You can do what you want.”

“Okay, okay. Out with it. What do you really wanna say, Jane?”

For a long moment, Jane was still and silent, her eyes focused on the computer screen. Finally, she cleared her throat and said, “Look, I just don't want you getting hurt. Guys like him—they hurt people. Maybe they don't mean to, maybe it isn't on purpose. I mean, I get that. But the fact is that people get hurt.” Jane dropped her gaze to the desk. “People get left behind to deal with the fallout. People get left to be sick with worry. People get their lives stolen and put in this terrible limbo.”

Darcy opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Finally, she said, “I'm sorry, Janie,” in what might have passed for a croak. “He was a dumb asshole for leaving you.”

Jane looked up, the tears threatening to fall over her bottom lids. “I knew it would happen,” Jane said, her tone of voice much harsher than what the sadness in her face would have belied. “It was just a matter of time. He had a choice—me or… that. All that. I knew it wouldn’t be me.”

Darcy stood up and walked over to sit on the edge of Jane’s desk. “So why’d you give him the ultimatum?”

Shaking her head, Jane said, “I don’t know. I guess deep down I knew that it needed to end and that would end it.”

“Why end it?”

Jane swiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand and gave a laugh filled with frustration and sadness. “Because I thought I’d be able to stop caring about him and worrying about him.”

“And?” Darcy asked, already knowing Jane’s answer, but asking anyway.

“Nope,” Jane replied. “I’m still worried.” She doubled over in her chair and wrapped her arms around her knees. “It’s so bad it physically hurts sometimes,” Jane whispered before a sob escaped her throat.

“Janie,” Darcy said, slipping off the desk and wrapping her arms around her friend. She held on tight as Jane cried.

“I wish I knew,” Jane said. “I wish I knew if he was okay or… not. I feel like my life isn’t mine until I know.”

After smoothing Jane’s hair back, Darcy rested her chin on the crown of the woman’s head. “Even if you know he’s okay now, that doesn’t mean you won’t always worry about him. I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t know it was this hard for you. I mean, I knew it was hard, but not…”

“Consuming,” Jane said, finishing Darcy’s sentence.

“How can I help? _Can_ I help?”

Jane sat up, and Darcy let go of her hold on the smaller woman. Her face was tear-streaked; her nose was red. “You help, Dar. You do.”

“Hey,” Darcy said, squeezing Jane’s arm as she squatted in front of her chair, “don’t bottle it up. I’m here if you want to talk.”

Jane gave a weak smile and chuckled as she wiped the tears from her face. “I just want to get this fucking thing working so Fury doesn’t try to blow up any more cows. I’d call Erik, but he said he wanted out.”

Three years ago, Erik had met a woman. A year later, they’d gotten hitched and popped out a kid. It was curious to watch a man who had been so driven by his career—his only love—find something else that stole his attention. Shortly after the birth of the little girl, he’d moved to Northern England with his family. He’d said that he wanted to enjoy his time with them. He’d also said he’d passed on all his knowledge to Jane, who he believed to be more than capable of carrying on his research.

Darcy wasn’t so sure about Erik’s decision, especially knowing what he knew about things that went on in the shadows or behind closed doors. It was hard to bow out when you knew that threats to the well-being of cities and countries and even the world were sometimes just around the corner. She couldn’t speak for anyone else, but why _wouldn’t_ you want to be in the know?

“I’ll call him,” Darcy said.

“Darcy, we need to respect his wishes.”

“Fuck that. Let’s just get his opinion. We’re having problems generating energy, right?”

Jane nodded, sniffing and wiping her eyes again. Darcy could see the fire seeping back into her eyes as she started thinking about the project. Science always brought Jane back to life.

“He can flap his lips from England; he doesn’t have to come here to help. Let’s see what he has to say.”

 

* * *

 

 

Erik had agreed to review the research. He’d actually offered to fly into Helsinki and meet Jane and Darcy in a hotel there. He was not an employee of the Agency and, therefore, not permitted on the base located a couple hours north. Instead of going to those lengths, Darcy had walked the thumb drive over to the nerds in the tech department and had someone help her encrypt the data so it could be sent electronically. It wasn’t exactly mission plans, but it was proprietary research Jane had spent years gathering and sifting through. It didn’t need to fall into the wrong hands, and no one needed to know what kind of work was being done, not even the United States government.

Darcy didn’t hear from Steve that day, and that was pretty damn disappointing. Despite the conversation with Jane that morning, she still couldn’t seem to shake her desire to spend time with him. It wasn’t like she was in love or anything, though. He was just nice to stare at and offered good conversation. Some days Darcy felt stir crazy when she only interacted with Jane. She’d never been some social butterfly, but she needed to get out of the lab more. If Steve was the catalyst to get her out and about, then she’d take what she could get.

The next day she was on her way to the cafeteria to get a granola bar for breakfast when she turned the corner and almost walked right into Steve Rogers’ broad and perfectly chiseled chest.

“Woah,” she said, grabbing onto his arm to steady herself.

“Hey, Darcy,” he said softly as he cupped her elbow.

She opened her mouth to tell him that she missed hearing from him yesterday, but noticed the watchful eyes from a group of people by the entrance to the cafeteria. Instead of being Darcy, Steve’s friend, she switched gears to Darcy, Steve’s girlfriend.

“Hey, you,” she said, sliding her free hand over his chest and tipping her chin up just slightly when she caught his eye and tried to wordlessly tell him that they had an audience. Steve was not a stupid man; he understood what she was about within a second.

“Missed you last night,” he said, pitching his voice a bit louder so their conversation could be heard.

She smiled up at him and hoped that the twist in her gut at his words and how much she wished they were honest wasn’t showing on her face. “Not as much as I missed you.”

“Can I get you something to eat? Maybe we can go somewhere private?”

Darcy chuckled. “Trying to get me alone, are ya?”

Steve slipped his arm around her waist and directed her toward the cafeteria. “I’m always trying to get you alone, sweetheart.”

There went her panties. And there went her heart, too. Maybe even her mind. How in the world was any woman going to say no to Steve Rogers and all that genuine sweet-talking goodness coming out of that perfect mouth? Well, maybe it wasn’t genuine when it came to her and their fake relationship, but a girl could dream.

“I was just going to get a granola bar and open up the lab. Jane does the late night thing, so I’ve got the place to myself for a bit until she wakes up.”

“A granola bar it is,” he replied.

She watched him disappear into the cafeteria while she waited outside, missing the warmth of his body after having it pressed against her only a moment before. When he appeared with the granola bar in hand, he gave the assembled crowd, who had taken to eying Darcy like she was a creature in a zoo, a stern look. They all scattered as he walked back toward her.

“Granola bar,” Steve said, handing it over.

She slipped it in the pocket of her hoodie and wrapped one of her arms around his left one. “Thanks, babe. Let’s go check out the lab.”

Steve followed her obediently, only pulling away so he could open the door to the lab for her.

Darcy flipped on the lights. “I’m starting to get weird looks,” she told him, scooting her ass up onto her desk.

Sitting down in the chair directly in front of her, close enough that her legs were dangling between his spread knees, he said, “We can stop if it bothers you, Darcy.”

“No, it doesn’t bother me. It’s funny. You really riled them up with all that talk about missing me last night.”

He smiled up at her. “Yeah, they seem to have drawn some conclusions about you and me.”

“Did you hear them?”

“I did.”

“And are you going to share with the class, Mr. Rogers?”

This made him chuckle. “I think you know exactly what they said, Darcy.”

She pushed out her lower lip in a pout. “Yeah, but I like to see you squirm when I ask you to repeat it.” She kicked her right foot out and tapped the inside of his knee. “Hey, how’s the team? Did the people who got hurt pull through?”

He sighed and nodded. “Yeah, one just took a bullet to the leg, so that wasn’t too bad. The other two were more serious, but they’ll be okay. Out of commission for a few weeks, though.”

“How are you?”

“Fine.”

She tilted her head and gave him the look she sent Jane’s way when the other woman was making excuses. “Fine,” Darcy repeated.

This made him give her a weary little smile. “Tired, but not sleepy,” he said, repeating her words from a couple days before. When Darcy didn’t respond, he shifted in the chair and folded his hands over his stomach. He was in his full gear for missions and looking mighty fine. “I feel like I’m fighting a never-ending battle,” Steve admitted. “Or one that can’t be won.”

“No progress?” she asked.

“I knock ‘em down and they pop back up.”

“Them?”

He shrugged. “Different groups, regimes, rogue governments, terrorists.”

“This project gives me frustration, too. ”

“The… uh…” Steve chuckled and waved a hand in the air. “I don’t know what you call it.”

Darcy considered his comment and then said, “Huh. You know, I don’t know either. We just call it the thing. The project.” After another moment’s consideration, she added, “The slingshot.”

“The slingshot,” Steve said. “I like it.”

“Obviously your security clearance is higher than mine since you know about it.”

He shrugged and looked down at the floor in front of him. When he looked back up, he said, “You don't know how important you are, do you?”

Scoffing, Darcy said, “Me? I'm not important.”

“You are,” Steve disagreed. “I think if you used your badge, you'd find that you can get pretty much anywhere in this facility.” Tilting his head to the side, he added, “Never occurred to you to try, did it?”

Darcy opened her mouth, but it took a long moment before she could find a response. “No, never did. I thought that first night we spoke you said I wasn't supposed to know where you were.”

“Did some checking on you recently. Fury is putting a lot of eggs in your and Jane's basket.”

She wrinkled up her nose. “Please, Steve, pile a little more pressure on me. I just can't get enough.”

“I have all the confidence in the world in you, Darcy,” he replied with a kind smile.

“Something tells me that Fury doesn't have us here working on the slingshot so we can go explore Asgard or even flip some terrorist ass over tea kettle into the great unknown.”

“Yeah, I think we can handle the run of the mill terrorists. It’s the bigger stuff that’s a problem. If there is one thing I’ve learned recently it is that our planet is a very small dot in a very big sea. There’s a lot of stuff out there and some of it ain’t so friendly. Do you remember when that Chitauri army invaded New York City?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t there, but that shit was all over the news.”

Steve's expression was grave. “Well, we need a contingency plan for something like that. If we can cut off the head of an army, then my job is easier and we lose fewer people.”

“So, what's coming?”

“Something, anything. Better to be ready for it. For now, we're just trying to… keep the peace here. It feels… impossible some days.”

Darcy kicked her leg out again and tapped his knee with her toe. “Nobody could do a better job than you, Cap.”

He gave her a weak smile. “Thanks.”

“And for the record, Fury’s eggs are in Jane's basket, not mine. I don't have a basket. I'm just here to get Pop Tarts and make coffee and fake date.”

This comment infused his smile with something like pleasure. “Not the way I hear it told, but I do appreciate the fake dating.”

“Do you? Sometimes I wonder if you just feel trapped.”

He shook his head. “Sometimes I just want people to leave me be.” Holding up a hand, he said, “Not you. I enjoy spending time with you. I just wish…” Steve sighed.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. If I have to have a fake girl, then… well, I'm glad it's you. You're my first choice.”

It was bittersweet. His first choice. His first _fake_ choice. Better than nothing, she supposed. Better than being nameless and just another face in the hallway. Maybe. Sometimes when she thought about where this fake relationship was headed, she got sick to her stomach. Jane was probably right; she was destined for heartache in the end.

“Thanks, fake boyfriend,” she said, covering her thoughts up with a wide, toothy smile. “You're my first fake choice, too.”

His smile was slight, almost not there at all. “What about you? You always make a joke about it, but… Do you really want to do this?”

“What? Help Jane make a crazy device that flips someone out into space? There’s no better use of my time.”

This made him chuckle. “Well, I guess that’s good to hear. I was talking about us, though. Does it bother you when people talk?”

“I stopped caring what people say about me a long time ago.”

“A long time ago? You’re so young.”

“Hey, dude, I’m almost the big three-oh. Don’t pull the grandpa card on me. I know you’re technically an old fogy, but you’re really… what, like, thirty-five or something? Your time on ice doesn’t count.”

Steve looked up at her with steady eyes. “Yeah, you’re close.”

“I stopped caring about what people thought of me when I was seventeen.”

This made him smile again. “Sounds like you got a story to tell me about that.”

Darcy shifted on the desk and kicked her foot out to tap his knee again. “You really wanna hear my boring stories?”

“Can’t think of anything I want more.”

Either he was the sweetest guy ever or the smoothest motherfucker on the planet, Darcy thought. She was betting it was more the former and less of the latter. “Well,” she said, curling her hands over the edge of the desk and leaning forward just a bit, “I was pretty shy when I was younger.”

“I find that hard to imagine.”

She hushed him with a flip of her hands and it made him settle further into his seat as he watched her with an amused look on his face. “ _Anyway_ ,” Darcy continued, “I was a shy kid, always afraid to answer questions in class, only a couple good friends. You know the type.”

“Mmm,” he agreed with a nod.

“By the time I got to high school, I had a group of friends that I’d known since I was twelve or younger. They all knew me, knew I wasn’t really assertive, knew that I would go along with whatever. They also knew I loved to read. So, one day our English teacher called me into her office and gave me a set of books from her personal collection. They were an older publication of classic novels that she was replacing.”

“That’s nice.”

“It was. So, I’ve got this box of books, and I’m feeling pretty good about myself because, like, of all the kids in the school, she picked _me_ to give those books to. I walk out into the parking lot to take them to the janky car my grandmother bought me when I turned sixteen, and I see my friends sitting around a tree next to the parking lot. I go over and tell them that Ms. Donovan gave me her old set of books.”

“Okay,” Steve said, nodding his head. He looked completely enthralled by this relatively silly peek into her past.

Darcy smiled and said, “Well, they get really interested and take the box from me. This guy named Andy and this girl named Liz both start pulling books out of the box, reading the titles and shit. And then they tell me that they’re taking some of them.”

Steve’s brows furrowed. “Taking them?”

“Yeah, like, they looked through the titles and decided those were the ones they wanted. I just stood there for a second because, hey, I don’t really stick up for myself. What can I do if they want to take them, right? Except, I started getting pissed as they put them in their backpacks. Like, those were given to _me_. Those were a gift to _me_ , not them. They didn’t even ask if I would share; they just assumed I wouldn’t say no because I never did.”

“What’d you do?” he asked.

Darcy exhaled a breath of laughter. “I told them to put the books back in the box, that they belonged to me. And, dude, it was such a rush to say that. It felt so _good_ , I can’t even describe it. After years of holding my tongue because I didn’t want to make anybody think I was disagreeable or difficult, it was such a fucking _pleasure_ to say, ‘Put the fucking books back in the box,’ and have six people look at me like I’d just grown a second head.”

Steve was smiling so wide his teeth were showing in the sea of his sexy-ass beard.

“Liz questioned me and when I repeated myself and told her that the books were a gift to me, she pulled them out of her bag and sat them beside the box. She looked irritated with me, and that was the point in my life when I realized that my friends were assholes. It was when I realized that I’d outgrown them or something, but hadn’t connected the dots until that moment.”

“And Andy?”

“Well, Andy tried to argue with me. He said I wouldn’t read them, that I couldn’t appreciate the ones he took like he could. I just remember telling him they were my books and to put them back in the box. And every time I said it, I felt stronger and better and _right_. Except, he didn’t see it that way, I guess. He actually took his backpack with the books inside and walked away. Dude, I was so mad, I saw red. And little old Darcy Lewis, who never contradicted a person in her life, actually chased him down.”

Steve chuckled and tilted his head at her. The warmth and pleasure practically radiated out of him. It was almost breathtaking to sit there in the face of his admiration. “What happened?” he asked.

“I pushed him down to the asphalt and kicked him. I tore his backpack off and dumped the books out. I think he was so shocked that he didn’t know what to say. He just laid there on the asphalt and watched me pile those books up—there were, like, six or seven—and carry them back to the box.” Darcy rolled her eyes. “All my friends were telling me how mean I was being and how Andy didn’t deserve it, but I knew I was right. I fucking _knew_ it without a doubt. They were bullies disguised as friends. They were privileged little shits who billed themselves as intellectuals who bucked convention, but they were just bullies who didn’t care about me.”

Steve’s face was more somber now. “So, what happened with your friends… after?”

“Oh, I dumped them. I spent the rest of the school year with earbuds in my ears and a book in front of my face in the library. I made two new friends my senior year, and then blew that popsicle stand when I went away to college.”

“Don’t seem like it’s hard for you to make friends now.”

Darcy raised a brow. “Uh, I’m living the workaholic life with Jane, who may be my friend, but is also my boss.”

“You made friends with Thor.”

“Thor is easy to make friends with. He’s like a puppy dog or something.”

Steve smiled up at her, warmth radiating from his eyes. “You made friends with me.”

This made her smile back. “Oh yeah, friend?”

“Mmm, hmm,” he said. His tongue rolled out to wet his lower lip. The sight made the muscles in her core tighten up. “What did you end up doing with the books? The ones your teacher gave you?”

Darcy pressed her lips together before saying, “Welllll, about that…”

“What about that?” Steve asked.

“I read two of them. When I left for school, my mom put them in storage. I don’t even know where they are now.”

Steve’s laughter was loud and could probably be heard in the hallway. He shook his head at her before standing up. “I gotta be at a briefing in fifteen,” he told her.

Still seated on the edge of the desk, she had to look up at him as he stood over her, his legs so very close to brushing against her knees. “Thanks for the morning chat,” she said.

“I should be thanking you. Nice to get my mind off work.”

“Funny, I thought work was your life.”

He stepped back and said, “Yeah, it is. And that's part of my problem.”

“You need to have fun, come see me.”

There was that genuine, warm smile that sent happy little tingles scattering through her body. “I will, Darcy. Have a good day.”


	7. Chapter 7

> _“Just let this feeling carry me on. Skip the beats with my heart, girl.” - The Spinners (Could It Be I’m Falling In Love)_

The next evening she was staring at an application to use a telescope in South America on her computer screen while Jane fussed over the data from the telescope in Green Bank. Over the years she'd been with Jane, she'd gotten surprisingly good at filling out requests to use the instruments remotely. Of late, she'd perfected lying on the applications, making it seem as if Jane was a professor at various universities. Most of the foundations and governments that funded the telescopes didn't bother to fact check the applications, and even if they did, Darcy had the trickery of the Agency behind her.

Darcy would request remote use of the equipment and download the data. Jane would work her magic and make sense of it. Sometimes they found something of use, but mostly it felt like an exercise in futility.

“Did you hear back from Erik?” she asked her friend.

Jane looked up. “No, but he needs time to go over my notes.”

Time. Sometimes it felt like it was all she had anymore. Sometimes it felt like it was slipping through her fingers. “We should call him tomorrow,” Darcy told Jane.

“We should leave him to interpret the work without our input, Darcy.” Jane glanced back at her laptop. “I heard a rumor that you and Steve were making out in the lab.”

Darcy grinned. “Yeah, a rumor is about as far as that goes.”

“So, you weren't.”

“Do I look like Steve sexiest-man-alive Rogers’ type?”

“I don't know. Not enough data,” Jane mumbled.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not. We were just having fun yesterday and stirring the pot.”

“You like him.”

“Fuck yeah, I do. He's great. So much more interesting than I thought he'd be.”

Jane didn't reply, but her lips thinned out.

“Jane,” Darcy said, “I'm not in love. He's not my boyfriend. We're just messing with people. I'll be fine.”

“If you say so,” Jane replied.

The tone of her friend’s voice annoyed Darcy. “Look, Steve Rogers and I are never going to be a thing. He’s not interested like that. He’s just a nice guy who is getting over a breakup and needed a friend.”

Jane shifted her gaze over to Darcy. “I don’t know, Dar. The way he looked at you when he came in here last time…”

“You always have your face shoved in research. How do you know how he looks at me?”

“Well, it’s pretty obvious he likes you.”

Darcy sighed and sat back in her chair. “As. A. Friend. He actually said so.”

Jane gave Darcy a weak smile. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I’ve been there and done that and all I got was hurt. Getting involved with these people that risk their lives fighting all this stuff… it’s no fun.”

“I’m sorry you got hurt, Jane. And I think Thor is an idiot of the highest caliber for not trying to make things work with you. But Steve and I aren’t in love; we’re just pretending.”

The two women sat in silence for a moment. Darcy tried to complete the next section of the application, but could only hover her fingers over the keyboard. The sound of the door clicking open made both of them jump in their chairs.

“Hi,” Steve said, slipping inside and letting the door close behind him. “Darcy,” he added, nodding at her. “Doctor Foster.”

“Jane,” the astrophysicist replied, “please.”

His gaze bounced between the two of them. “Am I interrupting?”

“No,” Darcy said, tossing a look over her shoulder at Jane as if daring the woman to open her mouth.

“Do you have time to take a walk with me?” Steve asked. “Weather is nice after the rain yesterday.”

“Lots of eyeballs to take us in?” she asked, standing up and shrugging off her sweater. The lab was always cold, but she knew the temperature outside was warmer.

“Oh,” Steve said, his eyes dropping for a moment before he looked up at her and said, “Yeah, yeah. Sam’s running drills out there so… there are more than a few eyeballs.”

She rubbed her hands together. “Excellent. More fodder for our nefarious plans.”

One corner of his mouth quirked up as he stepped over to the door and opened it for her. “I’ll have you back in an hour if you have work to do.”

Darcy looked over her shoulder at Jane. “You okay?” she asked. Jane nodded, but her face was carefully blank. A little twinge of guilt twisted her gut, but Darcy still slipped out of the lab with Steve. The way his fingertips brushed over the material of the T-shirt at the small of her back made Darcy close her eyes for a brief moment. This was just for fun; Jane was making something out of what was very obviously nothing.

“So, how are we playing this?” she asked, slipping an arm around his and pulling him closer. His body was warm and solid and a pleasure to press herself against. Her mind wandered to more salacious places as she thought of being in a bed, of feeling the length of his body all the way down hers. Of feeling his muscles bunch as he reached for her and pulled her closer.

“Thought we'd just walk around and talk.”

“You’re not very good at deception, Steve.” She used the elbow of the arm holding his to poke his side.

He chuckled and led her down the hall and around the corner. “You’re right; deception never was my strong suit. I’ve always been…”

When he trailed off, she looked up at his profile and said, “Perfect?”

The corners of his mouth turned up. “I ain’t ever been perfect. You get to know me better, you’ll figure that out.”

“Mmm, I don’t know about that,” Darcy said, squeezing his arm. “You’re the best fake boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

Steve pushed the door open and let her go through first. The early evening was warm with a gentle breeze. The building to the right held apartments for much of the lower level personnel. To their left was a wide field bordered by trees. About thirty men were scattered across the field in what appeared to be defensive formations. She could see Sam in his gear as he paced back and forth. They were far enough away, that she couldn’t hear what he was saying, though.

“I must be doing something right, then,” Steve murmured, taking her hand in his.

“What?” she asked, looking up at him.

“The best fake boyfriend you’ve had. I said I must be doing something right.” His hand felt warm and strong as he interlaced their fingers.

Darcy laid her face against his bicep and said, “You do everything right. Don’t act like you don’t know it.”

“Sometimes it feels like I can’t do anything right,” he said softly.

“Yeah?” Darcy asked. “Like what?”

He was silent for a moment, and then he pulled her forward so they could make their way across the field without getting too close to the training going on to their left. “Nothing,” Steve said.

“You know, you don’t talk about yourself much.”

“I’m boring,” he replied.

“Steven Rogers, you liar,” she teased.

This made him chuckle again and give her hand a gentle squeeze. “Do you think people believe you’re seein’ me?”

Darcy raised her brows at the way he worded things. Not whether he was dating her, but whether she’d deemed him enough to give him her time. “Can’t see why not. We’ve been spending time together the past few days. Marcus in weapons believed it.”

“I worry about it sometimes,” he said.

“About what? Us?” Like there is an us, she thought.

“About the wrong people thinking that we’re together and how that might make them hurt you. It’s not… well, it’s not a problem here, I don’t think. But, what if someone let it slip during a mission? What if someone else overheard? What if you went on one of your trips with Dr. Foster and…” He trailed off, his eyes staring at the perimeter fence still far away.

Squeezing his hand, she said, “I’ll be okay.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

His profile was a thing of beauty with the strong jawline and perfect nose and thick eyelashes. “Are you fake breaking up with me again?”

Her question made him jerk his head to look down at her. She could feel the tension in his body. “ _No._ No, I… I just want you to be safe.”

“That’s sweet of you, Steve. I’m okay. I spend almost all my time here at the base anyway.” She tapped their entwined hands against the outside of his thigh. “I want _you_ to be safe.”

He halted in his tracks, and Darcy found herself a couple steps ahead. Her hand was still firmly in his grasp, though. “Why?”

She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly. His question didn't seem like an appropriate response to her statement. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” he said, covering the space between them with a stride and urging her to walk with him again. “I'm safe.”

“I don't know, Steve. You put your life on the line a lot. I've seen it.”

He seemed defeated with his shoulders rolled forward and his head hanging low. “It's what I have to do.”

She could hear Jane's voice in her head saying that she needed to be careful. Darcy buried the voice in the back of her mind. This wasn't the same situation; she and Steve were not in love. That wasn’t in the cards because he was Captain America and she was not his leading lady. She was firmly in the role of sidekick and had been all of her life. So, he cared about her. So what? He probably cared about everyone; that was why he kept running toward the danger.

The warm breeze blew her hair to the side, and Darcy flipped it back into place with her free hand as they made their way across the field. Some of the guys to their left had noticed that Captain America was nearby and had started talking amongst themselves. “What are they saying?” she asked.

He smiled and shook his head. “I don’t want to repeat it.”

This made Darcy grin. “Come on, Steve. You can’t do that. Either lie and tell me they’re talking about the weather or tell me what they’re actually saying. Don’t be a tease.”

“They’re… speculating as to why you and I are together.”

“And? What’s the theory?”

His tongue rolled over his bottom lip. “Well, they think I might be appreciative of your…” He lifted his free hand and cupped it in front of his chest.

Darcy raised a brow. “My tits?”

Steve’s lips thinned out as he tried not to grin. “Yes.”

“Well, they _are_ pretty great,” she said, looking down at them. When she glanced up at him, he’d shifted his gaze down to look as well. “Definitely one of my best attributes.”

He cleared his throat and flicked his gaze back up to the perimeter fence in front of them.

“What?” Darcy asked, “You don’t agree?”

“Oh, no, no. I… I agree. They’re…”

When he trailed off into uncomfortable silence, Darcy stopped and doubled over into laughter. After a moment, he used his grip on her hand to pull her up and against his body.

“Don’t make fun of me,” he said, laughing himself now.

The men in formations a few yards away were openly staring now. Sam barked at them to focus.

“Uh oh,” she whispered, grabbing his arm with her free hand as they resumed their walk. “We’re gonna get them in trouble. You’re a distraction.”

“Me?” Steve asked, brows raised. “I think you’re the distraction, Darcy.”

“You’re their hero.”

“Yeah, but they were talking about your… attributes. Your shirt is a little, uh, tight.”

Feeling playful and bold, Darcy glanced down again and cupped her right breast in her free hand. “What?” she asked, “You don’t like the shirt.”

Something like heat flashed in his blue eyes before he looked away and replied, “I like it just fine. You always look beautiful.”

Her teasing mood and the saucy reply on her tongue withered and fell away at that last comment. Beautiful? Steve Rogers thought she always looked beautiful? She was cute, pretty, sometimes sexy if she had on the right jeans or dress. Darcy didn’t really think of herself as beautiful. He’d probably said it because he was a gentleman. It was just his old school self being polite.

As her smile faded, she leaned her head over and tapped her temple against his shoulder. “Thanks, Steve.”

They finished the walk to the fence in companionable silence. As he directed her to walk on the gravel path marking the perimeter of the base, he said, “This is nice.”

“What? Stirring up your underlings or taking a walk with me.”

“Taking a walk with you,” he said immediately. “Always feel like I got something that needs done. Slowing down feels good.”

Darcy squeezed his hand. “I’m your girl if you wanna learn how to do nothing. I’m so good at it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She flipped her hair back into place as another gust of wind blew it into his face. All he did was chuckle as the strands tickled his cheek and got caught in his beard. “Tell me something about yourself that no one knows,” she said, looking up at his face.

He looked relaxed and almost happy. Darcy watched as he considered her question, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. “Well, I don’t know. My life is… pretty transparent.”

“Doesn’t have to be a big thing, Steve.”

He swallowed and said, “I have a… coin. I… I bring it with me on missions. In my pocket.”

“What does it do?”

He laughed softly and dropped his head. “Nothing. It’s a fifty cent piece. You know Peggy Carter, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” replied, “The badass chick who helped found SHIELD. You know, the history books really do her a disservice. She should have gotten more credit.”

Steve smiled down at her, and his eyes were filled with nothing but warmth. It almost made her uncomfortable to be the focus of all that. “She was important to me. She knew me before all this,” he said, throwing his free arm out to the side to indicate himself. “We worked together.”

It sounded like they more than worked together, but Darcy held her tongue.

Shifting his gaze away, he said, “When I got out of the ice, I found her. She had Alzheimer’s and so much had changed since I’d last seen her.”

“Did she recognize you?”

“Off and on. I’d visit her sometimes. It was like her memories faded in and out. One minute she was there and the next she was… not really there.” He shrugged and added, “She gave me the coin during one of those not-there moments. I’m not sure what she was thinking, but she said it was good luck.”

Darcy smiled up at him. “So you carry it with you on missions.”

“Yeah.”

“I like that.”

“He shook his head. “You don’t think it’s stupid?”

“Hell no. Sounds like something I’d do.” They turned the corner and continued along the fence. “Didn’t she pass away a couple years ago?”

“Yeah.”

“You miss her?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered, his voice almost a whisper.

“Did you love her?” The question was out of Darcy’s mouth before she could censor herself in an effort to be understanding and not pry.

Steve’s jaw tightened.

“I’m sorry, that was out of line,” she said quickly. “Don’t answer that.”

“It’s okay,” Steve replied before licking his lips and sighing deeply. “To answer your question… yeah, I did. It feels… strange because it wasn’t so long ago for me. For her it was decades. She had a whole life, a career, a family. I wasn’t there for any of that. It feels like we were in love six years ago, not six decades ago.”

Darcy nodded, her heart aching for him. “That crashing and freezing shit will mess you up, I guess.”

Her comment made him chuckle softly and squeeze her hand. “Yeah, it will. You know, I got a little notebook to write down things I need to catch up on. It was so hard to deal with all that changed in all those years. Still is sometimes.”

“I’d love to see that notebook.”

He looked down at her and smiled. “Don’t have it with me, but I’d be happy to show you.” After pausing for a moment, he added, “Ain’t ever showed it to anyone before. I mean, Sam’s seen it, but I sure didn’t show it to him. Didn’t wanna get made fun of.”

“I wouldn’t,” Darcy assured him.

“I know you wouldn’t. Remind me one day and I’ll bring it to dinner with you. Maybe you can help me with it.”

Darcy opened her mouth to respond, but the thud of footsteps coming toward them made her look up. They’d made their way around to the area where Sam was running drills. He was approaching them with his hands on his hips and a smug smile on his face.

“Hello, lovebirds,” he called out when he was only a few years away. Steve stopped and released Darcy’s hand. She reached out to him reflexively but pulled up short when she remembered this was all an act and Sam Wilson already knew that.

“Sam,” Steve said, settling his hands on his hips. The sun had just set and the air was getting colder now that she was just in a T-shirt.

When he was close enough, Sam said, “Making the rounds and keeping the rumors going?”

“Sure,” Steve replied.

Sam’s gaze settled on her with a questioning look, but Darcy simply smiled back and crossed her arms over he body.

“How do they look?” Steve asked, nodding at the men in the field as they all retreated to cases to pick up weapons and set up targets several yards out.

“Good,” Sam replied. “How is Darcy?” He leaned to the side so he could see her standing slightly behind Steve.

“Oh, fine,” she said, “Just wondering why you walked all the way over here to ask how I am.” Stepping up beside Steve, she rubbed her hands over her upper arms.

“I didn’t. Came over here to tell Steve that Sharon is back from her intelligence mission.”

Darcy glanced up to see Steve’s reaction, but his expression hadn’t changed. “Thanks for the heads up, Sam.”

“Also, it should come as no surprise to you that everyone in this Peyton Place is all up in your business.”

Steve frowned. “Peyton Place?”

“Uh oh,” Darcy said, “Better put it in your catch-up book. It means a gossipy place.”

“Oh.” Steve’s frown deepened. “I wish Sharon well. I’m not going to go find her; I’ve said all I wanted to say.”

Sam smiled. “No, I was just giving you a heads up about her being around. I know you’re over that; I could tell when we were in South Africa that you’d moved on. I’m talking about security peeping at the camera in your hallway.”

Darcy honed in on the first comment about Steve being over Sharon Carter, about Steve _moving on_. She expected him to deny that, but he didn’t.

Instead, he said, “What camera?”

“The cameras in the hallways. Edwards that leads team five told me he heard from someone in security that you two seem awfully cozy for a couple who never visits each others apartments.”

“What?” Steve and Darcy both said in unison. Sam smiled like he was taking great pleasure in dropping this knowledge on them.

“Yeah, I guess some woman in security thought she was gonna move in on you since the Sharon thing ended and–”

“Dominique.”

Sam and Darcy looked at Steve, their brows raised.

“Her name is Dominique. I told her I wasn’t interested.” Darcy could see the little crease between Steve’s brows when he added, “Multiple times.”

“Well, Dominique thinks Darcy ain’t your style because she’s trying to poke holes in this little make believe love affair.”

“Wait,” Darcy said, holding up a hand, “this bitch is creeping on me? Watching my apartment door?”

Shrugging, Sam said, “Apparently yours and Steve’s. It’s her job to keep an eye on the internal security cameras, so she’s spending some of it watching your doors. She thinks you’re faking it.”

Steve’s expression was stormy as he turned and took a few steps away. She wanted to say something, but her mind was burning with unexpected jealousy over this woman who, unbeknownst to her, had been pursuing Steve. It was such a silly feeling, though, because he wasn’t hers to be jealous over. If Steve wanted the woman then Darcy really had no say in the matter.

“I don’t like it,” Steve said, turning around. “I’ll talk to her.”

“And tell her what?” Sam asked.

“And tell her to knock it off,” Steve replied. “Darcy doesn’t deserve to be under a microscope like that.”

Darcy put a hand on his arm. “Neither do you.”

“I’m used to it, though, Darcy. You don’t need to deal with this. This is my problem.”

“Hey,” she replied, “I don’t mind. I offered. Remember?”

“You didn’t know–”

She cut him off by saying, “I didn’t care.”

Sam cleared his throat and said, “You could just… you know, go in each other’s quarters.”

“What?” Steve asked, jerking his head to look at Sam.

“I mean, easy solution, right?” Sam asked with a smile. “I’m not saying you gotta sleep together. Just saying that you could be seen going into and coming out of each other’s places.”

“I don’t want Darcy to–”

“Okay,” Darcy said almost at the same time.

Steve looked at her like she was something new and wild. “What?” he asked.

“I said okay. What? I’m good enough to hold hands with, but not good enough to sit on your couch?” She crossed her arms over her midsection, partly because of the dropping temperature and partly because she was feeling vulnerable after what Steve had almost said.

He frowned and reached out to her, pulling up short when he realized there was no hand to grab. “Darcy, I didn’t mean it that way. I just don’t think you should feel like you gotta do this for me.”

“Oh, come on, Steve. Don’t make it sound like a burden. You make it sound like I’m crazy to enjoy spending time with you.”

“Well, do you?” he asked. She searched his face and was shocked to realize his question was painfully earnest and he seemed to believe her answer might be in the negative.

“ _Yes_. Are you kidding me? Yes, of course, I do. Why would I offer to do this whole fake dating thing if I didn’t?”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Finally, he said, “Well, I guess I don’t know. I… I… tried not to think about it.” After a long pause as he stared at the ground, he looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry, Darcy. I think I’m being dumb.”

“Well, you are. But that’s okay because I’m dumb sometimes, too. What’s it gonna hurt to hang out in our apartments instead of having dinner in the cafeteria when you’re in town? Might be fun.”

“Yeah, I’d love that. As long as you don’t feel like you’re being forced into this.”

“Forced to hang out with you? Not a chance.” She shivered when a gust of wind whipped through the yard and blew her hair around her face. The temperature dropped quickly, even in the summer, making the lower sixties feel more like the fifties. Gingerly tucking the strands behind her ears, she wrapped her arms around her midsection and rubbed her upper arms to warm up.

“Your girl’s cold,” Sam told Steve. It was the first thing he’d said in over a minute.

Steve looked at his friend and then at Darcy. “I’m sorry, doll. I’d give you a jacket if I had one.” He put his arms out to his sides. She couldn’t help but sweep her eyes over his body, the way his pants hugged his thighs and the white tee stretched over his well-defined muscles.

“You could always take off your shirt and hand it over,” she replied.

Steve paused and thought about it before reaching for the hem of the T-shirt.

Laughing, Darcy threw out a hand and stopped him. “I was joking, Steve. I was just being a perv and trying to get you to strip.”

Sam laughed, but Steve just shook his head as a blush crept over his cheeks. Darcy was always amazed when he acted bashful or shy about her compliments because he was the hottest guy she’d ever met. And she’d had the pleasure of knowing Thor, so that was really saying something.

“I better get you back to the lab,” Steve said. He stepped over to her and slipped one of his arms over her shoulders. The weight and warmth felt wonderful as she leaned into him and wrapped an arm around his waist. Sam was watching them with an amused grin on this face.

“Can we get something to eat before? Maybe pick up grub for Jane?” she asked, looking up and seeing her hair caught in his beard.

Steve just smiled and smoothed the strands down over the crown of her hair. “Whatever you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be a Steve and Darcy kiss coming up soon. Maybe. :-)
> 
> The lovely and talented lalunaunita worked her arty magic and created this piece depicting Steve and Darcy's evening walk in this chapter. Check it out:  
> <https://lalunaunita.tumblr.com/post/174694883921/hey-yall-its-fandom-friday-woo-hoo-please>  
> 


	8. Chapter 8

 

> _”Ah baby, come here. Let me caress you. Baby, your letters tell me what you missed. Come here, sugar, and get to this.” - Marvin Gaye (Come Get To This)_

The next night he picked her up at the lab for dinner. Jane didn’t have a chance to throw her the side eye because the brainiac was asleep one floor above. She’d stayed up all night and most of the day. Darcy had sent her to her bedroom around two o’clock in the afternoon when she’d found Jane passed out at her keyboard. It had taken a feat of will not to giggle over the keyboard imprints on her cheek.

“You know,” Darcy said, “if we went up to your place, people would notice.”

He looked up from his plate and met her gaze, something indefinable in his eyes. “Yeah?” he asked before sweeping his gaze over the room.

“Yep,” she replied. “I could play it up a little.”

This made him smile. “I’m afraid to ask what that means.”

Sharon Carter was sitting across the room from them, but Darcy hadn’t seen Steve give her more than a cursory glance when they entered. She’d thought he was more than a little broken up over her since he’d been scarce after the breakup and hadn’t shown any interest in any other women, but he didn’t act like it at all. Steve wasn’t the best actor, but she started wondering if he was surprisingly good at bottling up his feelings.

“How many people do you want to know you’re about to get fake laid?” Her voice was soft, barely a whisper, but she knew his hearing was good enough.

He choked on the last bite of his brown rice. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Darcy said with a grin. “Are we going for the entire cafeteria or just the tables in our vicinity?”

“Darcy, what do you intend on doing?” There was a warning in his voice, but a grin on his face once he’d recovered from nearly coughing up his food.

She stood up and leaned over the table, hands braced on its surface. “The tables around us are empty, so I’m thinking the entire cafeteria.”

“You gonna tell me what you’re gonna do so I’m prepared?”

“Nope.”

He wiped his fingers on his napkin and sat back in the chair. “You got me curious,” Steve admitted.

Darcy laughed but she played it up, a little louder than she would have normally been. It got the attention of a few people, one of them being Sharon Carter. Good. She was a heartbreaker. Pushing away from the table, Darcy sauntered over to the food line and called out to one of the kitchen staff members. “Excuse me! Excuse me!” When a woman looked up to address her, Darcy said, “Do you have whipped cream?”

The woman paused and looked toward the kitchen entrance. “Whipped cream?”

“Yeah, you know, in the can. Like for desserts.” Darcy looked over at Steve and waved to him by wiggling her index finger. He just shook his head, but she could see the smile lifting up the corners of his mouth. Half the room was watching the exchange between Darcy and the member of the kitchen staff.

The woman yelled something into the back. Darcy was leaning against the glass food covering with her ass out, looking over her shoulder and glancing at Steve every now and then, when someone finally appeared with a red and white can of whipped cream.

Darcy stretched her arm out to reach for it. The woman she’d been talking to asked her what dessert she wanted.

“You don’t serve the dessert I want,” Darcy assured just a little too loudly. “I’d like the entire can.”

With a frown, the woman finally relented and handed it over. The metal container was cold from the fridge. Darcy kept her eyes on Steve as she made her way back over to him. She was acutely aware that the entire room was watching now. He looked curious and slightly amused, which was surprising. He wasn’t really a showy guy; he liked to get the job done. Participating in this little scene wasn’t really his style. Maybe he was dipping into the reserves that he used back in the day when he went on tour to drum up support for the war.

She stopped next to his chair, trying to tell him to stay seated with her eyes. He seemed to get the hint and just turned slightly toward her so she could step into the wide space between his knees. Darcy braced a hand on his rock hard thigh and leaned down until her face was inches from his. He looked better the closer she got to him.

“You okay?” she said under her breath.

He smiled and it looked so damn genuine that her knees almost buckled. “Yeah,” he answered.

“You trust me?”

“Of course,” Steve said, not a hint of hesitation.

Darcy shook the can of cream and held it up to his mouth. Steve parted his lips, never taking his eyes off her. Carefully, Darcy squirted a dot of whipped cream on his tongue and watched him close his mouth to taste it. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down when he swallowed did things to that space between her legs.

“Keep your mouth closed this time,” she told him.

He did as she asked and let her squirt a line of whipped cream across the seam of his mouth. His eyes were so fucking intense when she leaned closer, but he didn’t move a muscle, not even when she swiped her tongue over the sweet whipped cream. When the tip of her tongue touched his lips, he parted them and lifted his chin just the slightest bit. Like he wanted to kiss her. Darcy blood was rushing and her hand on his leg felt like her only anchor.

With a trembling hand, she brought the can back up and squirted a bit more on his parted lips. As she leaned in to lick it off, his hand came up to rest on the back of her thigh, right below the curve of her ass. Fuck it, she thought. Instead of licking the cream off, she slanted her mouth over his, trapping most of it between their lips. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the way his tongue tentatively touched hers. He tasted like heat and sugar. He also knew exactly what he was doing as he lifted his free hand and buried his fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck.

If she’d thought her knees were going to buckle a few moments ago, then they surely were going to now as he licked into her mouth, no doubt tasting the whipped cream melting on her tongue and lips. The stuff had gotten stuck in the wiry hairs of his beard and mustache, and it brushed off on the skin around her lips when he deepened the kiss.

Darcy pulled back to take a breath, but as soon as she could pull it in and open her eyes, his tongue was running over her lips while he licked up the last bit of sticky sweetness there. She watched with glazed eyes as he did the same with his lips and beard.

A wolf whistle from their right made Darcy jerk to attention. Steve let her go, his hands on her neck and the back of her thigh slipping away as if they’d never been there. Heart racing, she stepped back from him and watched him stand up and take the can from her. His free hand grabbed hers and tugged her toward the exit. Darcy followed, glancing over her shoulder to see the entire cafeteria—nearly thirty people—watching them leave. She would have congratulated herself if her brain weren’t fried and incapable of thinking thoughts beyond how Steve’s tongue felt like velvet.

He led the way down the hallway and to the elevator, which they got in alone. She laughed nervously and opened her mouth to talk about the successful scene. The words died on her lips when he crowded her in the corner with his body. He was big and intimidating and panty-melting like no other guy she’d ever seen. Was this for real, then? Were they really going to do this? Were they going to go up to his place and fuck? God, she hoped so. Sweet, deferential Steve was a different animal altogether now.

“There’s a camera in here,” he whispered with his mouth so close to her ear that she felt his hot breath before she comprehended the words. A shot of sexual electricity ripped through her, but it quickly dissipated when she realized exactly what was going on. He was still playing it up for their audience. This was _fake_ , even if it felt painfully real to her. If she hadn’t realized she was in trouble before, then she knew it for a fucking fact now.

Instead of kissing her again, he brushed his lips down the column of her neck. He probably meant it to be less intimate, but it wasn’t. Not by a fucking longshot. She _ached_ for him. The elevator car dinged to announce their arrival on the fourth floor. No one was around, but cameras were in all of the hallways. Darcy didn’t resist when he took her hand again and pulled her down the hall and around the corner. His door was secured with an iris reader just like hers. They were inside with the heavy door between them and the world within a few seconds. The strain of pretending when she didn’t want to pretend at all suddenly lifted off her, and she sagged back against the wall by the entrance.

Steve had let go of her hand, and his back was still toward her. He was holding himself with care, his shoulders tense and the muscles of his arms tight enough that she could see a vein running down each forearm, even in the dim lighting.

“Mission accomplished?” she said. It was more of a question than anything else.

He turned to look at her, and Darcy could do nothing but laugh softly, covering her face with the long sleeves of her pullover as her thoughts swirled with embarrassment and confusion and sexual frustration. It was as if her laughter broke something in him that was straining to stay in control. Steve pulled in a deep breath and exhaled sharply before smiling at her and joining in with rumbling chuckles that she felt between her legs. Now that she knew what he was capable of, it was difficult to think of him in the same terms as the polite, gracious man who was getting over a bad breakup.

“I’ve never done anything like that,” he admitted before shaking his head and running a hand roughly through his hair. He sat the can of whipped cream on the table by the door.

“Well, I’d say I have, but… totally my first time making out over whipped cream in the middle of a busy cafeteria as well.”

Her comment made him laugh harder, and his laughter made her break into almost uncontrollable giggles. It was like laughing at a funeral or some other somber occasion; the more you tried to suppress it, the harder you laughed. By the time they recovered from the fit, they were both doubled over with hands on their knees.

“I can't believe we did that,” she said, her voice loud in the silence of his apartment.

“Yeah, me neither,” Steve agreed.

Darcy pushed herself back to an upright position and watched Steve do the same. “It was fun, though.”

“It was definitely something,” he said before moving further into the apartment so he could flip on a light other than the recessed one just above the door.

Darcy remained in the small foyer, standing on the white tile and looking at what she could see of his obviously larger apartment. “Nice place,” she told him after he'd turned on a second lamp in the living area.

A small kitchenette was to the left. It had a hot plate, microwave, and a small fridge that she bet held not much more than bottled water. The living area was in front of her with plush tan carpeting and functional furniture similar to the kind her place came with. Really, it wasn’t all that different than her place, just larger. Larger square footage, larger couch, larger windows, and more windows. He was on the corner of the building and had a much better view of the scenery around the compound since his fourth-floor view allowed him to see over the squat barracks that housed most of the personnel on the base.

Darcy walked around the living room and trailed her fingertips over his furniture as she took in the view from the windows. “I can see the patio below,” she said, pressing her forehead against the glass and looking down at the picnic table she used to smoke at. She missed the smoke breaks more than the cigarettes. Quitting had been both easier and harder than she'd imagined, even with the nicotine gum he'd bought her.

“I used to watch you sometimes.”

She turned to look at him, wondering if she'd heard him wrong. “You what?”

Steve was standing across the room, looking like a delicious snack in his dark pants and white tee. He also looked just a little uncomfortable. “I used to see you out there.”

“You mean the night you came down to say hello?”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Yeah, that night and others. Is it creepy to say I watched you before we'd ever really talked?”

His eyes were so earnest, like he really was worried about making her uncomfortable. Fat chance of that. “Maybe if you were someone other than you then it'd be creepy, but you're you so… it's not. Why in the hell did you watch me?”

He shrugged and moved over to the couch so he could fall back onto the cushion at the far end. “I don't know,” he said after exhaling a heavy sigh. “You were the only one out there that time of night. You reminded me of the world outside of all this… military stuff.” He brushed something off his pants legs as he added, “I'd try to imagine what you were thinking about.”

Darcy toed off her shoes and curled up on the opposite end of the couch, folding her legs beneath her so she could face him and observe his handsome profile. “What'd you think I was thinking?”

He leaned his head back against the cushions of the couch and rolled it to the side so he could see her. “Never could figure it out.”

“I was probably wondering how long Jane and I are gonna be here or thinking about the slingshot or whatever we'd worked on that day. Nothing special or exciting.”

“You ever wish you lived a normal life?”

She widened her eyes. “Are you telling me this isn't a normal life?”

Steve laughed at her question and shook his head.

“Hell no. Normal is overrated, man. Give me abnormal or weird any day of the week. I mean, Captain America was creeping on me and I didn't even know it. That's abnormal, but I'm all about it.”

“Steve,” he corrected.

She tilted her head to the side and laid it on the back of the couch. “You don't like the title, do you?”

“It just ain't me anymore. I can't be that, whatever it is. I left it behind when I dropped my shield.”

“What was it like back then?”

“Being Captain America?” he asked.

“Yeah, back when you were doing the USO shows.” She fiddled with the long sleeves of her pullover, watching him consider the question.

His gaze was on her hands when he answered. “Honestly, it started feeling like a joke pretty quickly. That ain't ever been me, and you know I'm not that good of an actor.”

She raised her brows. “I don't know about that. You did a pretty good job tonight.”

One corner of his mouth lifted in a wistful smile. “That's what you think.” Clearing his throat, he continued by saying, “I didn't want to do it. Maybe at first I was on board, but after the first or second, I just wanted to get out there and help the guys on the ground, our guys fighting the Nazis. Felt like the shows were a cop-out. They gave me this body, and I was using it to play around.”

“I would have thought they gave you super soldier serum to make you a super soldier who could help win the war.”

“They said morale wins the war and I was the morale booster.”

Darcy scrunched her nose up. “Kicking ass usually goes a long way to winning. Morale only takes you so far.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Plus, my friend was captured behind enemy lines, so that was a motivator, too.”

“James Barnes,” she said.

He seemed a bit surprised that she knew the name.

“Poli sci major who took lots of history classes,” she reminded him. “I wasn't creeping on you like you were on me.”

He laughed softly. “Good to know. But, yeah, Bucky. He was a big reason I broke away and got my hands dirty.”

“Does it bother you when people still call you Cap?”

He let out another heavy sigh and leaned forward to loosen the laces on his black boots. “Yes and no,” he said as he toed the boots off.

“How so?”

“Well, I know they don't mean anything by it, that it's just what they think they should call me. But it's just not me anymore and feels… wrong.”

“Disingenuous,” she offered.

“Yeah, that. It seems disingenuous to let them believe I'm that guy and what he represents. Things aren't so cut and dry anymore.”

Darcy watched him turn to face her, mirroring her posture by laying his face on the back of the couch. “Honestly, I don't think they ever were,” she said.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, maybe I'm just now seeing things for what they are. It's disappointing when you spend so much of your life lifting something up, some ideal, only to realize…”

“That it's as fucked up as anything else,” she finished for him.

“Do you think what I'm doing is right?” he asked, his eyes true blue and begging her to give him an honest answer.

“I think I'd rely on your moral compass faster than any government organization, especially the US government.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “Because I know you. Or at least I think I do.”

“I’d say you know me pretty well,” Steve agreed.

“Okay. So, I know you, and I know you're a good guy who wants to protect people, who cares about the people around him, who wants to do the right thing. And I've seen you do it at risk to yourself. Not many people would do the same. Honestly, politicians would be the least likely to self sacrifice. So, yeah, I think telling them to shove the Accords up their ass and leaving—I think that's just fine. I wouldn't expect less from you.”

“You’re too forgiving,” he said, dropping his gaze to her hands again.

“Nah,” Darcy replied, “maybe you're just too hard on yourself.”

He chuckled softly and glanced up to meet her gaze. “Thank you, doll.”

“Oh boy, go on with those old-fashioned nicknames. Makes me wanna be an old-fashioned girl sometimes.”

“You are,” Steve said. “You're a classic.”

It was without a doubt a compliment. Coming from anyone else she would have shrugged it off as silly, but coming from Steven Rogers, it made her feel like she was walking on air. She was a fucking _classic_. It was strange and hilarious that he thought that, but she wasn’t about to question him. “Thanks, Steve,” Darcy said softly.

“I wish…”

When he trailed off she raised her brows to entice him to continue.

He smiled and shook his head like his thought was silly.

“You wish what?” Darcy asked.

“I wish you could have known Peggy. I think you two woulda got along really well.”

“A lot in common?” she asked, her cheeks coloring at the second compliment in as many minutes.

He shook his head. “No, not really. You're both so different. But she would have liked you, and I think you would have liked her, too. I'd say you remind me of her, but you don’t. Not really. But I know you two woulda been thick as thieves.”

Her stomach felt like it was flipping over every few seconds in the warmth of his regard. “Something tells me that's one of the highest compliments you give, Steve.”

That made him smile wide enough she could see his teeth in the sea of wiry beard. “It is,” he agreed. “I had a lot of respect for her.”

“You loved her.”

He looked back, his expression carefully blank. “That ain’t in the history books, is it?”

She shook her head and smiled. “Nope, but I don’t think it belongs in the history books.”

He looked down at the middle cushion of the couch, the one neither of them was sitting on. His knee rested on the edge of it, but that was about it. Finally, he said. “Yeah, I did. Like I said, feels like it wasn’t that long ago. Still feels fresh.”

“That must be horrible,” she told him, her heart aching at the sorrow in his words.

The both sat in silence for a minute, but it didn’t feel awkward. His eyes were on the cushion, and it allowed her to study the way his hair looked tucked behind his ears and the pink of his lips surrounded by his beard and the dark lashes standing out against the tender skin underneath his eyes. His lips parted like he was going to say something, and then they pressed together when he undoubtedly squashed the thought before it could be voiced.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Ain’t you already been doing that?” he asked. The comment would have stung if she hadn’t seen the softness in his gaze when he looked up at her.

“What happened with Sharon?”

He shook his head. “Just didn’t work out.”

“You or her or both?”

He pulled in a deep breath and said, “Probably more me,” before exhaling slowly. All she could hear in the whoosh of air was exhaustion.

“I only ask because you don’t seem upset when you see her with her new guy. I can’t tell if you’re hiding it well or if it doesn’t matter to you.”

“Does it make a difference?”

She pushed out her lower lip in a pout. “Well, yeah. I’m trying to be a good friend. It’s hard to do that when you don’t wanna lean on me.”

“Is that what we are?” he asked.

Darcy’s frustration escaped as a bitter laugh. “I don’t know. Are we? I mean, if you’re just in this for the act, then let me know and I’ll back the fuck up.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry, Darcy. I’m not good at this. I’m not good at depending on people other than myself. Yes, we’re friends. Of course we are.”

“Look, Jane and I have been friends for a long time. We’ve been through a lot together, and she’s not too willing to talk to me about Thor. So, if you’re in the same boat—if it hurts too much to talk about it—then just say so. I don’t wanna force you to tell me–”

“It hurts, but not the way you think,” he said. When she watched him and waited for the rest of the thought, Steve shook his head. “Maybe we can talk about it another time?”

She nodded. “Sure thing.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I heard you were making out with Steve Rogers in the cafeteria yesterday,” Jane said, putting her coffee down on the desk. No coffee for Darcy, though. Jane’s voice was measured and detached, which meant was she was very unhappy.

“All for show, Janie.”

Jane tapped out the password to her computer and said, “Sounded like it was more than show.”

“People blow shit out of proportion.” Darcy cleared her throat and said, “Do they have cinnamon scones this morning?”

“Yes.”

“So, obviously you’re mad at me since you always get me one. Are we gonna talk about why me faking a relationship with Steve Rogers is setting your ass off?” Darcy had meant to keep her calm, but Jane’s passive-aggressive attitude was really starting to get under her fucking skin.

Jane stood up and put her hands on her slim hips. She looked like a pint-sized tornado. “Darcy, I warned you that you’re going to get hurt. This is going to end badly.”

“Stop trying to make this about you and Thor,” Darcy snapped back. “We’re just having fun. Maybe that’s something you don’t know how to do.”

“Don’t you be flippant with me, Darcy!” Jane said, raising her voice. “I know you, and I can see exactly what is happening. Everyone can see it but you and that empty-headed soldier–”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Darcy said, interrupting before Jane could continue. “Don’t you dare talk about him like that. You don’t even know him.”

“Do you?” Jane asked, throwing her arms out at her sides. “Because you’re crazy if you think he’s the type that would ever put you first.”

Standing up, Darcy braced her palms on the desk. “He puts everyone before himself.”

“Exactly!” Jane hissed. “Exactly. He puts everyone before himself which means the world comes before his happiness—before _you_.”

Darcy reeled back. “Who says I could ever make him happy? This is supposed to be a fucking joke, Janie.”

Tears were shining in Jane’s eyes, welling up and threatening to tip over the narrow ledge of her lower lids. “You’re my friend, Dar. I don’t want you to ever feel this way. It feels like my insides are all ripped up. I thought it would get better, but…”

Pushing the chair to the side and painfully bumping her thigh against the sharp corner of the desk, Darcy moved toward Jane. Jane dropped her head and started crying a fraction of a second before Darcy wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. “Why don’t you talk to me about this shit, Janie? I just thought you were okay all this time.”

Jane sniffed and fisted Darcy’s shirt in her hands. “What good would talking do?”

“You can’t keep it bottled up, you stupid big-brained bitch,” Darcy told her.

The comment made Jane start laughing. They both dissolved into hysterical giggles and tears. Jane was probably thinking of Thor and worrying about him, maybe even regretful over the way things ended. Darcy was hurting for her friend, but she was also hurting for herself. As much as she repeated the mantra that this was just for fun, she knew full well that she was in over her head with Steve Rogers. She _cared_ about him definitely as a friend, but probably a little more than that. She’d crossed the line and couldn’t really identify where and when it happened. The fact was that even if she bowed out now, the damage was already done. All she had to look forward to was that awful purgatory that Jane lived in—wondering when the man you loved was going to meet his end and knowing that his choices meant it would be sooner rather than later.

When the hiccuping laughter and sobbing subsided, they were kneeling in the floor of the lab with arms around each other. Darcy settled down on her ass and sighed. Jane did the same, laying her head on Darcy’s shoulder. Their breathing slowed and their sniffles quieted.

“Does it bother you that you still love him after these years? What has it been? Two, three?”

“Two years, ten and a half months,” Jane replied. “Yeah, it bothers me. I wish I could erase it.”

Darcy frowned and pushed a stray hair from Jane’s face. “Do you really, though?”

Jane considered the question and sighed. “No, not really. It just… really fucking sucks.”

The comment sounded more like something Darcy would say than the smarty-pants astrophysicist. “Is that your professional opinion, Doctor?” Darcy asked with a cheeky grin. “That it really fucking sucks?”

Jane laughed and wiped at her face that was wet with tears. “Yeah, you smartass.”

Darcy rested her ear against the crown of Jane’s head. “Do you regret ending things, giving him the ultimatum?”

She didn’t answer at first. Finally, she said, “Yes? No? I don’t really know. Some days I think it was the dumbest thing I ever did. Other days I feel like I never even had a choice. Being there for him was like…” Jane pulled in a deep breath and blew it out in a steady stream between her parted lips. “It was like giving blood when he was gone. Like lying there and being drained and wondering if this time would be the time that I’d run out of blood and be drained dry before he came back. And then he’d come back and it’d be like I’d gotten an infusion, it’d be like a high.”

“And then you’d feel like you were being drained again,” Darcy said.

“Exactly. It felt like I was dying each time. And the not knowing. That was terrible. Not knowing if he was alive or dead, dreading phone calls or knocks on the door.”

Darcy said, “I’m sorry, Janie. I guess I knew, but I didn’t know. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Jane agreed.

“If you could do it all again, would you still do it the same way?”

The room was silent for a very long moment before Jane said, “Don’t know. Sometimes I tell myself I’d have never gotten involved with him in the beginning. Sometimes I tell myself I’d have tried harder to learn how to live with it. And sometimes… sometimes I feel like I couldn’t have done it differently and keep my sanity.”

“Thought you might have an answer for me, big sis.”

“You’re in too deep, aren’t you?” Jane whispered.

Darcy gave a bitter laugh and said, “Smartypants.”

“I thought I could stop you before it happened.”

Shaking her head against Jane’s as it rested on her shoulder, Darcy said, “I wasn’t listening to you. It felt too good.”

“Yeah,” Jane said, her voice wistful, “don’t I know it. It really does feel too good to stop sometimes.”

“Well, _fuck_ ,” Darcy muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are just great. Thank you for all of the lovely comments/feedback. You make this author happy. :-)


	9. Chapter 9

 

> _Hey girl, what’s your fantasy? I’ll take you there to that ecstasy.” - The Isley Brothers (Between the Sheets)_

Darcy was minding her own business and thinking about the candy bar in the pocket of her office sweater when Natasha Romanov fell into step beside her. Darcy faltered as she did a double take. Natasha was intimidating and beautiful and untouchable. Darcy had spoken to her less than four times in the two years she’d been at the base, and every single time had been in the presence of Sam Wilson, who seemed to bridge the gap between the superheroes and the normals quite nicely. Darcy was always impressed with his ability to handle them and still be accessible enough for the run of the mill weirdos like herself.

“Hello, Darcy,” Natasha said, taking Darcy’s arm in her own and directing her around the corner and away from the lab.

“Uh, hello,” Darcy replied, her eyes wide and her mind racing.

“It’s a nice day. Let’s go for a walk.” Natasha told her in a hushed voice.

“Oh. O—Okay.”

Natasha smiled at her and Darcy wasn’t sure if it was warm and friendly or cold and calculating. Maybe a bit of both. “You seem tense. Long hours?”

“Oh, you know, the usual,” Darcy said, trying to figure out what the woman’s angle was.

Natasha’s stiff arm pushed the door to the building open and they stepped off the concrete pad of the front entrance and onto the asphalt of the circular drive that was empty at the moment. She followed the super spy’s lead and walked down the road at a leisurely pace.

“How’s Steve?” Natasha asked when they were several yards from the building.

“Umm, good? I guess,” Darcy replied. “We watched a couple movies last night.”

Natasha’s brows lifted. “Watched movies? You didn’t do anything else?”

Darcy wasn’t one to get embarrassed easily, but she was caught off guard and intimidated. Her cheeks started burning as she mentally scrambled for a response. Didn’t Natasha remember that this was all fake? She and Steve hadn’t repeated their little scene with the whipped cream in the cafeteria, but she had paid Steve a visit to watch movies in his place the previous night. Did the blonde spy think it was a real thing now? Darcy wasn’t sure what to say.

Finally, she muttered, “Yeah, we had ice cream I swiped from the freezer while the kitchen crew wasn’t watching.”

Natasha smiled again. “Don’t worry; I’m here as a friend.”

“Whose friend? Mine or Steve’s?”

“Hmm, good point. Observant,” Natasha said. “If it’s okay with you, I’m here for you both.”

Darcy tried to hide her surprise. “Hey, I’m okay with that. I could definitely use a few more badass friends.”

Natasha adjusted her hold on Darcy’s arm and leaned in conspiratorially. “I’ve always been short on friends. Side effect in my line of work.”

“Well, I specialize in throwing myself in the line of fire by befriending you superhero types, so you came to the right place, Natasha.” Pausing, she looked over at the woman. “Am I allowed to call you that?”

All she got was a smile, and it looked authentic. “Well, it _is_ my name. But, please, call me Nat.”

“Nat,” Darcy repeated. “Is this how you make friends? Just swipe people from their lives and suggest it?”

“Worked, didn’t it?”

Darcy shrugged. “Point taken. I’m glad you weren’t looking for an enemy today.”

“I’ve got enough of those to do me for three lifetimes.”

“So, what’s up, _friend_?”

Nat let go of Darcy’s arm, probably because she assumed Darcy wasn’t a flight risk, and said, “Do you know Derek Gionta?”

“Umm, no. I know _of_ him,” she replied. “He’s team one’s leader.”

“Thoughts?” Nat asked.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Massive dick, and I don’t mean that he’s packing in the pants. He’s probably got a wiener the size of a Vienna Sausage judging by his macho man attitude and that chip on his shoulder. I can’t confirm, but I think he’s the one that dubbed Jane’s lab the Estrogen Lab.”

Nat just chuckled. “So, not a fan?”

“No. Why?”

“Did you know he’s Steve’s neighbor?”

“Nope, but that doesn’t surprise me. He probably told Fury he wouldn’t take the job if didn’t have the best digs, second only to Captain America.”

“I like you, Darcy. We should have been friends a long time ago.”

“So, what about dickhead Derek?” Darcy asked.

“So, there’s Steve’s apartment, then Derek’s, then Sam’s.”

“Oooh-kay,” Darcy said, glancing over to look at Nat’s profile. The woman held herself with poise and moved with grace and fluidity. She looked dangerous without even trying. Darcy wondered if it was hard for her to look normal and approachable.

“A few weeks ago we all had a meeting about gossip. Fury wasn’t too happy with the loose lips,” Nat continued.

“Yeah, loose lips–”

“Sink ships,” Nat finished the saying with a grin. “Well, Derek has some real loose lips.”

Darcy furrowed her brows. “Wait, this isn’t going somewhere sexual, is it?”

Grimacing, Nat said, “God, no.”

“Okay, okay, proceed.”

“Apparently, the walls in this building are thin. It was never really intended to house residents. Derek’s on a bit of a mission to find out who Sam Wilson is having sex with.”

“ _What_?” Darcy asked, her voice squeaking as she stopped walking and turned to face Nat.

The spy grabbed her arm and turned her around so they could continue their stroll. “You heard me. Thin walls and Derek has a nosey streak.”

“Are you and Sam that loud?” Darcy whispered, leaning her head into Nat’s personal space.

Nat shrugged. “When it’s good, it’s good.”

“Hmm,” Darcy replied.

“I didn’t realize the walls were so thin,” Nat admitted. “But the damage is done and there’s no reason to be quiet about it now.”

“Okay, fair enough.”

“Have I thanked you lately for your discretion after you saw Sam and I?”

Darcy smiled and said, “No, but I do accept personal favors as repayment for my silence.”

This made Nat laugh. “Sure, I owe you one. But I don’t buy for a minute that’s the only reason you kept your mouth shut. Have you checked your security clearance lately?”

“No, but Steve said it was high. I was pretty sure I was just level two.”

“It’s five,” Nat replied.

“Uh, no, it’s not,” Darcy insisted. “It can’t be that high. Five is one level below you and Steve. Derek is a five. I’m a two.”

“Don’t argue with me, new friend,” Nat said, letting go of her arm again. “It’s a five because I changed it to a five.”

Darcy laughed softly and shook her head. “Why in the hell would you change my security clearance?”

“Because you can keep a secret. You’re trustworthy. You told Steve there was a leak weeks ago. I planted a couple pieces of fake info in your path right after you talked to Fury. You sent him anonymous messages and told him where the intel came from.”

Pulling up short again, Darcy said, “Wait a minute. You and Fury were _testing_ me?”

Nat waved away Darcy’s indignation. “Fury’s too single-minded for that nowadays. I did it on my own just to see what you’d do.”

“Why?”

“Because we need people like you to back us up.”

Nat took her arm and pulled her along, further down the road. Darcy followed reluctantly. “Look, I don’t know where this is going. We were talking about Derek and then you and Sam and now my security clearance. I’m confused.”

“The security clearance was an aside. The point is that Steve’s neighbor has a big mouth and a penchant for gossip. He’s heard Sam and I, so he knows the walls are thin. Do you want to guess what he _hasn’t_ heard, Darcy? Do you want to guess what he told a few members of his team yesterday when they were running drills with me?”

Everything fell into place. Steve, then Derek, then Sam. Derek shared a wall with both. And if Derek could hear Sam’s nocturnal activities, then it would stand to reason that he should be able to hear Steve’s. Except Steve wasn’t getting a lick of sex, at least not from her. “Ahh, fuck,” Darcy muttered.

“Yep,” Nat replied with a grin.

“So, what’s he saying?”

Nat let go of her again. “Bullshit,” she said. “That you and Steve are just for show, that Sharon left him because he couldn’t satisfy her. That the serum left him impotent.”

“Oh. My. God,” Darcy said through gritted teeth. “Do you have a gun I can borrow so I can shoot Derek’s dick off?”

“I have a few knives.”

“Nah, I don’t want to get close enough to it for a knife to work.” Darcy’s comment made Natasha laugh.

“What a fucking asshole,” she told Nat. “That’s unbelievable. Steve saves their asses on the daily, and he’s talking shit like that?”

“He’s a problem,” Nat agreed.

“So, why haven’t you gone to Fury?”

The blonde spy grinned, and it looked dangerous and devious. Darcy was glad she wasn’t on the receiving end of whatever Nat planned to dish out. “I’m taking care of the situation myself. I just thought I should give you and Steve a chance to set the record straight before I encourage Derek Gionta to take an early retirement.”

Darcy’s eyes widened. “What? Set the record straight like confessing to everyone that we’re faking it?”

Nat turned around to head back to the building and waited for Darcy to follow before she said, “No, set the record straight with a performance that will shut Mr. Gionta up.”

“Oh,” Darcy said. “ _Oh_. Gotcha. But what makes you think he’ll tell anyone what he heard?”

“He’s a gossip. Probably Fury’s leak that was causing issues a few weeks back. He won’t be able to help himself.”

“Hmmm,” Darcy said, keeping pace with Nat. They walked in silence for a couple minutes before she said, “So, how did you get in and out of Sam’s room without the security cameras seeing you?”

“His bedroom window isn’t visible on the security camera grid.”

“How lucky.”

Nat grinned again. “Not luck. Skill, Darcy. Skill.”

 

* * *

 

 

Later that day Darcy was deep in thought as she considered how exactly she should play the situation with Derek. She was so deep in thought that she walked into the public restroom on the first floor and nearly collided with Sharon Carter. Darcy steadied herself with a hand on the wall and tried to will away the flush creeping over her face. It was fine to talk shit behind Sharon’s back, but standing in front of the woman was a little different. It was easy to think Sharon was the devil for breaking Steve’s heart when she didn’t have to actually look the woman in the eye.

“Hey,” she said, dropping her gaze and thinking about the little scene in the cafeteria. Why did she ever think it was appropriate to kiss him in front of his ex? What a fucking immature thing to do. Were they in high school? Had Sharon even bought it for a minute?

Sharon pulled in a deep breath before exhaling and forcing a smile. “Hey,” she repeated back.

Darcy’s smile was more like a grimace when she locked gazes with the other woman. “Uh, this is more than a little awkward, right?”

Sharon laughed under her breath. “Little bit.”

“Hey, I’m, uh… Look, I don’t know what went down between you and Steve, but… Look, I don’t want to be that girl even though I think I might have been acting like that girl.”

The blonde smiled and this time it was genuine. “It’s… it’s fine, Darcy. It’s Darcy, right?”

“Right.”

“No grudges. Steve and I weren’t… we weren’t going to happen no matter how much either of us wanted it.”

Darcy furrowed her brows but bit her tongue before she pried further into something that was none of her business. “He’s still upset about it, I think. Upset about you.”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard, but Steve and I… It was mutual.”

“Oh,” Darcy replied. “Oh, I thought… I thought you…”

Sharon gave her a sad smile. “It wasn’t just me.”

“Well, that makes a lot more sense. I mean, who’d dump _him_ ,, right?”

There was that sad smile still plastered on Sharon’s face. “Being in a relationship with Steve is difficult. He doesn’t make things easy for anyone, including you and himself. But you’re probably figuring that out or will be soon.”

“Yeah,” Darcy agreed even though she wasn't quite sure what Sharon was talking about. Maybe because she wasn’t actually _in_ a relationship with Steve Rogers.

Sharon reached out and placed a hand on Darcy’s upper arm. “Hey, I wish you two luck. Seriously. He deserves to be happy.”

Darcy turned around to look at Sharon when the other woman pulled away and walked toward the door of the bathroom. “Are you okay, Sharon?”

Looking over her shoulder, Sharon said, “I am. Like I said, Steve and I… that wasn’t ever going to work. I hope it does with you. Just… take care of yourself.”

Darcy wanted to come back with a snappy comment about how Steve was taking care of her, but her tongue felt thick and lifeless in her mouth. Instead, she just said, “Okay,” as the door shut behind Sharon.

She stood in front of the sink and looked at herself in the mirror for a long moment. The warning was silly because she and Steve weren’t even a thing. Take care of herself. _Whatever._

 

* * *

 

 

Derek was a typical frat boy, just fifteen years after he’d spent his days hazing poor pledges. He looked to be in the latter half of his thirties and kept his hair buzzed. He favored camo, even when he wasn’t out in the field. It was like he thought the army fatigues gave him some sort of status among those who ran the facility. He swung his arms a bit too much when he walked, and he took up more space than was really necessary. Steve was a presence without even trying to fill the room. Derek went out of his way to be loud and obvious and downright mean to people around him who weren’t in his little club.

While she watched him leave the cafeteria, she wondered if he and Steve had ever clashed out in the field. To keep him around, despite the problems he created, Derek had to be very good at his job. Darcy just found it hard to accept that Steve would allow such behavior out of a man under his command.

As Derek rounded the corner, she pulled the brown raincoat tighter around herself and hurried after him. The heels of the black pumps clicked against the tile floor. She skidded to a stop when she nearly collided with him at the elevator, fumbling in her pockets and tucking her hair behind her ears in a show of nervousness or embarrassment.

His eyes swept up and down her body. She knew full well what he was seeing because she’d studied herself in the full-length mirror on her bedroom door before coming downstairs. She wore a brown raincoat that reached to mid-thigh. The hood of the coat rested against her back, unused. Her legs below the hem of the coat were bare, and her feet were clad in black pumps with slim four-inch heels. She’d bought them the last time she and Jane had taken a trip to London, thinking she’d use them to impress some guy on the base. They hadn’t been worn until tonight. Actually, it’d been so long since she’d worn heels that she’d walked around her apartment trying to relearn the mechanics of it.

Her hair was down and styled in loose waves. She’d worked harder than she was willing to admit on the hair. Fiddling in her pockets again, she gave him a nervous smile. The no-smudge red lipstick probably made her teeth look whiter than they really were. It was part of the reason she loved the bold color.

“Hey,” he said, nodding his head at her and moving his gaze down to her legs again. The man had never given her a second glance, but throw on a pair of heels and some red lipstick and he was looking at her like she was a snack. What a fucking asshole. Maybe there would have been a day that she would have entertained a roll in the hay with him, but he didn’t stand a chance in hell now.

“Hi,” Darcy said right as the elevator dinged.

Derek gestured for her to enter first, and it wasn’t until that moment that she second-guessed her plan. She’d forgotten that she’d have to be alone with him in the elevator, and she hadn’t realized exactly how creepy it would feel to have him leer at her bare legs and wonder what she was or wasn’t wearing beneath the raincoat.

Gingerly, she stepped past him and wedged herself in the back corner of the car. As he boarded, she pulled the edges of the coat tighter around her body after making sure the tie around the waist was knotted.

“Three?” he asked. Gross, he knew where she lived. She’d been sure he’d always looked right through her, seeing nothing but some woman who didn’t rate on his scale of hotness.

“Uh, four,” she replied.

His lips parted, but he didn’t respond. He just pushed the button for the fourth floor and leaned against the middle of the back wall. Too close. He was too close, and he did not make her feel safe like Steve made her feel. He made her feel like she was prey and he had her fenced in.

“Visiting somebody?”

“Yeah,” she replied, looking at the door. Third floor. Come on, fourth floor.

“Lucky guy,” he said right before the elevator dinged.

She shrugged, irritated with his cocky and presumptuous attitude. “What makes you think it’s not a girl?”

The doors opened at the same moment his eyes darkened. “If it is, then I got some free time tonight if you girls need some company.”

Oh, brother. Gross and a half, she thought. What a fucking predictable perv. Darcy slipped out of the elevator. “Sorry to bust up that fantasy, but you were right the first time. Just going to see my boyfriend.”

He followed her down the hall, a few steps behind her. Close enough to be irritating and uncomfortable, but far enough away that she could convince herself he wasn’t doing it on purpose. Even though he was probably doing it on purpose. Derek seemed like the type to get a kick out of making someone feel on edge. Steve’s door was so very close.

“You talking about Cap? Is he your boyfriend, honey?” he asked from just a few feet behind her.

“Yep,” Darcy said, tossing the answer over her shoulder, but never slowing her stride. Her hands were shoved deep into the pockets of her coat. She fingered the edges of the wrappers she’d placed in there earlier that day.

“Hmm, I hope he’s treating you right.”

Steve’s door was only a few feet away. She pulled up short and stepped to the side so Derek could go around her. She felt safer now that she was this close. Steve could hear her if she screamed. Derek was just a bully and a creep; he probably wasn’t actually dangerous, but he sure did put off the skeezy vibe. “Oh, yeah,” she agreed. “He’s treating me great. _So great_.”

Derek moved around her and walked over to his door several yards down the hall. “Is that so?” he asked when he stopped in front of his place. His body was facing the door, but his head was turned toward her. Even if Nat hadn’t clued her into the rumors Derek was spreading, Darcy could have guessed at his thoughts if the tone of his voice when he asked that three-word question was any indication. He didn’t believe for a second that Steve had it in him. He really did think Captain America was either repressed and afraid or incapable of having sex.

She hadn’t put any weight behind the thought when Nat had said it, but what if Steve was incapable? What if the serum fucked up his libido? Wouldn’t that be exactly what the government and army would want? A super soldier killing machine that didn’t have the desires and wasn’t susceptible to the vices that a normal man was. Darcy dismissed the thought just as soon as she’d picked it up. If he didn’t have a libido, then he wouldn’t have kissed her like _that_ when they’d been playing in the cafeteria. What if he had the desire, but couldn’t get it up? Is that why things with Sharon ended? Is that what Sharon had meant?

No, she decided, pushing the thoughts away. It wasn’t any of her business. It didn’t even matter, shouldn’t even matter.

Darcy pulled her hand out of her pocket to knock on Steve’s door and a string of six condoms rattled as they hit the floor. She looked down at the wrappers and then back up at Derek. His eyes went from the floor to her face, which she hoped was a study in embarrassed shock, and then back to the floor. Holding the coat closed around her neck, she snatched up the condoms. The gold wrappers flashed in the fluorescent light of the hall.

“Yikes,” she said, struggling to shove them back in her coat pocket. “Please forget you saw that.”

“Think you need that many?” he asked after an awkward moment of silence.

“Oh, well, super soldier and all.”

The blue light was flashing on the iris reader next to his door, but Derek seemed not to notice that the gadget had been activated by him stopping in front of it.

Ducking her head in embarrassment, Darcy knocked on Steve's door before glancing over at dickhead and saying, “It’s taking forever to get base security to move their asses and add me to his lock.” Darcy nodded at Steve's reader.

Derek opened his mouth, but nothing came out. “Right,” he said just before the door opened.

Steve was in a pair of dark gray sweatpants and a light blue tee that was at least one size too small, maybe two. She wasn't complaining, though. “Hey, baby,” she said, affecting what she hoped with a sexy voice. Darcy had never been one for typical avenues of seduction, so this was a bit out of her comfort zone.

“Darcy?” he asked, stepping up to the threshold. “I thought I heard you talking to someone out here.” Holding onto the door frame, he leaned forward and glanced to the left.

“Just your neighbor,” she said, tilting her head over to Derek.

The look Steve gave the other man put to rest any of Darcy's questions about where Steve Rogers stood on the subject of dickhead Derek. The contempt there was barely concealed. She wondered how Derek had managed to keep his job. Ultimately, all the guys in the field answered to Steve. “He ain't bothering you, is he?”

“Nope,” she said, reaching up to slide her arms over his wide shoulders. “But what _is_ bothering me is this new lingerie. It's itchy. I might need you rip it off real fast. You know, like a couple nights ago when we were out behind the equipment garage.”

“What?” he asked, his hands moving to her waist on what was probably instinct alone. His face said he was confused. Instead of letting him say anything else and blow her narrative, she grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down into a kiss.

Steve resisted for the briefest moment before he turned to putty in her hands. She tilted her head and slanted her mouth over his, kissing him and trying to make what was pretty tame look much wilder. It turned out she didn’t need to put forth the effort for long because he inhaled a sharp breath before engaging her in another kiss. This one was deeper and involved his hot tongue sweeping into her mouth. Steve tightened his hold on her until she was pressed up against his firm body from chest to knees. He was warm and hard with sure hands holding her waist and pliant lips that got her panties wet. She remembered back to him telling her he was a giver during dinner when he'd all but assured her that he was a fan of eating pussy. Now that was all she could think about as he slid his tongue over hers.

When Steve pulled away, he moved his hands up to her shoulders and pushed her back. “What are you wearing?” he asked, eyes glazed over with pleasure and maybe a little confusion still.

Darcy tried to clear her brain from the lusty fog he'd created with that kiss. She needed to remember why she was here. Derek was still standing at his door and watching them with an open mouth. “A raincoat. Want to see what's underneath?”

“Mmm, hmm,” Steve agreed.

She placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back into the foyer of his apartment. “Well, let's go to your bed, big boy. Unless you wanna do that thing you do to me in the shower again.”

“The thing in the shower?” he asked, lips still wet from their kiss.

“I’m surprised you didn’t drown down there,” she teased, glancing over at a gobsmacked Derek who still hadn’t managed to unlock his door.

Steve's eyes were wide and his mouth was open when she turned her attention back to him and stepped forward to press herself against his body. He went willingly and without any resistance, moving back into the apartment so she could follow him inside. Darcy kicked the door shut behind her and leaned against it.

“Hey, Steve,” she whispered, already feeling the flush of embarrassment over what she’d done creeping over her cheeks.

“What just happened?” he asked.

“A little narrative controlling,” she replied.

“Okay,” He licked his lips. “What’s under the coat?”

She smiled. “Wanna see?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ::evil grin:: Oops, did I stop the chapter there?


	10. Chapter 10

 

> _”Tell me, have you ever had a gentleman? If not then, girl, you deserve a gentleman.” - Gallant (Gentleman)_

Steve’s eyes were wide and his fingers were curled into his palms, clenched into fists and hanging at his sides. He looked a little curious and a little terrified at the prospect of seeing what she was wearing beneath the raincoat.

Darcy struggled a bit with the tie, her hands fumbling and nervous over the ridiculous show she’d just put on. Once she’d gotten the tie undone, she held the edges of the coat in either hand and looked up at Steve.

“Darcy, you don’t… you don’t have to… If you’re wearing… I mean, I shouldn’t…”

Smiling, she pulled the coat open and wiggled her body back and forth. For a moment, he looked like he might rush forward and pull the coat back around her. It only took a couple seconds for her undercover attire to sink into his consciousness. She’d put on a pair of jean shorts that wouldn’t show beneath the coat hem and an oversized and well-worn Purple Rain T-shirt that sported Prince with his iconic motorcycle.

Darcy watched Steve’s conflicted emotions melt away into amusement as he bent over and placed his hands on his knees while he chuckled. “You got me, too,” he told her between bouts of laughter.

She was trying to suppress her giggles as she shrugged the coat off and dropped it on the table by his door before moving over to him. “Shh,” she whispered. “Don’t laugh so loud. I don’t know how much your neighbor can hear, and we’re supposed to be getting it on right now. You know, sexy sounds not funny sounds.”

He pushed himself up to a standing position, sobering quickly. “What are you talking about, Darcy?”

“I’m talking about dickhead Derek. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard his loud mouth through these thin walls.”

The corners of Steve’s mouth turned down. “Yeah, I have.”

“Have you heard him having sex?”

“Darcy,” Steve said, shaking his head.

She waved away his chivalrous attempt at protecting her nonexistent modesty. “So, you have. He’s probably loud and gross about it.”

“Yes, I have,” Steve finally agreed. “And, yes, he is.”

“Ugh, who would have sex with _him_? Bottom of the barrel,” Darcy grumbled.

Steve put his hands on his hips and said, “What is this about?”

“A little birdy told me that–”

“Which little birdy?” he asked before she could continue.

Darcy looked at him for a long moment, trying to measure whether she could get away with not answering the question and then realizing that she didn’t _want_ to keep secrets from Steve. “Nat,” she replied.

“Okay,” he said, nodding for her to continue.

“So, she said that dickhead Derek was talking shit on you because he heard Sam’s extracurricular activities, but not yours.”

“What extracurricular activities?” Steve asked.

Darcy widened her eyes at him. “Uh, _sex_.”

She saw the contraction of his throat when he swallowed and dropped his gaze to the floor at her feet.

When Steve didn’t say anything, she continued. “So, he’s hearing Sam and Nat doing their thing, but he’s not hearing you and me doing our thing. Sooooooo, he’s out there being the jelliest of the jellies and telling his team that you can’t get it up and that Sharon left you because you’re bad or nonexistent in bed or blah blah blah. You get the picture.”

Steve looked up with a stormy expression on his face and held out a hand. “Wait, he’s trying to listen to us? He’s being that disrespectful to you?”

He moved to walk around her, but Darcy put a hand on his chest. “Woah there, buddy,” she said walking backward to the door with both hands on his very nice and very hard chest. “Steve, stop.”

He took his eyes off the door and looked down at her. “I don’t like it, Darcy. He has no right to talk about you like that.”

“He’s not talking about me. He’s talking about you and your sexual prowess or lack thereof to make himself feel like the top dog.”

Steve frowned. “But he is talking about you and your sex life since you’re supposed to be seeing me.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Look, if we were really hooking up, then I’d announce that shit on the P.A. system and let the entire base know. I don’t give a shit if he’s speculating about me. Didn’t you hear what I just said? He’s saying Sharon broke up with you because you couldn’t do the thing or you do it badly.”

Steve waved away the comment. “Sharon and I broke up because I’m selfish and stupid.” He turned away from her and sighed deeply.

His comment surprised Darcy. “Wait, what? You cheated on her?”

He turned around and said, “What?”

“You were selfish and stupid. That usually means you cheated.”

“I was _not_ unfaithful.” When she didn’t respond, he shifted his weight from one foot to another and added, “I let what I do get between us. I let this life get between us.”

“Oh,” Darcy replied.

Steve exhaled a sharp breath and turned his back on her again. “I really don’t like him speculating about you and I. It’s not fair to you. This isn’t your problem; it’s mine. We’ve gone too far with it.”

“Steve, come on. I don’t care about dickhead Derek. Fuck him. Not, like, literally fuck him, but… fuck him. I can’t write him up or fire him or even kick his ass. But I can make him feel like an idiot.”

“I don’t think he feels like an idiot, Darcy. I think he might be jealous.” Steve turned to face her again.

She snorted. “I’m not his type.” When Steve raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to call her bluff, she added, “Well, maybe his type in a pinch. But I’m not first pick. Apparently, there are copious other women on this base with shit for brains who are willing to ride _that_ gross rodeo.”

“Darcy.” There was that warning tone. That tone that said this is getting into territory he wasn’t comfortable treading in.

“Regardless, he’s an asshole and it felt good to fuck with his mind and make him think that he was wrong about you. Because you’re not his business.” She tilted her head to the side and watched Steve for a long moment before saying, “Why don’t you give him the boot?”

“I recommended it months ago, but we don’t think any of his guys could step into the position. He’s good at his job, and Fury is concerned he’d be a detriment to the Agency if he were removed from his position. His attitude between missions has been less than great, but not a serious problem that affects the success of missions.”

Darcy wrinkled her nose. “Bummer.” She leaned back against the door and said, “Look, I’m sorry if I made trouble for you, Steve. I just thought it would put him in his place and he’d stop talking shit about you if he saw that....” Laughing, she waved a hand in the air and finished with, “If he saw whatever that was.”

Steve’s gaze was steady and his face impassive for a long moment. Finally, he smiled and shook his head at her. “I can’t believe you went this far out of your way, Darcy.”

“I might be a little impulsive.”

“I’d say so,” he agreed.

“Are you mad?”

He looked at the floor between them before lifting his gaze to her. “Nah, sweetheart. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.”

The term of endearment and the sweet smile on his face made her weak in the knees. “You gotta admit, that dumb expression on his face was pretty funny.”

“I didn’t know my life was so interesting.”

“Well, your sex life seems to be pretty interesting to everyone around here.”

“It’s awkward,” he agreed.

“Funny you should mention awkwardness because things are about to get really awkward in stage two of my plan,” Darcy said, pushing off the wall and walking toward Steve.

He looked just a little afraid of her. “Stage two? I thought the plan was to show off at the door and let him make some assumptions about what’s happening right now.”

“That’s stage one. Stage two is us faking it.”

His eyes widened. “ _What_?”

She pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her shorts and said, “What’s your network password?”

“Darcy, what are you talking about?”

“Your password.”

He snapped his mouth shut on the next question and said, “Uh, it’s Bucky.”

She furrowed her brows. “Just Bucky? Steve, this is a terrible password. You need to throw some numbers or symbols in that shit. Isn’t Bucky the nickname of your friend, one of the Howling Commandos?” She snapped her fingers when she remembered his name. “James Barnes.”

Steve cleared his throat. “Yes. He’s my best friend.”

“Is?”

“Yeah, he’s… still alive in Wakanda, actually.” When Darcy lifted her brows in question he said, “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you someday.”

“But not today.”

He smiled softly at her. “But not today. Today we’re talking about stage two.”

“Shit. Right.” Darcy plugged his password into her phone so she could connect to the network inside his apartment for purposes of providing music appropriate for sex with the hottest guy she’d ever met.

Steve stepped closer to look over her shoulder. “Darcy, what is stage two?”

She just smiled at him and pulled up The Isley Brothers’ song Between the Sheets. The smooth synthesizers sounded almost lewd from the very beginning. Turning the volume up enough that she was sure Derek could get the general idea about the nature of the music, she looked at Steve and smiled. “Stage two is sexy music and maybe some sexy noises.”

Steve no longer looked afraid; he seemed more amused at her hijinks than anything. “Okay,” he agreed, trying to hide that little grin on his face.

“Glad to have you on board, Cap.”

“Steve,” he corrected.

“Steeeeeeve,” she replied, dragging his name out and batting her eyelashes at him. “Now for the bedroom.”

He looked to her right at a dark doorway. “Uh, why my bedroom?”

“Oh my god, do you share a bedroom wall with him?” she asked, moving toward the door.

“Yes,” Steve said as he followed her.

“Even better.” Darcy flipped on the light.

The only illumination was from a bedside lamp on his nightstand. The wattage was low and the room was intimate. His headboard was against the shared wall. Along the interior wall was a chest of drawers that had a pile of folded shirts resting on its top. The bed frame and nightstands were a dark wood, similar to her furniture. Steve Rogers might have scored the corner apartment with more windows, but he wasn’t being fussy about furniture and other amenities. He seemed to have not much more than anyone else.

The only thing that _was_ different was an easel and table near the window. The table was small and covered with art supplies—paint, colored pencils, loose pieces of charcoal, brushes lying next to a paint-splattered glass jar. “Oh,” Darcy said dumbly when her eyes swept up to the canvas on the easel and saw her face.

Steve cleared his throat and moved to stand between her and the easel. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I forgot… I forgot that was out or I would have…”

“Would have what?” she asked, stepping around him and staring at a portrait that looked strikingly like her.

“Would have warned you. Would have put it away.” He followed her over to the painting. “I like to paint. I paint a lot.”

“You’re really good,” she said, leaning closer, looking at the brush strokes that made up her hair. He'd painted it like the wind was blowing it over her shoulder. The Darcy on the canvas was smiling, her eyes crinkled up in happiness.

“I don’t want you to think I’m weird,” he told her.

As the piece of art settled into her brain and the shock of seeing it wore off, she started having the thoughts that Steve probably assumed she’d been having all along. Why was he painting portraits of her? What did that mean? What did that say about their strange friendship? Probably nothing. Like he said, he paints a lot. He probably ran out of fruit bowls and trees and decided to try people. There was little doubt she could go through his past works and find plenty of the other people in his life. It didn’t really mean anything. “We’re all weird,” Darcy told him with a dismissive wave. “I mean, I probably look weird as hell in these heels and shorts.”

“You look fine, Darcy. You always do,” he said, trying to insinuate himself between her and the painting. He didn’t like that she’d seen it, and he was uncomfortable with her being near it. Maybe he was sensitive about his art, maybe he was embarrassed.

She stepped back and slipped her shoes off, leaving them on his bedroom floor. The song was almost finished, but she had the next selection cued up. Steve pulled the canvas off the easel and leaned it against the wall in the darkest corner of the room. “It’s a good painting, Steve. Really, it’s amazing. I don’t know anyone who has your kind of talent.”

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweats and gave her a strained smile. “Thanks, Darcy. If you want it… If you want the portrait when I’m done, you’re welcome to it.”

“So I can be like one of those stuffy rich people who has portraits of myself hanging in my drawing room? Fuck yeah, I want it.”

“What happened to your shoes?” he asked, looking at her bare feet.

“Talking about them made me remember that they’re uncomfortable.”

“Why wear them?”

“For the seduction, silly. They’re shoes to get laid with.”

“Ah, okay.” He still seemed a bit uncomfortable with her. She wondered why her seeing the painting had upset him so much. He really was an amazing artist, and she really didn’t have the wrong idea about why he painted her. She knew it wasn't some pining and secretly in love with her thing. He was just looking for a subject and they'd been spending a lot of time together. She'd hoped that diverting attention to her shoes would have helped, but he was still very obviously on edge.

The unmistakable bass line of Teddy Pendergrass’ Love TKO came on and Darcy stepped over to Steve's headboard, flashing him a devious smile.

“Darcy, what are you doing?”

She pressed her index finger over her lips to quiet him. “Don't you think the headboard would be smacking against the wall if we're getting it on?” Darcy whispered.

Steve looked both scandalized and amused when he shook his head. “Never gave much thought to the headboard in that kind of situation.”

Instead of replying, she reached out and put her hand on the piece of wood that ran along the top of the headboard. Tentatively, she bounced it off the wall Steve shared with Derek. She repeated the movement with more force this time.

She glanced over her shoulder to flash Steve a cheesy smile. He was doing a poor job of hiding his own smile while he shook his head. “This is crazy, Darcy,” he said over the sexy, thudding baseline of the music.

“Oh, come on. Have a little fun, Steve,” she replied as she climbed onto the head of the bed, kneeling on his pillow and rhythmically banging the headboard off the wall.

When she looked over her shoulder, she could see Steve' wide smile and the amusement in his eyes. He was still shaking his head at her with those gorgeous arms crossed over his chest. “You think he’ll buy that?” he asked.

“Sure.This and my little naked-under-this-coat outfit and our makeout sesh in your doorway. It's all part of the whole ambiance. I'm an artist.” She kept her voice low so dickhead Derek couldn’t hear her words even if he could hear her voice.

Steve chuckled. “I see.”

Darcy shifted on his bed and continued to bang the headboard off the wall. When Steve cleared his throat, she looked over her shoulder again. “What?” she asked.

“You’re going a little fast, don’t you think?”

She widened her eyes at him.” Excuse me?”

Smiling, Steve said, “A little fast with the headboard.”

She paused and shifted her position on the bed so she could better see him, one knee on his pillow and one on the mattress. “Like I started too fast or the pace is too fast?”

“The pace.”

Darcy wondered if super soldiers came with a super sense of smell or if his super hearing extended to hearing her heartbeat. If either were true, then he could no doubt hear her galloping heart or smell the unmistakable scent of her arousal. After a dumbfounded moment in which she stared back with her mouth hanging open, she recovered by saying, “Ahh, you’re a slow and steady guy. Got it.”

She could hear and feel the rumble of Steve’s chuckle as she resumed with her headboard banging, but with strokes that were slower and deliberate. “Better?” she asked, looking over at him. He was at the foot of the bed now, and his eyes were on her legs. The smile was gone from his face, and he looked far away like they weren’t even in the same room. “Earth to Steve.”

He jerked his head as if to clear his thoughts and smiled at her again. “Yes, better.”

“So, like, how long? You’re all jacked up on that serum. Did it extend the longevity or reduce the refractory period?”

He shook his head again, but he was still grinning. “I’m not answering that.”

“It’s for the sake of your rep, Steve. We need to make this authentic.”

He tilted his head to the side and watched her with that little half smirk on his face. With his arms still crossed over his chest, he looked like a wet dream in which she’d been a very bad girl and he was going to show her exactly how bad. “Both,” he finally replied.

Darcy almost swallowed her tongue. “Oh, yeah?” she said, not realizing that the rhythm of the headboard against the wall had stuttered.

“Yep.”

“Steve Rogers, here I was thinking you’re nothing but a sweet gentleman who would never ever discuss such salacious topics.”

“You’re in my bed and you asked,” he replied in a matter-of-fact voice. Weird thoughts started pinging around her head. What if she goaded him a bit more? What if she suggested they make that headboard bounce for real? What if she reached down and pulled her shirt over her head? What would he do? Because the way he was looking at her right now made her feel like she might get exactly what she wanted as long as what she wanted was a very hot roll in the hay with sexy Steve.

She laughed nervously and shook the thoughts from her head. “Good to know that dickhead Derek was wrong and your breakup with Sharon had nothing to do with your sexual prowess.”

“Is it?”

Darcy furrowed her brows. “Is it what?”

“Is it good to know?”

God, she was playing with fire. She had no idea Steve Rogers was such a fucking fox. Sweet, hand-holding Steve who blushed at her off-color humor was looking like he was going to eat her. And he’d already admitted during one of their earlier dinners that he was a fan of giving pleasure in that regard.

“Sure is,” she finally answered as she sped up the banging headboard. When she glanced over to where Steve was, she found he’d disappeared. She caught sight of his back as he left the room, shoulders tense and head down. Darcy licked her lips and slowed down the banging, giving one or two final thrusts before slipping off the bed and pulling her hair into a ponytail. Was it hot in his place or what?

She waved her hands around her face and the back of her neck before walking back into the living area to find Steve. He was standing in the kitchen with his back to her and his hand braced on the countertop.

“Hey. Did I go too far?” she asked.

He turned around and offered her a bottle of water that was on the counter. She couldn't read his expression. “No, you're fine, perfect.”

Darcy took the water and uncapped it. The tension in his place was through the roof, and she wasn't sure why or even what had caused it. For some reason, she got the distinct impression he wasn't happy with her. Maybe he was still sore about her seeing his artwork. “Thanks,” she told him, taking a long drink from the bottle. “I should get my coat and slink home. I kinda showed up unannounced and crashed your evening.”

She screwed the cap on and walked back into his bedroom to find her shoes. With the bottle under her arm and her shoes in her right hand, she returned to the foyer to grab her coat from the table by the door.

“Night, Steve,” she said.

Before she could touch the doorknob, she felt an arm wrap around her midsection and her feet lift off the floor. He pulled her back into his body.

“Stay for a bit,” he said in her ear before he sat her down on her feet again.

The brief feel of his body pressed against hers was delicious. “Okay,” she replied, feeling like her mind was slow and dumb, incapable of dealing with him in that way.

“You want something to eat?” Steve asked.

“No,” she replied, dropping her shoes and holding up her bottle of water. “I’m good with this.”

Steve moved into the living room, his hands on his hips. “I was thinking about coming down to see you this evening. You weren’t in the lab this morning.”

Following him, Darcy settled onto the couch and folded her legs underneath her. “I was out sending a letter.”

“For Dr. Foster?” Steve sat down on the opposite end of the couch but angled his body toward her.

“It’s kinda silly,” Darcy admitted. “We’re having trouble with the slingshot. Jane knows a lot about physics and space and all that shit, but she’s not an engineer or an electronics wizard. I was thinking about who might be able to help that had some idea of what is going on. I mean, this is all a shot in the dark because we don’t know him, but I wrote a letter to Tony Stark.”

Steve nodded slowly. “He’s a good person to ask. How’d you get Fury to agree to it? We’re operating outside the U.S. government.”

“Well, that’s the thing. I kinda didn’t ask permission. I rented a mailbox at this postal store in Helsinki last week. It was the only place that would take cash and didn’t require ID. The return address is the box there.” Darcy cringed. “Are you gonna turn me in?”

Chuckling, Steve shook his head. “No, doll. I ain’t turning you in.”

“You know him, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he’ll try to track us down and report back to the United Nations or something? Did I fuck up?”

Steve shook his head. “No, I don’t think he will. Tony’s always been someone who does things his own way. I think you did a good thing. I think he’ll help you. How’d you get his address?”

“Umm, well, Nat. I lied to her about why I needed it. I feel a little bad about that since I think maybe she decided to be my friend and that’s really fucking awesome.”

This made him smile. “You might have lied to her, but she knew what you were doing. I’m sure she knows exactly why you asked for the address, and that’s why she gave it to you.”

Darcy rested her head on the back of the couch. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“What do you think about her and Sam?”

Steve’s eyes were kind and his smile genuine when he said, “I’m happy for them. Wish they wouldn’t feel like they need to hide it, but I understand why they think that’s for the best. Relationships in this, uh, line of work are tough.”

“What line of work are you in? Saving the world?”

He dropped his gaze like talking about it made him bashful. He didn’t like taking credit for all those amazing things he’d accomplished. He was a leader, but he didn’t necessarily want to be; it was just who he was inside. She doubted he could change it if he tried. “Defense of the planet,” he told her, a sly smile playing on his mouth. “That’s the line of work I’m in.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “like I said, saving the world. Why do Nat and Sam feel like they gotta hide the thing they got going on?”

Steve flicked his gaze back up to her face. “It’s probably more her than him. She’s been through a lot, doesn’t trust easily, had almost everything taken away. I think she feels protective of what they have. I don’t blame her.”

“Do you think it bothers Sam?”

“Probably.”

Darcy frowned. “So, why doesn’t he tell her?”

Steve shook his head. “Maybe it ain’t that important to him right now. Maybe he’s trying to let her have her way because he cares about her. Maybe he thinks that’s the only way he can be in her life. I don’t know. You’d have to ask him.”

“You’re a good friend,” Darcy told him.

“Thanks, Darcy,” he said, all the sincerity in the world in his blue eyes.

“You’re a good _guy_.”

“I’m not sure everyone would agree.”

“Like who? Sharon?”

His gaze dropped again and she almost took her question back. Before she could, he said, “Yeah, probably.”

“Sorry,” she told him, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Steve lifted his gaze again, and said, “No, it’s okay. I’d like to talk to someone about it, and you feel like a good person to talk to.”

The warmth of his regard made her dizzy for a moment. How in the world had she earned the title of Steve Roger’s confidant? Why in the world did he have this much trust in her? “You wanna talk, I’m your girl.”

Her comment made him give her a sad quirk of his lips. “She didn’t like the way I…” Steve sighed. “She said I rush headlong into danger. Those were her words. She said I always did that. She said I never thought about the consequences, never thought about her.”

Darcy thought about Jane and her ultimatum to Thor. She wanted to hate Sharon, to consider her the bitch who broke Steve Rogers’ heart, but things weren’t so cut and dry. “Well, you do have the rushing into danger thing on lock.”

He looked miserable. “Yes, I do.”

After watching him for a long moment, waiting for him to continue, she realized he wasn't going to defend himself. It made her heart break a little. “Hey,” she said, “tell me why you do it.”

“I just… can't stop myself. It's always been that way. It feels like I'm not being authentic or… like I'm not who I am inside of I don't do something when I see something. If I can help, then how can I just stand aside? I don't know how people can do that.” He exhaled a breath that sounded almost disgusted.” I wish I could just… let it go sometimes.” Letting out a bitter laugh, he added, “Even saying that made me feel like an asshole. How can I just stand by when I could help?”

“What about the person you love? The person who loves you? Don't you want to help them, be there for them?” she asked, trying to make her question kind and not accusatory.

“Does it make me a bad person if I don't think about that?” he replied.

Darcy raised her brows in surprise. “Do you not think about that?”

Wincing, Steve said, “Well, I don't know. Maybe. I guess I just think… I think if I can stop the situation. If I can squash the last of HYDRA or take out homicidal robots or end aliens invasions… if I can do that then the world will be better for the people I love. That's my contribution. That's what I'm good for.”

“What if they don't want the world without you in it.”

He looked away. Discomfort was written all over his face, was painfully visible in the tension in his body. “Never thought of it that way.”

Darcy frowned. “Why?”

His jaw tightened and he gave a stiff shake of his head. “Because that ain't true. They're better off without me. My ma always said I did nothin’ but attract trouble.”

If her heart was aching before, it was downright shattered in pieces now. She'd never once considered the idea that Steve Rogers, the man who always seemed so confident, so capable, thought of himself as useless when it came to a relationship or love. “Why would you say that?” she asked in a soft voice.

His brows were drawn to together as if he were thinking hard or maybe was in pain. “Peggy lived a good life without me. She fell in love and had a family and… she was successful. I don't know if things would have turned out so well if she'd wasted her time on me. I'd always be running out the door toward something. That ain't no way to treat a woman.”

“You can't choose for someone, you know. You can't tell someone who loves you that they're better off without you. That's a shitty way to deal with it.”

His eyes were so very clear and also immeasurably sad when he looked at her and said, “But it's true. Why not let that person move on and have a life without this baggage? Why not save the world so they can be happy in that life?”

“Stop being so self-sacrificing, you asshole,” Darcy snapped.

He laughed softly and dropped his chin to his chest.

“Are you still in love with her?”

“Sharon?” he asked without looking at her.

“Who else?”

Steve sighed. “I care about Sharon. I want the best for her.”

“And?”

He shook his head just the slightest bit. “What I felt for Peggy… I never felt that for Sharon. I ain't surprised she left. I wasn't slowing down for her and I think she knew my heart wasn't in it. I thought it should be. I tried. She's a great girl.”

His admission knocked Darcy for a loop. “I thought you've been broken up about her for months.”

“Guess I'm more broken up about losing something I thought I wanted. I feel like someone else, someone I wasn't before I went in the ice.”

Darcy shifted forward and reached out a hand to tap his knee. “Hey, things change us. I'm not the girl I was when I took an internship with Erik and Jane.”

“Yeah? I think you changed for the better, doll. I didn't know you back then, but you're amazing now. I ain't ever met anyone like you.”

She blinked away what felt like tears burning in her eyes. Since when had anyone, much less one of the best people she'd ever met, given her such high praise? Never. “My dad always said I was an odd bird.”

Steve smiled and finally looked up at her face. “You're perfect, doll. Just perfect.”

Darcy laughed and wiped away the stupid wetness gathering on her lower eyelid. “Don't sell yourself short, Steve. You deserve more than the title of the world's biggest martyr.” When he didn't respond, she said, “Remember how I told you that Jane gave Thor an ultimatum? Well, she regrets it. It's been years and she's still in love with him so hard that she cries over him. Maybe Sharon wasn't ever going to be that person for you, but I don't think you should rule out trying to be with someone you want to be with just because of what you do. I don't think you should choose for that person like Thor did, like Jane made him do.”

Steve chewed in his lower lip and stared at the cushion between them. “I'll think about it,” he finally said. “Thanks for the advice, doll.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve might not be faking much, but he's got his own hang-ups that are holding him back. :-(
> 
> Thank you to all you lovely people who have commented on this fic to let me know you're reading and enjoying it. I appreciate you all. "See" you tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11

 

> _These arms of mine are burning, burning from wanting you.” - Otis Redding (These Arms of Mine)_

Darcy was dragging the next morning. She was halfway through a large coffee by the time she walked into the lab. Jane was bent over a mess of papers already. “How's it going?”

Jane looked up. “I feel like I’m so close. I just can’t… can’t put my thumb on it.”

Sliding the other coffee in her hands onto the corner of Jane’s desk, Darcy said, “I wish my brain worked like yours and then I could help you.”

“Darcy, shut up,” Jane replied. “Don’t disparage yourself like that.”

“I feel like we’re running out of time. Do you feel that way? It’s like… I don’t know. Something is in the air, like a big clock ticking down.” Darcy rubbed her eyes and sat down in her swivel chair, turning it so she could see her friend. “Is that crazy?”

Jane’s expression was serious when she said, “No. Sometimes I feel that way, too. Fury was in here last night. He wants another trial. I don’t think it will work, Dar. I really don’t. There isn’t enough energy.”

“Well, fuck,” Darcy said before taking a long drink from her coffee cup. “So what do we do? Hope Tony Stark wants to be our pen pal? Wait?”

“I’ll call Erik again,” Jane said.

The two woman sat in silence for several minutes. Darcy booted up her computer and finished her coffee while Jane shuffled through the printed data on her desk.

Finally, Jane said, “I heard about your extracurricular activities yesterday evening,” without even looking up.

Darcy’s eyes widened. “Did it get around that fast? Guess we know dickhead Derek is the biggest gossip in town.”

“Are you sleeping with him now?”

“Derek? Fuck no.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Darcy, don’t be obtuse. Steve.”

“It’s an ‘unfortunately no’ on that one.”

“Apparently someone heard a lot of noise–”

“Nope,” Darcy said, cutting her friend off. “That was me playing Teddy Pendergrass and bouncing the headboard off the wall with my hand. Steve’s manly thrusts were in no way responsible for any of that racket.”

Jane shook her head. “I don’t know why you’re doing this, Darcy. I can see you like him and I know you’re worried about getting hurt. Why complicate it? Why do this to yourself?”

Darcy felt like shit. She’d left Steve’s place shortly after their conversation. He’d offered to walk her to her door, but she declined. It wouldn’t have helped her feelings for him. She was in too deep, thinking about when she’d get to see him next before she’d even left him. Things were definitely muddled in her head, and he wasn’t really in the friend category any longer. It just sucked because he was never going to be anything more than that to her, regardless of the way she felt. Maybe she could have deluded herself during those moments when he looked at her a certain way or said something that made her think her feelings might be reciprocated. However, the previous night made her realize exactly how damaged he was. Even if he wanted to be with someone, he couldn’t seem to allow himself the pleasure or privilege. His comment about his selfish behavior ending things with Sharon made so much more sense now.

But was it really selfish behavior? The man was selfless to a fault. To a _fault_. His problem was that he wasn’t selfish at all. Things were never about him; he’d throw himself over the grenade if it meant that the woman he loved could continue her life untouched so she could fall in love with another man. Another nameless, faceless man who Steve thought would make her happier than he ever could. How fucking sad was that? And how could you ever make someone like him understand that sometimes you need to put your own happiness first?

She looked up to see Jane waiting for a response to her questions. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” Darcy admitted. “I’ve fucked this all up, and I’m in too deep. Please do _not_ say you told me so because I totally know that already.”

Jane gave her a sad smile, full of sympathy and love. Darcy wanted to go over and give her friend a hug. Instead, she blinked back tears and rearranged the toys on her desk to keep her hands busy.

“Are you in love with him?” Jane asked.

Instead of answering right away, Darcy sighed and rubbed her eyes with closed fists to wipe away the wetness that threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. “No,” she said before amending it with, “maybe,” and finally deciding on, “probably.” She put her forehead on her desk and said, “I don’t fucking know.”

“You do,” Jane said. “You look too miserable for it not to be love.”

“Thanks,” Darcy replied, her voice dry.

Jane laughed, but it sounded more sad than joyful. “It sucks so bad, doesn’t it, Dar?”

Darcy’s laughter was bitter, too. “Yep, Janie, it does suck so bad. I don’t think he’s capable of dealing with it, you know. Like, even if he were into me in that way, I don’t think he could make a relationship happen. It’s like he can’t stop himself.”

“Stop himself from what?”

“From sacrificing himself for the greater good or some bullshit. You know who Peggy Carter is?”

Jane nodded. “Thor said Steve was in love with her.”

“Yeah, well, I think that whole thing fucked up his head some. He died or whatever,” she said using air quotes for the word died, “and got frozen for a few decades. Peggy moved on and married and had kids. Those kids had grandkids. She had a successful career, lived to be in her nineties. Like a _good_ life, you know?”

“Right,” Jane agreed.

“He thinks that he couldn’t have given that to her. He thinks his purpose was to save the world so she could be happy with someone else who doesn’t do what he does.”

Jane looked at her desk for a long moment, her eyes unfocused and vacant. “Maybe he’s right.”

“ _What_?”

Jane held up a hand to stall Darcy’s question. “Maybe Peggy wasn’t his someone.”

“Jane Foster, you sack of shit,” Darcy replied. “You are _not_ a romantic. You are a cold-blooded scientist. Are you trying to talk to me about soulmates?”

Laughing, Jane said, “Hey, I’m in love with a god-slash-alien from another universe. I’m pretty sure that requires that I believe in soulmates.”

Darcy scrunched up her nose in thought. “Hmm, okay. True, true. I see where you’re coming from. But I don’t think I believe in soulmates.”

“I’m mostly joking, Darcy. I mean, obviously, Steve and Peggy were two ships passing in the night. They never were able to connect or whatever. Maybe he built it up in his head to be something it was never going to be. Maybe it’s tragic that it never happened. I don’t know. That doesn’t change that fact that it’s in the past.”

“I know,” Darcy replied. “But it feels like it was just yesterday for him.”

“Yeah, that’s messed up,” Jane agreed.

“Do you regret Thor?”

“Regret what?”

“Regret getting involved with him? Regret the ultimatum that ended things?”

Jane pulled in a deep breath before saying, “No, I’d never regret loving him. I mean, I joke about it. Sometimes I tell myself I wish it had never happened, but if someone told me I could erase it… I don’t think I could do that.”

“And ending things?”

“Yes,” Jane said, “I regret that. Talking with you about it made me realize some things.”

“Like what?”

“Like maybe he’s trying to do what Steve does, but for slightly different reasons. He’s stuck on his duty, his birthright, protecting his people. Sometimes I think he thinks he’s protecting me, too, but it gets really frustrating.”

Darcy shrugged. “Well, he probably is.”

“I don’t think I expressed myself well enough when he and I last spoke. And I was hurting, too,” Jane said. “I was trying to make it black and white, but it isn’t. I just don’t know how to say I want you to live for me, not die for me.”

“If you could do it over?”

“Yeah,” Jane said, “I’d do it differently.”

Darcy looked at her friend, at how Jane looked like she was grieving his death. “He’ll be back around this way one day, Janie. You should take that opportunity to tell him.”

“I don’t know about that, Dar. He’s been gone a long time. What if he’s dead?”

“I feel like you’d know.”

“How would I know?” Jane asked.

“Don’t you think you would?”

Sighing, Jane said, “Yeah. Maybe I would.”

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy sat in the parking lot of the postal store with the package on her lap. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered to herself. The slender brown box contained bubble wrap and a cell phone. And not just any cell phone; it was a brand new Stark Phone of a model she'd never seen. A blank cream-colored card had been wrapped up with the phone. The handwriting on it was messy with short, quick strokes. The only text was a phone number.

After several days of waiting, she'd returned to Helsinki to check the mailbox. Darcy had expected to find no response, so the brown box gave her nothing but anxiety. She sat in the parking lot and considered her options. Her letter to Tony Stark could have been intercepted and this cell phone could be tracked. She could lead whoever back to the Agency's base. Or maybe Tony Stark was looking for a way to get his revenge on Steve. Darcy had heard the stories about the rift in the friendship if anyone could even call it that. She'd never met Stark, but he was a well-known public figure, and she didn't see how he and Steve had ever seen eye to eye after getting to know Steve.

She made sure the Stark Phone wasn't on; she even pulled the battery before making a call on her own phone.

“Hello?”

“Jane, I need you to do something for me.”

“Did you get a response?” Jane asked, excitement in her voice.

“Yes, but it's a phone. I don't know if it will compromise us if I bring it back. I need you to find Steve.”

“Why Steve? I thought you said you were done with him. You haven't talked in four days.” It was true, painfully so. Steve had been in the wind since the night they'd talked until almost midnight in his apartment, the night he'd confessed to the reason his relationship with Sharon had failed. Darcy wondered if it was because he'd said too much or if maybe he picked up on her feelings and didn't want to deal with them. Or maybe he was just plain done with her. They'd solved his problem. Dickhead Derek had spread the word far and wide that Cap was banging the chick from the Estrogen Lab.

“I don't wanna confess my fucking love to him, Jane. I need to know what to do. Fury will flip his fucking lid if you go to him. Nat is in Russia on a mission.”

“Where do I find him?”

Darcy groaned. “I don't know, Jane. Just find him. Use your big brain to track his ass down.”

“Fine,” Jane snapped. “I'll call you back in a minute.”

It was actually seven minutes. Seven long minutes in which Darcy sat in the parking lot and thought each passing person was an operative sent to nab her and torture her until she gave up the location of the Agency's base to the U.S. government or some other nefarious political body that was hell bent on reigning in what was left of the Avengers.

When her phone finally did ring, she almost shot through the roof. “Jane, did you find him?” she asked after accepting the call.

“Darcy? What's going on?” It was Steve's unmistakable voice.

“Oh, thank god,” she muttered. “I need you to tell me what to do,” Darcy said before explaining that she'd received a response and had no idea what to do with the phone.

“Stay where you are, Darcy,” Steve said. “I'll be there in a few minutes.”

She could already hear him moving. “Steve. Stop. You can't exactly fly some crazy jet into Helsinki.”

“I'll take a vehicle.”

“I'll meet you halfway. It takes two hours to get down here. If this thing has a tracker on it, that's half the time for them to find it.”

“Sweetheart, if it has an activated tracker, then they already know where you are. I need you to leave it in the car and walk away. Find a place to lay low. Text me where you'll be. I'll come get you.”

“Do you think I fucked up?” she asked as she shoved the box under her jacket in the passenger seat.

A car door slammed on his end of the line. “No, sweetheart. Everything will be fine. We just don't wanna take any chances. Wish you woulda told me you were going down to check the box. Woulda gone with you.”

“Would you have?” she challenged him, getting out of the car. “I haven't seen you for four days.”

He was silent for a very long moment. She could hear the hum of a motor. “I'm sorry, Darcy.” His voice was soft and sounded genuine.

She tried not to appear suspicious as she walked away from the car. “Don't sweat it,” she told him. “I shouldn't have said that. You don't owe me anything.”

“That ain't true, Darcy. I'm… I’ve been trying to figure some things out. Nothing’s black and white, you know. Nothing’s easy.”

“I know,” she agreed. “Nothing is easy. Can you hurry up? I'll text you where I am in an hour when you're closer.”

“Stay safe for me, doll. I'll be there soon.”

He hadn’t lied. She was aimlessly browsing the aisles of a large bookstore almost a mile away from her car when she felt a hand on the small of her back. She turned around, throwing her fists up to defend herself or push her potential abductor back before she realized the person behind her was Steve.

“Hey,” she said, letting her arms fall to her sides. “I thought it’d take you longer to get down here.”

“I drove fast,” he murmured. Another customer came down the aisle, forcing Steve to step closer to her. He smelled good—like soap and leather and _man_ —and he was in street clothes. The jeans and plain white tee fit him perfectly, and his black leather jacket made him look just sexy enough. She wanted to kick herself for lusting after him at such a nerve-racking time, but a potential run-in with the US government and apprehension agents couldn’t distract from how good he looked. “You okay?” he asked, looking down at her.

“Yeah. Everything has been quiet. The car is about a mile away in a parking lot. I think I fucked up because I didn’t lock it when I left. I was freaking out.”

Steve reached out and took her hand in his. “It’s okay, Darcy. Come on, let’s go check it out.”

His hand was warm and dry and comforting. No wonder people followed him; he was a natural leader, calming and competent. When they stepped outside and slipped into the nondescript, small SUV, she said, “Where’s your team?”

“Didn’t bring one,” Steve replied, putting the vehicle into gear.

“Turn left out of here. It’s a straight shot on this road,” she told him. “Why didn’t you bring a team?”

“Don’t think I need one,” he replied. “You got the address from Nat, so I’m sure it goes directly to Tony. You were safe, sent the letter anonymously. The response came to the box you rented here.”

“What if Tony is still working with the government to locate you. Aren’t you considered a criminal?”

“If the phone is from Tony, then we don’t need to worry about that. Not his style. Maybe he wants to help you.”

“So, why are you rushing down here to help me if you think it’s safe?”

“Just want to make sure you’re safe,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

Darcy turned her head to look out the passenger window. “Have you been avoiding me?”

“What?” Steve asked.

“Avoiding me,” she repeated. “You’ve been on base for the past four days, but I haven’t seen you. If you’re done pretending that we’re dating, then just let me know.”

When she glanced over at his profile, his jaw was tense. “It ain’t about that. Like I said, I’ve been trying to figure things out.”

“You think Sharon will take you back?” It hurt her heart to ask the question, but she needed to rip the bandaid off.

Steve flicked his eyes over to her and then back to the road. “No, that ain’t ever gonna work out.”

“Because she won’t forgive you?”

“Because it ain’t what I want.”

His answer knocked her back on her proverbial heels. “Oh. Okay.”

“Our conversation got me thinking–-”

“Turn here,” she told him, interrupting.

“No,” Steve replied, “I’m gonna drop you off a few blocks away. I want you to wait while I turn the phone on and see what happens.” He tilted his head to the side. “The black car in the parking lot of that store?”

“Yeah.”

Steve nodded and focused his attention back on the road.

“What did our conversation get you thinking about?” Darcy asked after a long moment of silence.

He sighed. “Got me thinking about what’s important to me and what’s within my power to change and what I want to do with my life.”

“Oh. Heavy stuff.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Any clarity?”

He smiled, but it was strained. “Yes and no.”

“Sounds like you don’t want to talk about it,” Darcy said.

He pulled up to the curb in front of a small grocery store. “I ain’t ready to talk about it,” he said. “Go inside and wait here. If I'm not back in twenty minutes, I want you to leave from the back door of this store and walk calmly to that shopping center over there. Ask one of the clerks in a larger store to use the phone. You know the emergency number for the base?”

Darcy nodded.

“You call it and tell them where you are and that it’s a code 57. They’ll come get you.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Steve, I thought this wasn’t a big deal?”

“If Tony had responded with a letter, then it wouldn’t be. You said it’s a phone, so we gotta be careful just in case Tony has been compromised.”

“You act like you’re not worried about him.”

“He wouldn’t turn on us like that.”

Darcy snorted. “Yeah, right. I heard about the fight at the airport. He helped imprison–”

“That wasn’t really him. Darcy, it’ll be okay. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

She hesitated before slipping out of the vehicle and going into the store. She watched him pull away from the curb through the glass door.

Wandering the aisles of a grocery store had always been one of her favorite pastimes, but she couldn’t even think about food at a time like this. Her stomach was in knots. This was supposed to be a stupid, routine trip to Helsinki to check the mailbox and confirm it was empty. She’d been hoping that Tony Stark would respond, but she hadn’t actually believed he would. She hadn’t even really considered his role in what went down a little over two years ago that resulted in Sam and several other people who had a position in the Agency being imprisoned. It had been kept pretty hush-hush at the time, but Darcy had heard the stories secondhand from other people back at base.

A woman walked up and asked a question in Finnish. Darcy caught just enough to know she was asking if she could help her. Darcy smiled and shook her head. She was afraid to open her mouth and speak English or expose her poor grasp of the native language. If things did go south, then the woman would certainly remember that strange American girl. Thankfully, the woman left her to continue browsing.

Darcy picked up a bottle of soda and a bag of chips. It had been ten minutes. She looked at her watch every minute after until it had been fifteen minutes. Five more minutes and she’d have to follow his orders and leave. Luckily, that never happened. The relief over seeing him walking into the store was immense. Steve saw her standing at the end of an aisle right away and came over to slip his arm around her like they really were an item.

“Everything is okay,” he whispered into her hair.

Leaning into his strong arm, she said, “How do you know?”

“I turned the phone on and called the number.” Before she could ask who answered, Steve directed her to the counter to pay. “Come on,” he said, “let’s pay for your drink and chips so we can go home.”

“You’re acting weird,” she said. “You’re acting like my boyfriend and no one is around.”

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Finally, he said, “Habit. Never know who could be watching.”

“So, we’re still faking it?”

He didn’t respond because they were at the register. Neither of them said anything to the cashier besides Steve’s thanks in awkward Finnish when she returned his change. As they were walking out to his vehicle, he said, “Do you still want to fake it?”

“Do _you_?” she asked, looking at him over the hood of the vehicle. It was like he was using it to put distance between them.

“Darcy, this was your idea. It’s always been your choice.”

Instead of answering, she pulled open the door and got in, buckling herself into the passenger seat.

Steve slid into the driver’s side and turned the engine over before rubbing his palms on his jeans. “Darcy–”

She didn’t give him the chance to finish whatever it is he was going to say. Instead, she asked, “Who answered the phone?”

“Tony.”

“So, it was for real? Tony Stark responded to my letter with a phone.”

“A satellite phone that bounces off his own satellite. It’s a secure line of communication to him.”

“How’d you know that by looking at it?”

Steve shrugged. “I didn’t. I called and Tony told me.”

“You believe him?”

They drove right past the car she’d taken off the base on their way out of town. “No reason not to believe him,” Steve replied.

“You forgot my car.”

“I’ll send someone to get it.”

“Are we still in danger?” she asked.

Steve smiled at her. “I don’t think we ever were. Can’t I want to spend a couple hours on a drive with my friend?”

Friend. Great, Darcy thought. _Friend_. It should have made her feel good that someone as amazing as Steve Rogers had decided she was his friend. It should have, but she found that she was no longer satisfied with being friends. All she got when he was around was a mess of feelings and guilt that she’d let things go too far.


	12. Chapter 12

 

> _”So before the light, hold me again with all your might. In the still of the night.” - The Five Satins (In the Still of the Night)_

The ride back to the base was filled with conversation that was at times easy and at times stilted. Steve seemed like he wanted to talk with her, but didn’t know how to talk about the things she was interested in discussing. Namely—were they still fake dating or were they just friends. And if they were just friends, then how in the hell were they going to make that transition after all they’d done to convince people that they were sleeping together?

“Do you really think Tony Stark will help us?”

Steve smiled and pulled the phone out of his jacket pocket. “Call him.”

“Is that smart? I mean, are you sure he isn’t monitoring this?”

“Not his style.” He nodded at the phone before moving his eyes back to the road. “Go on.”

With no small amount of trepidation, Darcy pulled up the previous calls and found the one Steve had made himself. She pressed to redial and held her breath as the phone rang once, then twice.

“Repository of all knowledge,” the voice on the other end said. When she didn’t reply, the man said, “Come on, Star-Spangled, I don’t appreciate crank calls.”

“Is this Tony Stark?” she asked. She didn’t need to. He sounded exactly like the Tony Stark that she’d seen so many times on television and in news clips.

“Is this Darcy Lewis?” he shot back without missing a beat. “I hope it is because you got some balls of steel sending me a letter like in the olden days. You know how many people could have intercepted that envelope?”

“I got my intel from a very reliable source. They told me that address was your private home.”

“I figured. You’ve got Cap following on your heels, so you must be running with that spy crowd. Don’t tell me, you got the deets from a redhead with a wicked right hook.”

“She’s blonde now.”

“Really? Interesting. Cap didn’t dye his black, did he?”

Darcy’s eyes cut over to Steve. “No. He’s got a beard, though.” Steve’s lips twitched like he was going to smile.

“Well, damn,” Tony said, “I feel like I should do something to keep up with the Joneses. What do you think? Frosted tips? Go bald? Maybe get extensions?”

“I think you should help us,” she told him.

“Help you with what? Your letter was vague. What makes you think I can help?”

“I thought you were the repository of all knowledge.”

He laughed. “Okay, okay, Darcy Lewis. What are you building? We’re gonna have to do this remotely because the State Department and the U.N. are both up my ass. Gotta keep my nose clean if you know what I mean.”

“I’m not the best person to talk to about it. I’m just an assistant.”

“An assistant who is working with Captain America. Sure. I like the modesty, Darcy.”

“It’s a device that sucks anything within a certain radius into a… like, a wormhole or whatever. It spits them out into a point in space. Way far out in space, way past our galaxy. We’re not too good at pointing yet, though.”

“Space is not my specialty, Lewis.”

“We have a power problem. We need more juice.”

“Ahh,” he said. She could hear him tapping on something. “Now _that’s_ my specialty. Send me what you’re working with.”

“I think you need to talk to Jane Foster first.”

“Oh, shit,” Tony said, “Thor’s Jane?”

“Yep.”

“Small world, Lewis. What a small world. Use the phone to send me the data. Don’t use any other means of contacting me. Nothing is as secure on my end, and these government assholes would love to get their greedy hands on your prototype.”

“Okay, will do. I’m on it.”

“Hey,” Tony said before she could pull the phone away from her ear. “You and Cap got a thing going on? Seemed like he might be a little sweet on you when I talked to him–”

“Tony,” Steve said, raising his voice to be heard. For a moment, Darcy had forgotten that Steve could probably hear both sides of the conversation with his super ears.

“We’re fake dating,” she said.

“Is that what you kids do now?”

“Yep,” she agreed before hanging up. She looked over at Steve and said, “He’s a lot.”

Steve smiled and said, “Yes, he is.”

“If I hadn’t heard all the horror stories about the fight in Germany and stuff, then I’d assume you and him were cool.”

“We are… cool. He’s a good guy, despite all… that.”

Darcy pursed her lips and swallowed her next question because he was pulling through the gates of the base.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane had sent the specs and all the information on the construction of the slingshot to Tony that afternoon. They both took a break to eat an early dinner, and when they got back to the lab, Fury was waiting for them. He was an odd mixture of pissed off and excited. Darcy thought it was probably the scariest version of Nick Fury and was relieved when he left after he chewed her and Jane out for being reckless. It wasn’t that bad, though. He was too happy to hear about the help to be as angry as he probably should have been at Darcy’s executive decision to appeal to outside help.

Jane had spent the last two hours on and off the phone with Tony, poking and prodding at the small box that reminded Darcy of the trap from Ghostbusters. Around eleven o’clock, she rubbed her eyes and went outside to get some air. Darcy tucked her phone and earbuds away in her hoodie pocket and then turned around to grab a piece of the nicotine gum. She’d not had one in three days, but all the stress of the day was wearing on her.

The weather was pleasant and the night was quiet when she pushed the door open and took her spot on the furthest picnic table, stepping up on the bench seat and sitting on the table. Darcy popped the white square of gum in her mouth and absently chewed it up as she thought about what kind of help Tony Stark could offer.

She was so deep in thought, trying to imagine actual success with the stupid device, that she didn’t hear the door open. She did, however, hear a voice behind her say, “You mind some company?”

Gasping, Darcy turned to find Steve standing there with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans like he wasn’t sure if he’d be welcome. “Sure, Steve. Pull up a seat,” she told him, patting the table next to her.

He sat down beside her, moving the table surprisingly little considering how big he was. “How are things in the lab?” he asked.

“Labby,” she said. “Good. Jane’s manic right now. She’s got another brain to pick and this one has a lot of knowledge about something she needs.” They sat in silence for a moment before she added, “I started thinking we’d never get this thing done, but… now I’m starting to think we might. It’s crazy.”

“Scary?”

Shrugging, she said, “A little, I guess. I mean, fuck man, you get caught up in that thing and you’d end up out in the middle of nowhere with nothing around you. That’s… scary. If it works, I mean.”

“I have faith,” he told her. “It _is_ a little scary, though. Weapons like that always are.”

“You know, it was never supposed to be a weapon. I mean, I guess it is now. I guess it has been for a while. At first… I think at first it was Jane trying to get back to Thor.”

Steve let his head fall until his chin rested against his chest. “That’s tough,” he said.

“Yeah,” Darcy agreed. “It really is. I wish he’d come back. I think she wants a second chance.”

“You think he does, too?” Steve’s voice was soft.

“Yeah, I do. I didn’t hear their conversation, but I saw him leave. I saw his face. She broke his heart.” They sat in silence, the only sound was the ambient noises of the forest around them. Finally, Darcy said, “Do you think he’d be more reckless if he knows she’s not there for him?”

Steve didn’t answer immediately, and when he did he said, “This isn’t the answer you want, but probably. I don’t think Thor would ever do anything he felt was suicidal unless it would save innocent people. But… when you’re alone it’s a lot easier to just… dive in. Does that make sense?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it does. I was dating this guy for a couple years in college. We met the second week of classes in my freshman year and just clicked. We were together until I started my junior year, until I found out he’d cheated on me. It shattered my world at the time. I just… I was so upset. In hindsight, he was just a bump in the road, but in that moment it was… bad. About a month after we broke up, I was headed up to New York City to meet my parents for a long weekend. The East Coast got hit with this massive snow storm. The old me would have pulled off and gotten a room at a motel. The new me… she just drove through the fucker. It was terrifying, but I just remember thinking that it couldn’t get much worse than getting your heart broken. I wasn’t really trying to get hurt, but I was definitely…”

“Reckless.”

She exhaled and nodded. “Yeah. Reckless.”

“I think that’s pretty common,” he said, “or at least that’s what Sam has told me.”

“Did he do his counseling voodoo on you?”

Steve laughed and rested his forearms on his knees as he leaned forward. “Yeah, he did. Wasn’t a real big fan at first, but talking helps sometimes.”

“Was it scary when you woke up from being frozen?”

Instead of tensing and clamming up like she’d thought, he looked back at her and said, “Yeah, it was scary and disorienting. Things had changed so much and I hadn’t changed at all. Things were… difficult,”

“Sometimes I wonder if these things you do are you or if they’re because you’re from a different era.”

“Things I do?”

“Yeah,” she said, “the things you do that guys just don’t do.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged and looked at the ground. She’d gone too far and didn’t really wanted to continue on the path she’d started down. “Just things.”

Steve raised his brows and smiled at her. It was kind and sweet and made the butterflies in her stomach kick up.

“Things,” she repeated, “that you do that make me feel special. Like you care. Guys don’t do that.”

“Guys don’t make you feel that way?” he murmured, his gaze steady on her face.

“Not really. Must be an old-fashioned thing,” Darcy mumbled, shoving her hands in the pockets of her hoodie and rolling the cord of her earbuds between her thumb and forefinger.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept shoving it down, swallowing the words.

“Or maybe it’s because I keep ending up in these weird situations in which the world is ending, and I’m hiding on a secret pseudo-army base in the middle of Finland with a bunch of dudes that definitely don’t have eyes for me.”

“What makes you think that?” Steve asked.

Darcy shrugged. “Lack of interest.”

“I don’t know about that, Darcy,” Steve said. “I could name several guys who would be happy to treat you to dinner and… whatever you wanted.”

She laughed softly. “Whatever I wanted?”

Steve responded with a slightly embarrassed chuckle. “Lady’s choice.”

“How tasteful. Lady’s choice.” She leaned over and bumped her shoulder into his arm. “Okay, give me the names of these guys. I’m curious.” Steve opened his mouth, but she cut him off before he could respond by saying, “No, nevermind. I don’t want to know. I’m not interested.”

“I don’t see how pretending with me is enough for you. You deserve better, Darcy,” he said softly.

She wanted to open her mouth and let it all fly. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t want to know any of her admirers’ names because she didn’t want any of them, that they would pale in comparison to the only person she really wanted. And the only person she wanted seemed too intent on sacrificing himself for the greater good, didn’t know the meaning of making a selfish choice to find happiness for himself. Not that she thought she could ever make Steve Rogers happy. She wasn’t enough for him; she was just… an assistant, a sidekick. She couldn’t be that important to someone like him.

“It isn’t about what I deserve,” she finally said. “Pretending with you is just fine. It’s fun. Didn’t you see the look on dickhead Derek’s face?”

Steve chuckled. “Not really. I think I was too busy kissing you and thinking a little too hard about what was under the coat.”

“Oh, I forgot!” Darcy exclaimed, reaching up to hit his chest with the back of her hand. “You didn’t see his face when I dropped the condoms.”

His eyebrows lifted up. “The what?”

“I got a string of Trojan Magnums from the pharmacy and accidentally-on-purpose dropped them out of my pocket before I knocked on your door. Derek was all like, ‘Do you think you need that many?’ And I was like, ‘Uh, yeah, super soldier is super.’ It was priceless, lemme tell you.”

“I’m trying to piece this together from context, but I’m assuming Trojan Magnums are condoms.”

Darcy nodded. “Yeah, the girl in the pharmacy is pretty optimistic about what you’re packing.”

“Translation?” he asked.

“They’re larger than average condoms.” Darcy looked over at him. “Wait, does Pamela in the pharmacy have first-hand knowledge of your dick?”

Steve choked, coughing to hide his surprise. “Uh, no.”

“Hmm, just Sharon then?”

“Just Sharon.”

“So old-fashioned. You know, any other guy in your place would have been taking full advantage of all the sex-starved women on this base who would jump at the chance to land in your bed for a night.”

He was blushing, and it was one of the sweetest things she’d ever seen. Steve shook his head and said, “I’m not interested in that.”

“So, it _is_ you,” Darcy observed.

“What’s me?”

“I was wondering if all those bits about you that I like are because of when you grew up or because it’s just who you are. It’s just you.”

“That sounds like a compliment, Darcy.”

“It is, Steve. Go ahead and blush. That’s cute, too.”

He laughed softly under his breath. “Don’t start poking fun at me.”

“I’d never. I like you too much to do that.”

They both looked out over the grassy field. She thought about how Steve could probably see further into the dark than she could. She thought about how it was to live a life that wasn’t completely yours, a life that had been hijacked by science and the military and duty and war. She thought about how much it must suck to never go after or do the things you really wanted because you considered that to be selfish or to be shirking your role in the greater picture.

“Was it hard to get used to things when you came back?” she asked.

“Yes and no,” Steve replied.

“Tell me,” Darcy said, bouncing her shoulder playfully into his arm again. “I like hearing you talk.”

He gave her that nervous little laugh that said he didn’t really understand why, but he was willing to amuse her. “Well, what I do—the job or whatever you want to call it—that was easy. There are always people trying to hurt others or manipulate or control. They’re pretty easy to spot and they’re almost as easy to bring down if you have the right people around you. People like that, they ain’t changed in all these decades.”

“What was hard?”

He smiled. “Life outside all that. Talking to people when half the things they were saying I didn’t have any frame of reference for. Technology and how far it has infiltrated into everyday life. It ain’t just for the rich or for the government. All that power in the palm of your hand. We couldn’t even imagine it back when I was growing up.”

“What about movies, television, music?”

“Oh,” Steve said, “all of that was so confusing, so different. I didn’t know where to begin. I used to love going to the pictures when I was a kid.”

Darcy laughed. “The pictures?”

“Don’t sass me, doll. That’s what we called it.”

“What did you love back then?”

“Pictures? Mmm, I guess they call ‘em film noir now. We didn’t really have a term back then other than a crime picture. You Only Live Once, Angels Over Broadway, The Maltese Falcon.”

Darcy laughed. “Interesting. You like the cool, smart guy who gets tangled up with some dangerous dame.”

“Actually, I had a crush on Effie in the Maltese Falcon.”

“Wasn’t she the secretary?”

Steve nodded with a grin on his face. “She was smart as a whip and didn’t take any shit.”

“Also interesting.”

“I remember finding old DVDs in a bin at a discount store and buying twenty of them. I sat on my couch and watched one right after the other so I could catch up on all those pictures I missed like Double Indemnity, North by Northwest, Sunset Boulevard.”

Darcy laughed softly. “I can’t imagine Captain America having a binge session with DVDs from the Walmart bargain bin. Amazing.”

“Steve,” he corrected her. “I’m just Steve.”

“ _Steve_ ,” she agreed. “So what about music?”

“Oh, music is tough. There’s just so much and so many different ways to listen and… it was overwhelming. Still is.

“Did you ever try to listen to stuff from the fifties instead of jumping into things in the two thousands?”

“Guess I didn’t know where to start. Music don’t get sold like those DVDs. The covers don’t always tell me what it’s gonna sound like, but movie covers sometimes give you a clue.”

Darcy pulled out her phone. “You wanna listen to something?”

Steve eyed the device and the cord coming out of the headphone jack. “Custom picked by you?”

“Yep, custom picked by me just for you.”

He smiled and scooted a little closer until their thighs were touching. “I’d love to listen to something.”

“So, like, was doo-wop a thing back in your day?”

Steve furrowed his brows. “I don’t think so.”

“Maybe it didn’t get a name until later.” Darcy pulled up her music library and scrolled through until she found what she was looking for. “Let’s try this. You tell me if you like it or not and I’ll find something else depending on what you say.” She shook out the earbuds and handed him one before shoving the other in her own ear.

The recording was aged with the vocals a bit muted and the hiss of a less than quality recording, but In the Still of the Night by The Five Satins was still a classic to rival all classics. Steve was motionless as he sat beside her and listened in silence, his forearms still resting on his knees.

It felt surreal to sit there in the middle of the night in nowhere and share a song with this man she hadn't thought would ever give her the time of day. The short song finished all too soon. She looked over at him and said, “What do you think?”

“It was perfect.” Chuckling, he said, “Maybe I shoulda came to talk to you about music a long time ago. I just assumed you wouldn’t know music from before you were born.”

“My dad’s a big Motown fan. I grew up listening to oldies.”

“Will you play me one of your favorites?”

His request made her heart skip a beat. Why was he so sweet and so attentive toward her? Why did he make her feel like she was so important? As much as she knew that she and Steve were never going to be a thing, these moments made her wonder if maybe he wasn’t faking at all when she melted into a kiss with her. “Sure, how about we jump forward a few years to the sixties?”

“Whatever you say. I trust you.”

He trusted her. Darcy wanted to grab his face and lay a big, fat kiss on those very kissable lips. He was probably oblivious to his charm just like he was oblivious to just how sexy that suit made him look when he went out on missions. Fuck him and his obliviousness.

Instead of responding, Darcy typed Sam Cooke into the search field and tapped her finger on his song Nothing Can Change This Love. It had always been one of her favorite songs. It started out with a piano, but Sam Cooke’s unmistakable voice came in fairly quickly with its smooth, soulful sound.

Listening to it with Steve sitting next to her made Darcy’s throat start to close up with emotion, and she wasn’t quite sure why. She leaned into him and let her head fall onto his shoulder. Steve shifted and she thought he might be trying to dislodge her, but realized quickly he was just moving to wrap his arm around her shoulders. Those feelings pinging around her head and tightening her throat made her eyes well up with tears as she leaned further into his body, feeling how solid and real and strong he was. You can’t have him, the rational part of her brain told her. Her heart was aching at the thought that this was just a fleeting moment that would pass and probably never happen again.

The song faded out and they sat in silence for a few beats before Steve said, “Can you play it again?”

She didn’t trust her voice to not sound thick with emotion, so Darcy just nodded and restarted the song. As Sam started singing again, Steve settled his head on top of hers and sighed. If she could have stopped time, Darcy wouldn’t have hesitated to stop it right at that moment. Everything was perfect—the warm breeze and his arm holding her close, the comfort of his shoulder against her temple and the pressure of his cheek on the crown of her head, the sweet sounds of the piano and Sam Cooke’s voice.

When the second play ended, Steve didn’t move. Instead, he whispered, “The guards over there in the tower are talking about us.”

“What are those little shits saying?”

She could feel the rumble of his soft chuckle. “Something about Cap and his new girl making out on the patio,” he said.

“We’re not making out.”

“We’re aren’t,” he agreed.

“Why don’t you tell them not to call you Cap?”

Steve exhaled. “It ain’t that important, doll.”

“But you don’t want to be Cap.”

“I don’t, but… it ain’t hurting anything.” He released her with what felt like reluctance.

Darcy stood up on the bench and cupped her hands on either side of her mouth. “Hey, assholes,” she called over to the two guards in the tower. “His name is _Steve_! You might want to use it if you’re gossiping about his personal fuckin’ business!”

Steve bent to the side away from her and laughed so hard he wrapped an arm around his stomach. She couldn’t help but laugh with him, even if her reprimand to the guards had been serious.

When he was laughed out, Steve slipped his feet down to the concrete pad and stood up. “Come on, firecracker,” he said, reaching up and wrapping his arms around her thighs. She could feel his muscular forearm right underneath her ass as he lifted her up and pulled her closer. Steve let her slide down his body until her feet were on the ground. “Let’s go see if Jane and Tony made any progress.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, you thought I couldn't drag this shit out into an even slower burn? Just watch me. ;-)


	13. Chapter 13

 

> _"Can’t nobody love you like I’m loving you right now.” - Solomon Burke (Can’t Nobody Love You)_

Darcy woke up feeling disoriented. Her lower back ached and the muscles in her neck felt sore. It took her a moment to realize she was on her couch, not in her bed. She'd been using a flat pillow and a fuzzy throw blanket with stars and moons on it to make herself comfortable. The previous night came back to her, and she remembered listening to music with Steve on the patio and then going to check on Jane. Steve had left the two of them alone in the lab, and Jane had finally sent Darcy home after Darcy had fallen asleep on her own desk.

The last thing Darcy remembered was lying down on the couch and thinking about what might happen if she knocked on Steve's door at two in the morning. Would he invite her inside and be the perfect gentleman? Would he grab her shirt and pull her into his bedroom? Or would he give her a weird look and ask what was wrong? Well, Steve, mostly what is wrong involves you, Darcy thought. She was falling in love with him despite knowing _that_ little fantasy was never going to come to fruition. And what made it the biggest disaster of all is that she couldn't just avoid him or run away or tell him to back off because being with him sounded like the best way to spend her day or night. Or life.

The ding of her phone receiving several messages in a row was what had woken her from the restless sleep. Darcy patted the pillow and arm of the couch above her head until she landed on her phone. The bluish light from the screen looked ominous in the darkness of her apartment. Three messages, but not from Jane. They were all from an unknown number. Steve, no doubt.

**Got called out on a mission and don't know when I'll be back. Wanted you to know I'm not avoiding you and never was**

**Hope you and Jane have luck on the slingshot. Our mutual friend should be able to help. You wouldn't believe the things I've seen him do with machines**

**I'll be careful. Not reckless. Promise**

Darcy read the three messages several times, her eyes always lingering in the final one. Careful, not reckless, he promised. Was that a reference to their conversation from the previous night? It had to be. Careful, not reckless. It didn't mean he was safe, but it made her feel better for some reason.

 

* * *

 

 

“Jane, do you even think this little thing can survive space? I mean, it looks like a fat pencil.”

“Darcy, it's fine, just put it in the bag.”

Darcy shot Jane a look that said she was thoroughly unconvinced but did what she was told anyway. Jane looked like a mad woman because she'd gotten about three hours of sleep in the past two days. She wasn't working in the same room as Tony Stark, but Darcy suspected he was running on fumes as well. The two of them had been working almost nonstop on the energy source for the slingshot and now Jane was holding what they all hoped was a working device in her hands. Tony had been snippy and impatient with Jane’s lack of engineering ability, but the astrophysicist caught on pretty quickly, acting as his hands since he couldn't visit the base. Darcy was quick to remind the repository of all knowledge that he didn't know Jack shit about astrophysics. Tony, to his credit, was appropriately mollified, though he did point out that he did know more than Jack shit.

“I'm nervous,” Jane admitted, cradling the box in her hand. It had a small antenna extending from one end and looked like an oversized pencil box with two doors that opened to reveal a mess of circuitry and wires and a blood red crystal of some sort. It had been a gift from Thor to Jane and was the most important piece of the puzzle, their link to the stars.

Darcy picked up the small remote that controlled the slingshot. They'd taken the batteries out, deciding it would be safest to only put them in the remote when they were in place to test the device. Today was that day, and Darcy was just as nervous as Jane, maybe more so. Regardless, she comforted her friend by saying, “It'll be a piece of cake, Jane. You ready?”

The older woman nodded and they placed the slingshot in the canvas tote with the beacon they intended on sending into space that evening. Darcy put the batteries in one pocket and the remote in the other just to be sure.

Once they were out of the building and walking along the side of the road that led beyond the gates of the base, Jane said, “Steve seemed worried about you that day you called me from Helsinki. He was in such a rush to get to you, he took my phone with him.”

“He cares too much about people sometimes.”

“Too much?”

“I was fine. He didn't need to shut his day down for me.”

Jane adjusted the bag in her shoulder. “It's nice that he did. Maybe you're just not comfortable with people caring about you, Darcy.”

“Ugh, keep your day job, Jane. A psychologist you are not.”

“I’m serious, Darcy. Obviously, he cares about you.”

Darcy trudged along beside Jane, wishing it was just a few degrees cooler. Out here in the sun, she could already feel the sweat on the back of her neck.

“Did you hear me?” Jane asked.

“Yes, but I don’t have anything to say.”

Jane looked over at her. “Really? That’s interesting.”

“Nothing interesting over here,” Darcy said. The sun and the needling from Jane and the long hours and the lack of Steve and the knowledge that the slingshot was probably going to fail spectacularly were all conspiring to put her in a very bad mood.

Jane adjusted the bag on her shoulder and said, “Why are you in such a foul mood?”

“I’m not.”

“You’re worried about him,” Jane said, eyes going wide when she connected the dots.

Darcy snorted and picked up her pace. “I’m not.”

Jane kept up without a problem, her shorter legs moving just a bit faster than Darcy’s longer ones. “You are. Don’t lie to me, Darcy. I know how it feels. Don’t you dare lie to me.”

Whirling around, she looked at Jane and suddenly felt like crying. Her chest felt tight, and all she could think about was that she’d put herself in this position by ignoring all of those warnings to slow things down with Steve. It was just impossible to step back from him now that she knew him, now that she’d experienced the way he made her feel. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she angrily wiped it away.

“Darcy,” Jane said, her voice going all soft and caring, which was the last fucking thing Darcy needed at that moment in time. She could stand up with a spine of steel to anyone screaming in her face, but when someone she knew went all soft and worried for her wellbeing, well that just sent Darcy off into the land of tears. Suddenly her face was wet and her nose was running and Jane was reaching out a hand to her.

“I fucked up, Janie. I fucked up,” Darcy said, stiff-arming her friend so that there would be no hugs. Hugs would just break her down further. “I care about him too much.”

“Hey, Dar… Hey, it’s okay. This isn’t your fault.” Jane said as she took Darcy’s hand and pulled her closer.

Darcy finally gave in and let Jane wrap her up in a hug. “It _is_ my fault. I fucking fell in love with him. He gave me so many chances to back out and I didn’t. I just… I kept going and now I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m sorry, Darcy. I’m so sorry,” Jane whispered into her hair.

“The night before he left he found me out on the patio. We listened to music and he put his arm around me and… and… I thought it was real. He felt so fucking real. But there were guards on the tower, so it was probably for them. I just… It’s so hard sometimes because he doesn’t turn it on when people are around and turn it off when they’re gone. It’s always just… him. And that’s so goddamn confusing. It’s messing with my head.” She was blubbering into Jane’s shoulder while Jane held her close and smoothed a hand over her head.

“I don’t think he’s the type of man who pretends, Dar. Neither was Thor. I think they’re just who they are and they can’t be anyone else. So, maybe you’re getting Steve. Maybe it was real for him. Is it real for you?”

“So real,” Darcy whispered. “But I’m not the love interest or the hero. I’m the sidekick and the funny friend. He’s not for me, and I think he’s too nice to put me in my place.”

Jane curled her fingers tightly around Darcy’s shoulders and stiffened her arms until she was holding Darcy away from her. Searching her friend’s eyes, Jane said, “You’re not what? Darcy this isn’t a story; this is your life.”

“Janie, I’m not saying I’m a piece of shit. I’m just saying I’m not that girl.” Darcy sniffed and wiped at her face. “I’m not the girl Captain fucking America falls in love with.

“But maybe you’re the girl Steve Rogers falls in love with.”

The tears started again, and Darcy laughed as she swiped her knuckles over her face, surely smearing her eyeliner, which had looked pretty fucking rad that morning. “I thought you were against all this—against me and him.”

Jane let go of Darcy and sighed. “I just wanted you to protect yourself, Dar. I was worried about it and thought I could warn you.”

“What changed your mind?”

Jane smiled and wiped her own tears away. “If someone had warned me about Thor back when I met him, I wouldn’t have listened. Sometimes you’ve gotta do something. Sometimes you’ve gotta learn for yourself. And sometimes maybe people don’t know shit and things will work out in the end.”

“I don’t know about that,” Darcy said, sniffing and laughing as she tried to find her composure again.

“What do I know, right?” Jane asked, giggling and throwing her arms out to her sides.

“Uh, like, all the things, Janie. You know _all the things_.”

“About physics and space. I don’t know shit about what’s between you and Steve. You two are the only ones who know that, and that’s the way it should be.”

“We’re fucking friends, Jane,” Darcy said, starting to walk again. “Oh, god, this sucks. Why am I so stupid? Why is it so damn hot? What is this hellish sun doing in the sky? How far do we have to go so Fury doesn't know we’re testing this shit behind his back?”

Jane was bent over in laughter when Darcy turned around. Her face was still red from crying, and Darcy suspected she looked the same.

“Shut up,” Darcy told her.

When she finally caught her breath, Jane said, “This sun does fucking suck. I’m sweating like a pig and it can’t be more than seventy-five degrees.” After a pause, she sobered and added, “Do you think Thor will ever come back?”

“You bet your tits he’ll be back,” Darcy replied, walking back to throw her arm around Jane’s shoulders. “He’ll probably look like he was rode hard and put away wet. We’ll make fun of him, and he’ll confess that he’s still in love with you. And then you can tell him he’s a loooooser of the highest order for leaving you. And then you can borrow Gonzo—which is my most beloved vibrator—to show him that you don’t need no stinkin’ man… even if that man is the God of Thunder.”

“I don’t need Gonzo,” Jane said. “I have Buzz Lightyear.”

Darcy stopped and glanced over at her friend. “Wait. What? You named yours Buzz Lightyear?”

Jane shrugged. “What’s wrong with Buzz Lightyear?”

“Gez, come on, Janie. Let’s go finish this little stroll and see if your doohickey works.”

The women finished the walk out of the base and around the edge of the fence in silence. They found a clearing surrounded by trees far enough away that none of the watchtower guards could see what they were up to.

Jane carefully sat the slingshot box on the ground and positioned the beacon next to it after she’d activated the blinking light.

“How long will the batteries last in that thing?”

“Years,” Jane said, wiping her hands on the seat of her pants and stepping back to look at the innocuous box with a janky antenna and the cylindrical beacon with a blinking red light on the top.

Darcy eyed the ground around the equipment. “How far do you think it will reach?”

“Theoretically, it should have a radius of ten feet.”

“Theoretically?”

Jane’s smile was nervous. “Yep.”

“So we should be like a hundred feet away,” Darcy said. “Not that I don’t have the utmost confidence in your amazing brain, I just feel like getting shot out into deep space will be really inconvenient to my already fucked up life.”

Jane nodded. “I was thinking maybe a hundred and twenty feet. I don’t feel like dying today.” She reached around to pull the Stark Phone out of the back pocket of her jeans. “Let’s call Tony while we walk,” Jane said.

“I’m not putting the batteries in the remote until we’re at the treeline,” Darcy warned. “Just sayin’.”

“Yeah,” Jane agreed. “Probably for the best. God, I’m sick to my stomach over this. What if it doesn’t work?” They walked side-by-side away from the devices lying in the grass. “What if it _does_ work?” Jane added. “What if it blows up the clearing?”

“All the more reason for us to be way the hell out here.”

Jane pressed the phone to her ear when they hit the treeline. “Tony?” she said. After a brief pause, she said, “We’re getting ready to test it.” Another pause, this one longer, and then she said, “Video call you how?”

Darcy held out her hand and wiggled her fingers. Jane hung up on Tony and handed the phone over. “Did you just hang up on Tony Stark?” Darcy asked.

Jane pursed her lips. “He was being snippy with me.”

“Everybody is snippy today,” Darcy replied. “It’s the stress.” It only took her a moment to pull up Tony’s number and video call him. His face popped up on the screen two seconds later. He was in a plaid suit that looked both expensive and ridiculous.

“Darcy or Jane?” he asked.

“Darcy,” she replied, feeling just a little starstruck.

“Hey, killer,” he said. “I heard about you tazing Point Break. I approve.”

“Thanks,’ she replied. “So, it’s really you.”

“You think anyone else could pull off this feat of genius?”

Darcy rolled her eyes as the feeling of seeing a very famous idol faded. “Your minor contribution to Jane’s hard work will be noted in the annals of history.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he waved away her comment. “Get to the good stuff. I wanna watch the show. Turn me around.”

“You think it’ll work?”

“Who knows?” Tony said. “But I can’t wait to see if it does. If I didn’t have Homeland Security and the NSA up my ass, I’d be there myself.”

“I thought you and the crew here had a falling out.”

“Water under the bridge. Shit happens.” He bounced up and down in his chair. “Come on, turn me around so I can see the action.”

“Nothing much is happening,” Darcy said, turning the phone around to point at the slingshot in the clearing.

“What are we calling this thing, Jane?” Tony asked, his voice tinny and small in as it came from the phone speaker.

Jane looked at Darcy, eyes wide.

“The slingshot,” Darcy said.

Tony chuckled and clapped his hands once. “I like it. Let’s go.”

Jane held out her hand, and Darcy gave the phone back to her. It freed up her hands so she could put the batteries in the remote. With shaking hands, Darcy extended the small antenna on it and looked over at her friend with raised brows. “You want to do the honors?” she asked, offering to take the phone back.

Jane shook her head and readjusted the phone. “No, you do it.”

“Do it!” Tony called from the phone.

“If we die, I’m coming back to haunt you, Tony,” Darcy said.

“Come on, Lewis! Do it!” his disembodied voice said.

Looking out over the clearing at the spot where the slingshot and beacon were lying, she pulled in a deep breath and said, “Here we go.”

The button clicked as she depressed it completely. She counted two seconds that felt like an eternity, that made her heart drop into her stomach, that made her open her mouth to tell Jane it was okay it didn’t work. And then a white-hot light shot out of the ground, shimmering into a rainbow for a fraction of a moment before it dissipated.

“Holy shit,” Darcy said, looking at the ground where the box had been.

Tony’s whoops of celebration could be heard from the phone. “Go, go, go!” he called out. “Go look.”

Darcy looked at Jane and saw the shock on her friend’s face. She imagined she looked the same. Without saying a word to each other, they hurried across the clearing, almost running, until they arrived at the edge of a massive crater. Peering down inside, Darcy saw that silly little box, looking like it was intended for pencils and office supplies.

“Is the beacon gone?” Tony asked.

“Yes,” Jane replied, turning the camera of the phone to point down in the hole.

Tony laughed. “How deep is the crater? Ten feet?”

“Looks like,” Jane replied, her voice sounded far away.

Darcy glanced from the crater to her friend. “Janie, I think we did it.”

“This is insane.” Jane’s eyes were wide and disbelieving.

“Lewis! Lewis! Take the phone. Your compadre isn’t any good at phone-holding,” Tony’s voice said from the tiny phone speaker.

She pulled the phone from Jane’s hand and turned it around to face her. Tony looked like a kid in a candy store. “She’s in shock,” Darcy told him.

“Never doubt me. Looks like the power source worked like a charm.”

“It did.” Darcy saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up to see Jane pull a tape measure from the bag. “Ah, shit. She’s back in science mode,” she told Tony, watching Jane pin the end down to one edge of the crater and run around it with the tape in her hand.

“Eleven feet, three inches!” Jane called over.

“Suck on that, Stark. _Eleven_ feet, not ten.”

“Po-ta-to, po-tah-to, Lewis. Turn me around. I don’t wanna look at your face.”

Rolling her eyes, she flipped the phone around again so he could watch Jane. “Woah, woah, woah, Jane! What are you doing?” Darcy yelled as the other woman slid down the side of the crater on her ass.

“Science!” Jane yelled up from the bottom of the hole.

Darcy stepped up to the edge and looked down. Jane was standing next to the slingshot box and looking proud of herself. Suddenly Darcy was very conscious of the remote that was clutched in her right hand. “Oh, fuck,” she muttered as she dropped the phone and pulled the batteries out of the remote before some very unfortunate accident happened.

“What happened? Darcy! Darcy! What’s going on?”

“Shut up, Tony. I forgot I was holding the remote. I took the batteries out so I don’t accidentally send my boss cartwheeling into the great beyond.” She picked him back up and pointed him down he could see Jane. It looked like someone had taken an ice cream scoop out of the earth. “This is cray, Tony,” Darcy whispered. “Do you think it worked?”

“Well, it did something. I don’t know about the space stuff. Not my bag, but your boss seems to know what she’s doing so I’m gonna say yes, it probably worked.”

Jane was scooping soil samples off the edge of the crater and plugging them up into little vials.

“Should I call Fury?” Darcy called down.

“No!” Jane yelled up. “Not yet. Not until we know if it worked.”

“Jane, we don’t even know where the beacon went. Where in the hell do we look?”

“If my calculations are right, we have a general idea.”

“Gotta go,” Tony said. Darcy turned the phone back to her. “Keep me posted, Lewis,” he told her before the screen went black.

Darcy sighed and shoved the phone into the back pocket of her jeans. “Tony had to go,” she yelled down to Jane. Are you sure we shouldn’t say something to Fury?”

“No! He’ll take it and start zapping shit all willy nilly. We need to determine the location of the beacon before any additional testing.”

“What if we can’t find the beacon?” she asked.

Jane dropped the vials in her bag and picked up the slingshot box. Darcy watched as she unsuccessfully tried to climb out of the hole. Her hands were covered in dirt and so was the ass of her jeans. “We’ll find the beacon,” Jane told her. “Help me get out of here.”

Darcy examined the hole and said, “Hold on. Let me go get a tree limb. You’re too short and that hole is too deep. I’ll end up in there with you if I lean too far in.”

“Hurry!” Jane yelled. “Do we have permission to use the Green Bank telescope this week?”

“Yes!” Darcy called over her shoulder before running toward the treeline to get a branch to help pull her friend out of the hole they’d just made. She tried not to think about how all the dirt that came out of the crater might be floating around somewhere in space. It was too weird of a thought.

Maybe just as weird as the idea that Steve Rogers felt anything more for her than pure and true friendship. Sure, she thought about him naked pretty frequently, but that was a one-way street. There was no way those feelings went from him to her as well.


	14. Chapter 14

 

> _”Maybe I’m leavin’, leavin’ here with nothin’. I might regret that I can’t be your man. Sometimes the bet ain’t worth the hand.” - Leon Bridges (Bet Ain’t Worth the Hand)_

She was leaning on the counter eating a granola bar and drinking a glass of milk when the knocking at her door made her almost throw the empty wrapper in her hand across the room in self-defense. Her nerves had been pretty frayed lately with Steve still gone and no sign of the beacon for the past two days. Jane was like a mad woman, running on coffee and sugar and desperation for the science to give her a break.

She wondered why Jane was banging on her door at four o’clock in the morning. They’d both just left the lab. Darcy had made her boss pinky swear that she’d get some real sleep and not just a thirty-minute power nap before getting back to sifting through data. “Calm your tits, Foster!” she yelled, walking over to the door and pulling it open.

Jane Foster was not her early morning visitor. It was actually Steve Rogers with his perfect body poured into the tactical suit he wore on missions. His boots were scuffed with dirt and he looked like he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since he’d left the base almost a full week before. “Steve,” she said, looking at him with wide eyes.

His expression had been so expectant when she’d opened the door, but now he looked almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Darcy,” he told her, “I forgot what time it is. The days are running together. After I knocked, I looked at my watch and realized. Didn’t wake you, did I?”

Darcy stepped aside. “No, my hours are off, too. I was having a snack before bed.”

He smiled, but it looked much too tired for her liking.

“You wanna come in?” she asked. “My place is smaller than yours, but I’m not nearly as important as the great Steven Rogers.”

He stepped inside and turned to watch her shut the door. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I… we just got back. I wanted you to know. I mean, I didn’t expect you to entertain me. It’s four in the morning, Darcy.” He looked down at his boots. “I’ve got dirt all over me and I smell like I haven’t showered in days. I should go. I just wanted you to know I’m back.”

He was nervous and she wasn’t sure if it was because his nerves were just as frazzled as hers from the past few days or if he was embarrassed over coming to see her. Maybe a little of both. “Hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind the company. Take off your shoes. You look beat.”

Steve laughed. “I am.”

“Is everyone okay?”

“Yeah, everyone’s okay. Couple minor problems, but nothing serious,” he said, unlacing his boots and toeing them off on the foyer’s tiled floor.

“If you give me the emergency code for your place, I’ll go get you some clothes and you can use my shower.”

He looked up at her, surprise in his eyes. Darcy cringed internally. Maybe that was too far. Maybe this was where he told her that she was getting the wrong idea about where he stood with her in private, where he reiterated that they were _friends_ and he didn’t want her to start thinking that this was something more. “Ah, hell, Darcy, I can shower in my own place. I don’t wanna put you out.”

“I don’t mind. And I don’t mind if you wanna go back to your place either.”

“I’d really rather not, but it’s silly for me to use your shower when mine is upstairs.”

“Give me your code, then.”

He hesitated before putting his hands on his hips and saying, “I, uh, told security to add your credentials to my lock. You can get in with the iris scanner.”

“Oh.” Darcy knew her eyes were wide, but she couldn’t really help it.

“For the ruse and all. It would make sense if we’re dating, you know.”

“Right,” she agreed, nodding her head. “Exactly. It would make sense.” She slipped her flip-flops on and tucked her hair behind her ear. “So, I’ll just go grab you something to wear while you shower.”

Steve cleared his throat and slid his gaze away. “Right. Yeah. Okay. The shower is, uh, through your bedroom?”

“Yep,” she agreed. “You want anything special? Speedos? Muscle shirt? A cute robe with frills on the edges?”

Her questions made him smile and broke the tension just a bit. “Just a shirt and pants.”

“Uh, are you telling me you don’t wear undies, Steven Rogers?”

The way his cheeks flushed was endearing as fuck. “No, I need that too.”

Darcy pulled open her door and looked back at him. “How exciting. I get to look through your underwear drawer.”

Steve just shook his head and said, “Darcy,” like he thought she was ridiculous. On her way out the door, he called out and told her that the clothes could be found in the chest of drawers.

The hallways of the building were like a ghost town this hour of the morning. She suspected the team probably got back earlier, but Steve had made sure everyone was settled and taken care of before he ventured upstairs to her place. Her emotions on him coming to her first, before he’d even gone to his place, were jumbled and not something she was capable of examining on such little sleep. That didn’t stop her from wondering why he was in her shower and not his own. Darcy suspected that going out and fighting and living on the edge was exhausting. Maybe he didn’t want to be alone. If that was the case, then she’d happily torture herself by inviting him to stay with her on those first nights back.

Just like he’d promised, the door clicked open after she’d placed her eye over the scanner. His place was quiet and spotless. He had been gone for almost a week, and it felt like it. Darcy didn’t take advantage of being alone in his apartment. Instead, she swept into his bedroom and found a pair of sweatpants and a white tee in the first two drawers. His underwear collection—all gray boxer briefs were in the third. It was like his wardrobe was military issue—just duplicates of the same pieces, nothing that showed much personality.

As she turned to leave, the easel caught her eye. Darcy took two steps closer in the dim room, squinting her eyes at the finished product. She almost didn’t recognize herself. The woman Steve had painted was beautiful with deep blue eyes and windswept hair. The portrait’s pink lips were parted and the corners of the mouth were lifted in a smile. Was that really supposed to be her, she wondered. Did he think she looked that way?

Smiling to herself, Darcy lifted his clothes to her face and buried her nose in them. She inhaled the clean scent and wished they smelled of him instead. With an aching chest, she turned away from the portrait in the corner of his bedroom and left, flipping the light off when she went. Feeling like she’d delayed too long, Darcy hurried back to her room and knocked on the bathroom door with the clothes and a towel in hand. All she could hear was the patter of water from the shower.

“I have clothes and a towel. You’re not gonna flash me, are you?” she called out through the door.

“No,” he replied.

Darcy cracked the door open and peeked inside. The mirror was fogged up and the air was thick was moisture. Her shower curtain was opaque, so she couldn’t see him, but she could sense his presence just beyond the thin plastic sheeting. “Clothes and towel are on the toilet,” she told him before lowering the lid and carefully placing everything on it. “Yell if you need anything.”

When he didn’t reply, she backed out of the room and shut the door behind herself. After rinsing out her glass of milk, tossing the granola bar wrapper, and wiping down her kitchen counter multiple times, she heard the water shut off. Darcy leaned her hip into the edge of the counter and waited for him to emerge. He came out looking like a dream in his low-riding sweats and too-small tee.

“You want something to eat?” she asked when his eyes met hers.

Steve pushed his hair back and shook his head. “No thanks, doll. Thanks for the shower, though.” After a pause as he cast his gaze over her place, he said, “You sure I ain’t bothering you?”

“You’re never bothering me.” Darcy walked into the living room and looked up into Steve’s face. His eyes were tired. “You look exhausted, Steve. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.”

“I don’t drink.”

She turned around and smiled as she walked backwards toward the kitchen again. “I know, goody-two-shoes. I’m getting you a bottle of water.”

He slowly lowered himself to the couch and sighed. “I’m getting too old for this.”

Darcy laughed softly as she brought him a bottle of water and a Capri Sun. “Here you go, old man.”

“What’s this?” he asked, turning the silver pouch over in his hand.

“Only the best drink ever. I tricked accounting into paying for it as part of lab expenses. Give it over and I’ll open it for you.” Darcy wiggled her fingers as she sat down on the other end of the couch.

Steve handed it over, and she unwrapped the straw before carefully inserting it into the pouch of juice. “Here,” she told him. “It’s juice. Always makes me feel better.”

Tentatively, he sipped at it and then took a longer drink. Before she knew what had happened, he’d finished it. “Thanks, doll,” he told her as he leaned forward to put the empty pouch of the coffee table. “I feel right as rain now.” A smile was playing on his mouth as he said it.

“Hey, a little juice goes a long way toward making a crappy day better.” Darcy paused and really studied him, seeing the weariness in his face and the way he held himself. “Did you get hurt out there?”

“Nah, I'm okay, Darcy. How's your work with Jane going? Was Tony able to help?”

She shook her head. “Not a chance, Steven. Tell me about your mission. Someone recently told me my security clearance is level five, so your ass ain't got no excuse.”

“Wasn't nothing especially bad, sweetheart. Just long and exhausting. My mind's all jumbled up so that makes it worse.”

“Jumbled up how?”

“Just a lot on it. Thinking about what I want outta my life and what I need to give up to get it. Thinking about whether I'm capable of changing and if I even want to.”

Darcy patted her lap. “If we're gonna do the therapy thing, then you should lay down on my couch.”

Steve chuckled. “I don't think there's room enough for both of us if I lay down.”

“Head here, big guy,” she told him, patting her thigh again.

After only a moment's hesitation, Steve shifted and laid down on his back. He was right; his feet were hanging off the armrest, but the weight of his head on her lap was wonderful and reassuring. “Don't see how this is comfortable for you, doll.” His eyes were steady on her face even from where he was reclined.

“It's nice to feel your heavy head all safe and sound on my leg.”

“Yeah?” he asked. "You worry about me when I'm gone?”

Darcy brushed a piece of his hair back from his face. "You bet your sweet ass I do.”

“Don't. I ain't that important.”

“Yeah, well, you don't get to be the judge of that. You wanna talk about it?”

“Dickhead Derek got cut loose.”

Darcy almost choked at Steve's use of her nickname for the creep that resided next to him. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. We promoted his second, but he messed up. We almost lost six guys last night. Or night before last. Hell, I don't know.”

“So what'd Nat do to get Derek fired?”

Steve grinned. “I don't know, but he resigned. Said he valued his life or something. Fury ain't happy, but when is he ever, you know.”

Darcy rearranged the strands of his hair and watched as Steve's eyes fluttered closed. “I'm glad you're safe,” she whispered.

“That feels real good, doll,” he whispered back. After a heavy sigh, he added, “I'm glad I came here. This is better than lying awake in my bed.”

God, her heart was going to beat right out of her chest if she didn't figure out how to slow it. His words made her feel like she was walking on air. Boring old Darcy Lewis had the superpower to make Steve Rogers happy. At that moment it was enough. At that moment she didn't need him to love her back or make any promises. She just wanted to be there for him to lean on. So many people depended on him. It was only fair for him to have some respite.

“I'm glad you came, too.” Darcy smoothed his hair down and tucked it behind his ears. “You're always welcome.”

“Even if it ain't for show?” he asked, opening his eyes.

“Even if,” she agreed.

Steve adjusted his head on her lap and closed his eyes again. “You gonna tell me about what you and Jane and Tony figured out?”

Darcy smiled and started fiddling with his hair again, running her fingers through the wet strands. “We ran a test a couple days ago.”

“Yeah? It work?”

“We’re not sure. I mean, maybe. Sometimes when I step back and look at it, I don't know what we're doing. What in the hell use is a little machine that shoots anything in a ten-foot radius out to a random point in space. I start thinking like Fury sometimes. Why not just use it as a death ray or whatever? Why not use it to kill, not expel? It's not like we're using this against friendlies.”

“I don't think you should look at it as just a weapon.” Steve had opened his eyes to look up at her.

“But it is. Maybe one day we can point it and shoot someone to Asgard or wherever.”

“It could be used to expel alien vessels from the planet.”

Darcy shook her head. “Not really. Maybe one day on that, too. We'd need to build a bigger machine, make it portable, maybe modify the power source. Don't get me wrong, it has potential, but right now… it's nothing to write home about.”

“Don't downplay your accomplishments. What happened with the test?”

“It took everything in a ten-foot radius. Looks like someone took the dirt out of the ground with an ice cream scoop. We sent a beacon out and have been searching for it. No luck so far.”

“Sounds like it works.”

“If we can't find the beacon then we'll never know for sure. What if it sends things to the other side of the world? What if it evaporates things?”

Steve smiled softly and said, “Well, you did tell me you should probably be working on a death ray.”

“I was joking. What if it falls into the wrong hands? What if it kills someone? I don't want that shit on my conscience.”

“There's a difference between killing because you want to and killing because you have to. Sometimes you have to do things you aren't comfortable with to save lives.”

She smoothed his wet hair down again. “You sound like you know from experience.”

“Well,” he replied with a sad smile, “I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.”

She raised her brows. “Are you saying you want out?”

“Of the life? No. I couldn't walk away. I've just been thinking about balance, about what you said.”

“What’d I say?”

Steve folded his hands over his stomach and exhaled. “About me not choosing for someone because I think I can't make them happy with the way I live my life. Maybe about not being reckless.”

“Are you?” she asked, brushing her fingers over his brows.

Steve’s eyes fluttered closed again. “I’m not suicidal.”

“No, reckless. There’s a difference, remember?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I’ve probably always been a little reckless. Growing up the way I did with all those medical problems… It’s taken me some time to recognize it, but I think I was always reckless because the consequence… What could happen to me, you know? I die saving lives? I didn’t mind that; life was tough and what a noble way to go. Better than lying in some hospital bed, wasting away because my lungs wouldn’t work anymore.”

“But things are different now. Your lungs aren’t quitting on you.”

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. “Old habits are hard to break. I feel like it’s in my blood.”

“It’s part of what makes you who are you,” Darcy said, tracing his earlobe with the tip of her index finger.

Steve leaned his head into her hand and smiled. “Can’t figure out if I should be proud of that or not.”

“You save people. You’ve saved _me_.”

He exhaled a soft laugh. “I've never saved you.”

“Indirectly,” she whispered. “How many times have you saved the world?”

Smiling, Steve said, “Not by myself.”

“Come on, now, Steve. You think they would have done it without you?”

“Wouldn’t have had a choice without me.”

She ran the tip of her middle finger down his nose and lightly tapped the end of it. “So modest.”

This made him chuckle and reach up to take her hand. Covering his mouth with her palm, he kissed the center of it with warm lips. The droplets of water still lingering in his beard got on her hand. Just as soon as he’d taken her hand, he’d let it go. With a pounding heart, she pulled away and absently smoothed his hair over the crown of his head.

“Would you give me a list of songs? I’ve been thinking about the last night we saw each other—out on the patio—and those songs.”

She smiled down at him. He looked so open in that moment, no filter or wall between the two of them. “Of course. What’s your preference?”

“Anything you like. The older stuff sounds better to me. Who was the second singer? Sam?”

“Sam Cooke.”

“I liked him.”

Darcy pushed her fingers through his hair, scratching her short nails over his scalp. Steve’s eyes closed as she said, “He’s classic. So, you like doo-wop and soul from the sixties. What about the seventies?”

“Disco. Was that in the seventies?”

“Yes. You like disco?”

He smiled, but his eyes were still closed. “Not that I can tell. I watched a picture about the rise of disco. Good movie, but didn’t like the music.”

Darcy patted his chest with her hand. “Sit up for a minute. Lemme go get my phone.”

After he lifted his head off her lap, she hurried over to the kitchen counter to grab the phone. For a fleeting moment, she thought he might not lie back down. Her worry was unfounded because as soon as her ass hit the cushion, the back of his head was on her lap and his shoulders were pressed down the outside of her thigh.

“Do you wanna try something from the seventies? Something not disco?”

“Something you love,” he said, watching her as she scrolled through her playlists.

“Sure,” Darcy agreed. “Something happy?”

“Yes.”

“Gotcha,” she told him, looking over her selection. “How about this?” she asked Steve before pressing play on Could It Be I’m Falling in Love by The Spinners.

The drums and piano led the way right into strings and horns. The song never failed to make her happy, but it was much more suited for driving with the windows down on a warm Saturday afternoon, not a few minutes before five in the morning on a Wednesday in her apartment. Was it Wednesday? All the days ran together anymore. All she knew were days when Steve was around and days when he wasn’t.

It didn’t take long before she regretted choosing this particular song. She didn’t need to listen to a man sing about falling in love while Steve Rogers was lying with his head on her lap. She flicked her eyes from the phone screen down to him and felt the bottom drop out of her stomach because he was staring up at her with a subtle smile on his face and such warmth in his eyes for her.

Darcy smiled back and swallowed the emotion crawling up her throat so she could say, “Better than disco.”

“It’s great, doll.”

“If you’re not lying to spare my feelings, then we can listen to the rest of this playlist. I’ve got other great hits from the seventies like the two headboard knockin’ jams you heard a week ago.”

He reached up to pinch a strand of her hair between his fingers, gently tugging on it. “I ain’t lying, sweetheart. I’d love to listen to the rest with you.”

If her head wasn’t fucked up before he said that, then it was definitely fucked up afterward. She’d told Jane that being with Steve almost always felt real. It never really felt like he was faking. Darcy had chalked it up to him being easy going or a good actor, despite evidence to the contrary. In moments like this, she wondered if maybe he wasn’t acting at all. If the way he’d been looking at her and the things he did or said that showed he cared actually meant he really did _care_ , and not just as a friend.

“Close your eyes and rest, Steve,” she said, tracing his brows with her fingertips again.

He smiled and said, “Okay.” And just like that he closed his eyes and sighed. He was still awake when Marvin Gaye’s Come Get to This started, but he was out before it finished.

Darcy felt the burn in her sinuses that told her the ache in her chest was about to manifest itself with tears. She tilted her head back and blinked rapidly to stave them off. It didn’t work, so she quickly swept the tears away before they could roll down her cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy woke up just before noon. She was in her bed and fully dressed, but unaware of how she'd gotten there. Thinking back, the last thing she could remember was listening to music on the couch with Steve’s head on her lap. Her apartment was silent. If she'd put herself to bed, then the fan that sat on her nightstand would have been humming away.

Was this Steve's doing? Had he carried her into her bedroom and left her in bed before leaving that morning? Why did she feel like she had a hangover? Maybe it was the stress and the long nights. Darcy didn't ever think she'd be down to work a nine to five job, but she could really use some of that routine nowadays.

After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she swiped on minimal makeup. Once that was done, she changed clothes and took the east stairwell to the second floor. Jane was on the phone and immediately held up her hand to silence whoever had walked into the lab.

Darcy stuck her tongue out at the woman and collapsed into her office chair.

“Mmm, hmm. Yes.” Jane paused before saying, “Thank you so much. I appreciate your flexibility on this.”

After Jane hung up, Darcy raised her brows at the question.

“I extended our use of the Green Bank scope. If we search just a couple degrees–”

“What if we use it as a weapon? We already know it poofs whatever is around it,” Darcy asked.

Jane frowned. “No. It isn't a weapon. This is space travel. If we can hone the location, then this could change the way–”

“What if we never find the beacon?”

“We will,” Jane responded slowly. “And once we do, we need to work on stabilizing the power source, maybe even increasing the radius. What if it could be put on spacecraft, shuttles? We could explore the galaxy.”

Instead of playing devil’s advocate with Jane, Darcy pulled her glasses off and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Did you get much rest?” Jane asked.

“Some. You?”

“I can barely sleep,” Jane replied, turning her gaze back to the monitors on her desk. “I have so much data to comb through.”

“Coffee it is,” Darcy said, pushing herself up to her feet again. “Or I should say bitter, black sludge that only passes as coffee because it contains caffeine. Why does Nick Fury hate us?”

“He's a tea drinker,” Jane absently said.

Darcy considered that for a moment before saying, “Huh. Weird.”

“Green tea. Sometimes chamomile.”

“Even weirder. I'd figure a hard ass like him would be mainlining coffee or at least drinking the bitterest black tea you can buy.”

When Jane didn't respond, Darcy left to get their coffee and start the long afternoon and evening of beacon-watching. It was, without a doubt, the least favorite part of her job.

Around two o’clock that afternoon, Darcy's stomach was a mess of caffeine and discontent when Steve peeked his head in the door. She felt a rush of pleasure at seeing his face and then the bottom dropped out when she wondered if he'd been deployed on another mission so soon.

“Darcy,” Steve said with a nod. “Doctor–”

“Jane,” the other woman said without looking up. “Nice to see you, Steve.”

“She only lets people she likes call her Jane,” Darcy told him in a stage whisper.

Steve smiled and walked over to Darcy's desk. “Well, that's something,” he said, coming around behind the piece of furniture and perching his oh-so-perfect ass on the corner of it.

She looked up at him. He looked well rested and happy in his tactical gear with the sleeves rolled up. “Did you tuck me in last night?” she asked.

He nodded. “I did. Was that okay?”

“Fine and dandy. When did you leave?”

“Around ten this morning. Can't believe you let me fall asleep on you.”

She smiled and said, “I hope it was good sleep.”

“Oh, it was the best.”

“So are you off to save the world or did you just decide you needed to look extra sexy for drills?”

This made him chuckle. “Guess I wanted to look extra sexy.” While his admission was intended to be funny and did make her laugh softly, it also gave her such relief. No mission. Maybe she’d be able to spend time with him today.

“Extra sexy, huh? What’s the occasion?”

Steve shrugged, the muscles of his wide shoulders bunching up around his ears. He smiled when he said, “I was coming to see you.”

It was one of those very few times in her life when Darcy opened her mouth, but nothing managed to find its way out. Instead, she floundered for words until Steve chuckled and lifted a foot up to tap one of the legs of her chair.

“I was coming to see if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight,” he said. His mirthful expression had taken a turn for the serious now that he was asking.

Darcy looked up at him and said, “You look like you think I might say no.”

“You might. Wouldn’t blame you for it either.”

“Steven Rogers, we both know my ass is saying yes to dinner. What’s our play tonight? Are we going to make out on the table so there isn’t any question from the gossip mill?”

Steve opened his mouth and inhaled a breath like he was about to respond. His eyes that had been trained on her dropped to the floor as he closed his mouth after, presumably, reconsidering what he’d been about to say.

“What?” she asked.

He shook his head, the corners of his mouth turning down into a frown. “Nothing, doll. Nothing.”

“You seem upset. I was just joking about making out on the table. Obviously, any self-respecting couple would save that for an alcove in the kitchen.”

He smiled, but it was forced and didn’t reach his eyes. “Obviously.”

“What time?”

One of his hands was braced on the edge of her desk, and she was distracted by the way he tapped his fingertips on the corner of the desktop. After a long moment of silence, he shook his head and said, “You okay with it being a little late? Maybe eight-thirty?”

“Cafeteria closes at eight,” she told him. “Are you cooking in your place?” Would she get to spend the evening in his apartment? The idea sent thoughts scattering through her mind. Any time with Steve was desirable, but especially those quiet moments in his apartment just between the two of them. And if this was in his apartment, why have dinner? The point of dinner was to solidify their fake dating status.

“It’s open late tonight,” he said.

Darcy furrowed her brows. “Steve, the cafeteria always closes at eight. It has since I’ve been here. There have been many a late-ass night in this lab when I wished I could just get a bowl of mac and cheese before I die.”

“It’s open late tonight. Trust me. Eight-thirty?”

“Uh, sure…” she said.

“Too late?” he asked.

Darcy poked his leg. “No. I just don’t believe that it’ll be open. If it isn’t, then you’re going to be making me a peanut butter sandwich so I don’t starve.”

“Of course,” he replied. “Trust me, Darcy.”

She smiled up at him as he stood. “I do trust you. You’re, like, one of the only people I trust.”

“Good to know,” he said, backing away from his desk slowly.

“Is it?” she asked him, having flashbacks to their conversation in his bedroom when he’d asked her the same question.

“Mmm, hmm,” he told her, “it really is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple people asked me for a list of the songs quoted at the beginning of each chapter. These songs were part of my personal playlist that was on repeat while I was writing the majority of the fic. If you're interested, here is a link to a YouTube playlist where you can listen to them all. All but two are from the 50s-70s. Enjoy!  
>    
> <https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2o_A-FR3X3CFqidvkOMDHX_g5IIeO9ES>


	15. Chapter 15

 

> _”At first I thought it was infatuation, but oh, it’s lasted so long. Now I find myself wanting to marry you and take you home.” - Sam Cooke (You Send Me)_

Four hours later, she was about to bounce her head off the wall in frustration when her phone dinged. There was a short text message from Steve.

**Forgot to tell you I’ll be wearing a suit in case you want to dress up**

Before she could respond he’d sent her a second message.

**You don’t have to. You’ll be beautiful in anything. Just thought I’d say**

She had her thumbs poised over the phone’s keyboard as she considered his strange texts when a third arrived.

**Ignore me. I don’t know how to talk to you sometimes**

This made Darcy laugh. She pushed aside her curiosity over his odd messages that encouraged her to dress up and sent him a message back to relieve him of his misery.

**Meet you in front of the cafeteria at 830. I’ll be the hottie in the red dress**

So maybe he was getting into the spirit of things now. Maybe that was what made him suggest they dress up. If so, then she was in trouble because she was barely holding it together even with him just acting like she was his new favorite friend. If he laid on the charm with a fucking suit? Ugh, she could just dig a grave for her poor heart.

“He suggested I dress up for dinner,” she told Jane.

Jane glanced up from her work. “You do know you’re going on a real date, right?” It was the first thing Jane had said on the subject since Steve had left hours before.

“What real date?”

“With Steve. I’m pretty sure he just asked you out for real.”

Darcy snorted and rolled her eyes. “No effing way, Janie. He’s just having fun with the faking it thing. We’re not going on a real date in the cafeteria. I’m sure he’s got his wires crossed and we’ll end up getting something from the refrigerated case and eating by ourselves since they shut shit down at eight.”

“Darcy, you’re really dense sometimes. Can’t you see he likes you?”

Jane’s matter-of-fact tone and the offhand way she just threw the idea out into the air like Darcy should have known all along made Darcy pause. _Was_ this a real date? Is that why he was dressing up? Is that why she had butterflies in her stomach over the thought of slipping into a dress and spending time with him? He liked her; that much was obvious. What if Jane was right and he liked her in _that_ way? Just the idea made her anxious.

She stood up and grabbed her sweater off the back of her chair. “Of course he likes me. We’re friends now.” The words fell flat and tasted strange on her tongue. Friends. The way he’d looked at her last night felt like he was a little more than friendly, though.

Jane smiled and shook her head. “Whatever you say, Dar. Just don’t come in here and tell me tomorrow that it was a real date and you didn’t know.”

She walked past Jane and bopped her on the head lightly. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don’t wait up. I’ll be busy having fake sex with my fake boyfriend.”

“Or real sex with your real boyfriend,” Jane said.

Darcy turned before she opened the door to the lab. “Hey, Gonzo isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my silicone lover.”

Jane didn’t respond with anything but a roll of her eyes.

Darcy walked out of the room feeling like she was both floating on cloud nine and going to have a nervous breakdown. She hurried up to her apartment to shower and get ready. Sometimes when she stopped thinking about it, the excitement thrumming through her body felt like the same excitement you get for a real date with a guy you already know you like. It was increasingly difficult to convince herself it was fake and all for show. Despite that spark of hope in the bottom of her stomach, Darcy knew he wasn’t capable of being in a real relationship with all that baggage and his inability to put himself first _ever_.

By the time eight-thirty was on the horizon, her hair was in loose waves down her back, her eyes were smokey, and her lips were a slightly brighter red than her dress. The dress had a sweetheart neckline with inch-wide straps that cut over her shoulders. The bodice was tight and displayed her assets to great advantage, and the A-line skirt fell just above her knees. It was a good dress, and she’d worn it on a few occasions that required getting dressed up. These days those occasions seemed few and far between, though.

She didn’t bother to bring anything but herself when she went downstairs to meet Steve outside the cafeteria. Darcy would have felt self-conscious about the way she’d dolled herself up, but the sideways glances from people seemed to roll right off when she thought about who she was meeting. As she rounded the corner toward the end of the building that housed the cafeteria, the people moving about became more scarce. The hallway outside the cafeteria was vacant except for Steve Rogers.

He was standing by the closed doors with his hands in the pockets of his navy blue suit. He looked anxious, but he also looked downright edible. Her footsteps faltered for a moment, the rhythmic click of her heels stuttering against the tile when the thought that maybe Jane was right returned to the forefront of her mind. Was this a real date? It _felt_ like a real date.

Steve looked up from the floor between his feet. She watched his eyes sweep over her before they settled on her face. The brilliant smile he gave her sent all the butterflies in her stomach right up into flight. “Hey, Darcy,” he said, pulling his hands out of his pockets.

“Hey, Steve. You probably already know this, but you clean up real nice,” she told him, walking the rest of the way to the doors.

“You wore the red dress,” he observed.

“Told ya I would.”

“You look beautiful.”

She waved away his compliment and shook her head. “Hey, you don’t have to get all gushy with the praise when no one is around to hear.”

He opened his mouth before closing it. It was as if he’d thought better than to say what had almost come out. “Maybe they’re watching on the security cameras,” he told her.

“Probably. What’s her name? Dominique and her Cap groupie self.”

Steve just smiled and nodded at the door. “You wanna go in?”

“Why are the doors shut?”

“A surprise?” It was more question than a statement.

“There better not be a surprise party hiding in there. My birthday isn’t until October, and I hate them with a fiery passion.”

Steve pushed open one of the double doors and tilted his head toward the room in question.

Reluctantly, she stepped forward and leaned into the cafeteria. The room was empty and the overhead fluorescent lighting was off. There was one table covered in a white cloth with candles in the middle. Several of the other tables had portable hurricane lamps powered by batteries on them to give the room some more light. “What is this?” she asked as she stepped inside.

Steve followed behind her, and when she turned to look at him, he appeared to be nervous. “Thought you might like something nice, something better than me bringing you a sandwich.”

“This is too much, Steve. It's…” Darcy trailed off, unable to find the words to express how she didn't really deserve him going to so much trouble.

“It’s nothing, sweetheart. Just dinner.” He walked over to the table and pulled out a chair for her.

Darcy accepted the seat and let Steve tuck her into the table. “This is a lot more than dinner. I thought the kitchen is closed.”

“It is, but a couple people stayed behind for me.” He sat down and looked over Darcy's shoulder as he waved someone forward.

An older woman approached and sat down small salads in front of them before disappearing into the kitchen. Darcy watched her go before turning back to Steve. “No one can see us but us.” Darcy wanted an answer even though her comment wasn't a question.

Steve looked at his plate for a long moment before lifting his gaze and saying, “So? Did you want an audience?”

“No,” she replied quickly. “This is… I'm not worth all this. Even faking it, I'm not.”

“You're worth more, Darcy. Don't ever say you ain't worth it.”

With fluttering hands that were on the verge of trembling, she unfolded the cloth napkin at her place setting and settled it into her lap. Her mind was going a mile a minute as she tried to reorder her world to make sense now that Steve Rogers had gone to such lengths to make her dinner with him memorable. “Untrue,” she told him, “but it's nice of you to say so.”

“Darcy,” he said, a warning to his voice.

“Don't reprimand me, Steve,” she said.

“I don't like hearing you say things like that about yourself.”

Why did her throat feel thick with emotion? She sighed and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. The last thing she needed in her life was sweet, gorgeous Steven Rogers telling her that she was worth so much more than she thought. She was already head over heels for him, and he was making it worse, making her heart ache for what she couldn’t have. Even if he wanted something more than friendship from her, she knew he wasn’t going to let himself have it. Steve had nerves of steel and the willpower to rival Jane on a science mission.

“How’d you arrange this?” she asked, picking up her fork.

“Just asked. A couple people in the kitchen offered to say late.” He poked at his salad before looking up and her and smiling. “One of the women asked if I was bringing you.”

“Me?”

“Mmm, hmm. She asked if I was bringing that pretty brunette who smiles at everyone.”

Darcy laughed softly and speared some of her salad with the fork. “Is that a description of me?”

“Wasn’t any question in my mind who she was talking about,” he murmured. “She said you’re a good girl and that she approves. Her name’s Leena.”

“Oh, okay. This makes sense now. I convinced her to slip me Pop-Tarts for Jane on the sly. She and I are bros.”

“She stayed to cook because I told her I wanted to take you on a real date—just the two of us.”

“A real date?” she asked.

He dropped his gaze to his plate again but didn’t respond immediately. Instead of answering her question, he cleared his throat and said, “Leena said your favorite is lasagna. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Hell no, I don’t mind. I haven’t had it in, like, three weeks. Give me that noodly goodness.”

Her decision to let slide his inability to talk about what was going on seemed to relax him. He took a bite of his salad before glancing up and making eye contact for the first time in the past minute. “Any luck on the beacon?”

Darcy shook her head and said, “Not a bleep in the void,” before tucking into her salad.

///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\///\\\\\

The lasagna was great, but the company was better, especially after she tried to stop questioning his motive in asking her to have dinner with him. The fact was that they were alone in the cafeteria at a table set for two, and he looked like he didn’t want to be anywhere else. As much as she wanted to know what was going on, each time she brought up the end game for the evening, he seemed to pull back into himself. Was it a real date like he’d said? That was difficult for her to wrap her head around. Maybe he was just lonely and she was convenient.

“Sam showed me how to find songs on my phone,” he told her as he pushed his empty plate away. They’d both had seconds when Leena had come out to ask if they were interested. Darcy hadn’t missed the conspiratorial wink the older woman had thrown her way when she’d bought the two extra slices out.

“Oh yeah? Find anything you like?”

“I was listening to the songs you’ve played me.”

Darcy swiped the last of her bread through the sauce on her plate. “Just those?”

“For now. You need to show me more songs.”

Chewing the bite of food, she considered his request. “Well, I don’t know if you’re ready for eighties music just yet.”

Steve chuckled and said, “Okay. Your choice. Tell me what I should listen to.”

“You should listen to what sounds good to you,” she told him. “I’m serious about that. Don’t let people like me tell you what you should listen to.”

“I like people like you. And I’m asking.”

“If I had my phone, I’d find you something.”

Steve pulled his phone out and laid it on the table between them. “Please,” he said, looking up at her with those earnest and hopeful eyes that made the bottom drop out of her stomach.

Darcy pulled in a deep breath and picked up his phone as she considered what to play. What would Steve enjoy? What would sound good to his ears? She decided on Frankie Valli’s Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You and hit play. The song vibrated out of the small speaker of the phone as she laid it on the table again. The slow horns came first and then the drums and bass. Frankie Valli’s voice was sweet and soft.

Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips together before looking up at her through his lashes. She watched him find some reserve of willpower or courage before he pushed his chair back and looked at her. “Would you dance with me?”

She laughed softly and looked over her shoulder. “Who? Me?”

“You,” Steve agreed, moving around the table to hold out his hand.

“I’m a terrible dancer,” Darcy warned him. “I just flail around.”

“Good, we’ll be two peas in a pod, then. I don’t know how to dance either.”

This made her laugh and also made her slide her hand into his. They took just two steps to the side before Steve placed a hand gingerly on her waist while the other lifted her hand up, still clasped with his. “I can’t do this dancing,” she admitted, extracting her hand from his. Darcy curled the fingers of both over his shoulders. “This is better.”

He hesitated before putting his on her waist. Darcy took a step closer as she swayed to the left and then right. Steve’s hands slid to press against the small of her back just as her wrists crossed at the back of his neck.

“Is this dancing nowadays?” he whispered in her ear.

“The kind of dancing I do.”

“We seem to be going a little too slowly for the music.” He was right, the song had picked up halfway through.

Darcy moved slightly closer to him, just close enough that her chest brushed against his. The heat of his gaze on her cleavage was something she couldn’t have ignored, and when she looked up he glanced away. “I think we’re okay,” she told Steve.

They swayed together for a few moments, listening to the tinny sounds of the song playing through the phone speaker. It faded out all too soon and the room fell into silence again.

Just as Darcy moved to pull away, a woman’s voice started playing over the speakers in the cafeteria. It only took a couple seconds for Darcy to identify the voice as Etta James. She looked up at Steve who seemed to be just as confused until he directed his gaze over her shoulder.

“I think Leena thought we needed a second song,” Steve murmured with his lips against Darcy’s ear.

Darcy looked over her shoulder to see the two women from the kitchens standing in the doorway smiling. When she turned back to Steve, she pressed her forehead to his chest and reveled in the way his arms went around her. He smelled amazing and felt even better now that she was pressed against his body.

“Did they pick a good song?” he asked her.

“It’s called Sunday Kind of Love,” she said. “And, yes, it’s a good one. Do you like it?”

“I do,” he murmured.

They moved together in silence for the remainder of the song. It wasn’t really dancing, but Darcy would much rather have this bastardized version if it meant Steve Rogers would hold her close. When she laid her cheek against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat as it thudded slow and steady in his chest. For some reason, the sound brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them away before he could see how affected she was, before she ruined her perfect smokey eye that had taken her twenty minutes.

When the song ended, she pulled away and turned to dab the corners of her eyes with her fingertips. Steve had his hands in his pockets when she turned back around. “I’ll walk you to your door,” he offered with a tilt of his head toward the exit.

Being so close to him, her body pressed down the length of his, her ear laid on his chest, the weight and strength of his arms around her—they all coalesced into making her heartache at the mere sight of him. How could she ever just be friends with this man when she’d fallen so far, so fast?

She forced a smile and said, “Such a gentleman.”

Steve chuckled and offered her his arm. “Wish you could tell my mom that. She was always harping on me to mind my manners.”

She wrapped her arm around his and let him lead her out into the hallway. “I can’t imagine you ever not having immaculate manners,” Darcy said, leaning into him. He was solid, not budging an inch.

Two men in fatigues were headed down the hall toward them. Their backs straightened when they saw Steve. “Sir,” one of them said as they passed, nodding at him. Steve simply smiled back and acknowledged them with a nod of his own.

“Hey, at least we got a little press out of tonight.”

He looked over at her as they stopped at the elevator. “What?”

“Press. We got caught doing our date to perpetuate the rumors.”

Steve nodded slowly, but his gaze dropped to the floor. She could see how far away he was, lost in his thoughts.

“Hey, you don’t have to take me upstairs, Steve,” Darcy said, unsure of where they stood and what was going through his mind.

“No, I want to. What kind of guy would I be if I didn’t see my girl to her door?”

She laughed and let him direct her into the elevator with her arm still tucked snuggly against his body. “You’d be every other guy I’ve dated.”

“What happened with your last guy?” he asked, pressing the button for the third floor.

She laid her head on his arm right below his shoulder. “Nothing much. I guess I picked traveling with Jane over him. Like you, just with science, not fighting and saving the world.”

“You regret it?” he asked when the doors opened to reveal the hallway that led to her door.

“No,” Darcy replied without hesitation. “I don’t think I ever really loved him. I cared about him, but that’s not… the same. You know?”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“You saying you never loved her?”

Steve slowed as they approached her door. “Sharon? Yeah, I don’t think… I think I thought I should. She was pretty and kind and…” He sighed and shook his head. “I thought maybe I had just forgotten what it felt like or maybe I thought it’d never be like it was with Peggy.”

“What changed your mind? What made you realize it wasn’t that with her?”

“I didn’t at first. When we ended things, I thought I wasn’t cut out for relationships, thought that wasn’t for me.” They stopped in front of her door. “Hell, I still think it ain’t for me, but… now I know the problem with Sharon wasn’t that I can’t be in love. It was just that I wasn’t with her.”

She turned to stand in front of him, letting his arm slip out of her grasp. “Don’t write a relationship off, Steve. I know you feel like you gotta slow down, but maybe it’s what we were talking about. Maybe you just need to be less… reckless. The right woman won’t ask you to quit. I mean, Jane asked Thor to stop and now she regrets it. If someone loves you, then they love all that world-saving shit too because it’s part of you.”

“Yeah,” he said softly, looking down at her with eyes that looked so sad, “maybe.” He looked away and cleared his throat. “I guess I should… let you get on with your night.”

Darcy had a flashback of one of their first awkward dinners in the cafeteria and the way he seemed to want to stay even when he knew he didn’t really have a reason. She remembered the way she’d made up a reason to get him to stay, the way she’d given him an excuse to stay for just a little longer.

“You know,” she whispered, leaning in conspiratorially, “I bet that Cap Groupie Dominique is still watching the security feeds. You should probably come inside to avoid blowing our story.”

Steve’s eyes moved to the camera at the end of the hall and then back to Darcy. “You sure?” he asked.

She smiled. “Positive.”

“Well,” he said, glancing over at her almost shyly, “I wouldn’t want to ruin all our hard work.”

“I mean, people are going to think you’re crazy if you let me go into my apartment alone, considering how awesome I look in this dress.”

“That’s true,” Steve agreed, “and I’m not that crazy. So I should probably come inside. Just for a bit.”

“Exactly,” Darcy said, letting the scanner next to the door do its work. The latch clicked and she pushed the door the rest of the way open.

Her place was exactly as she’d left it: a mess. There were shoes in the foyer by the door and dirty dishes on the kitchen counter surrounded by crumbs. There was a half-eaten box of crackers on the end table by her couch and a crumpled blanket on the armchair by the window. She smiled at Steve and said, “Sorry for the disaster. Don’t go in my bedroom; it’s even worse.”

For his part, Steve just chuckled and shut the door behind them. “It ain’t that bad, doll.”

“I second-guessed what to wear, so about a third of my wardrobe is on my bed or in the floor. I bet that would just kill you. You’re so neat.”

“Probably because of my mom and being in the service,” he replied, shoving his hands in the pockets of his dress slacks and walking further into the apartment. It was similar to his, only a bit smaller with the furniture flipped in a mirror image. She had a few posters on the walls and the fridge was covered with notes she’d scribbled to herself—some of them just silly quotes or words to live by. “Where you gonna put your portrait? You still want it?”

She put her hands on her hips and surveyed the living room. “Someplace really obvious so people will think I’m in love with myself,” Darcy told him. “Maybe right there.” She pointed at the wall facing the entry.

“It’s finished,” he said softly, his gaze on the floor.

“Yeah, I saw last night.” After a brief pause, she said, “What made you paint me?”

He looked up and shook his head as he smiled. “I… I don’t know. I sat down the night after you and I had sandwiches by the mechanic’s garage after that mission. I, uh, sat down there and that’s what came out of the brush. I love painting anything, but… it’s always nice to paint something beautiful.”

Darcy swallowed and asked, “Are you saying I’m beautiful?” with a nervous laugh.

“That ain’t no surprise, Darcy. Of course you are.”

“Stop or you’ll get me all flustered.”

“You don’t seem like the type of girl that would get flustered when a guy pays her a compliment.”

“It’s different when it’s coming from you,” she said without even considering what she was saying. It was the honest truth, though. Steve’s esteem held more weight than everyone else. That was partly because of his character, but also because she was pretty sure she was hopelessly in love with him.

“Different how?” he asked.

“Just different,” she replied walking up to him and tugging on his blue tie. “How can you stand this around your neck?”

He laughed. “I can’t. Always hated wearing them.”

“Why’d you wear it then?”

His shoulders lifted to bunch around his ears. “Just wanted to look good for our date.”

“You look good in anything, Steve.” Darcy slipped the tip of her index finger into the knot of the tie. His hands came out of his pockets to cover hers, helping her loosen the material. Once she knew he was on board, she took the initiative and untied it, leaving it hanging loosely around his neck. “You wanna hang out for a little bit?”

He nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

“Well, if you’re gonna stick around, then I have to admit that I don’t actually look this good naturally. I have, like, two layers of Spanx underneath this baby.”

“Uh, Spanx?”

“Shapewear.” When he still looked confused, she said, “Like a corset. It holds the jiggle in.”

She could see his jaw tense and the muscles of his throat contract as he swallowed. “Sounds worse than my tie.”

She laughed. “It probably is. So, I’m gonna go take it off and get changed into some PJs.”

“Okay,” he replied, blue eyes wide and watching her as she turned and walked into her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are great. Thank you for all these lovely comments and all the support for my first Shieldshock. This author very much appreciates the warm embrace from all you Shieldshock lovers and from those readers who gave it a shot because they liked my other stuff. I adore you all for realz.


	16. Chapter 16

 

> _”But if you want me to love you, then baby I will.” - Aaron Neville (Tell It Like It Is)_

Darcy pushed the door almost, but not completely, shut. She felt a little careless even though she knew Steve would never peek or come inside without her permission.

As soon as her shoes were gone, she peeled off the dress and the Spanx bodysuit. She even peeled off the control top underwear that was supposed to lift her ass up and make it perky and cute. Still feeling a more than a little on the impetuous side of things, she slipped on a nicer-than-normal pair of panties with matching blue cotton shorts and shirt. The shorts were shorter than she’d be comfortable wearing outside, but that was okay. She was just in her place with Steve.

Darcy wanted him to like her. Scratch that. He _did_ like her. She wanted him to like her in _that way_. She wanted him to look at her like he wanted to rip off her shirt and pin her to a bed or any horizontal surface. Or any vertical surface with that matter. He was a strong guy; the thought of sex against a wall with him was enough to make her so wet it was a little embarrassing.

Sometimes she got the impression he might be down, but other times thought she was deluding herself with such an unattainable fantasy.

When she returned to the living room, he was sitting in the middle of her couch looking comfortable and lost in his own thoughts. His jacket was draped over the arm of a chair with his tie. He’d undone the first two buttons of his dress shirt and untucked it from the slacks. His arms were stretched across the back of the couch in either direction and his legs were spread. It made her want to crawl into his lap.

“Comfortable?” she asked.

He jumped a bit as if she’d startled him and lifted his gaze up to her. Sometimes when he looked at her, she could feel the weight of his gaze on her skin. This was was one of those times. “Yeah,” he said, “you?” She could see the way his eyes lingered on her legs and chest. She hadn’t worn a bra, and whether that was a mistake remained to be seen.

“Comfy as I can be,” she replied, walking over and sitting down beside him. Because he’d chosen to sit in the middle, she had no choice but to be close, her leg almost touching his.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “do you want me to move down? Give you more room?” His eyes were earnest, but he hadn’t moved a muscle to give her space.

“Nope,” Darcy replied. “You’re good where you are.” She leaned forward, folding in on herself so she could dig her thumb into the ball of her foot, massaging it.

Steve tilted his head to look down. “Are you hurt?”

She smiled. “No, just stupid. I haven’t worn heels in a long time. My feet aren’t happy with me.”

“When I was younger my ma would give me a nickel for an ice cream soda if I'd massage her feet after work.”

Darcy chuckled. “Well, hell. If I'd have known that, I would have bought you a root beer float for a little of that sweet relief.”

He smiled nervously. “If you want, I could…”

Raising her brows, she leaned away from him and waited for the end of that sentence. When it wasn't forthcoming, she baited him by saying, “You could what?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I'm overstepping boundaries.”

“Steve, you've licked whipped cream out of my mouth and I've faked us having sex in your bed. What boundaries are you referring to?”

Her comment made him laugh under his breath. “You're right. Come on, give me your feet.”

She looked from his open hands to his face. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am. I haven't given a foot massage in a long time, so I might be rusty. Fair warning and all.”

Darcy's hesitation only lasted a brief moment before she was scooting back and kicking her feet up into his lap. “I haven't had a foot rub in years, so there will be no complaints from the needy.”

Steve's hands were warm and dry and they enveloped her feet. He focused on her left foot first, gently running the tip of his index finger over the red spot on the outside of her big toe where the shoe had rubbed. Her groan of pleasure that somehow morphed into a moan happened when he pressed a thumb firmly into the arch and moved it all the way up to pressure the ball of her foot.

“You okay?” he asked, easing up on his firm touch.

Darcy’s laugh was breathy. “Uh, yeah. That feels so good.”

“Yeah?” he said, repeating the movement before focusing his attention on the spot where her second toe met the ball of her foot.

She clenched her teeth together. “Yes,” she replied, almost grunting out the affirmative.

“Mmm,” he murmured, squeezing her foot at the heel and moving down the length of it. “Good. I was looking for a way to repay you for some of what you've done to help me.”

This made her laugh again. “Repay me for enjoying your company? That's ridiculous.”

“What?” he asked with a grin. “You weren't helping me out because you felt sorry for me?”

“No,” she replied, shifting her hips and pressing her back into the arm of the couch. “Helped you because I like you.”

“That's good to know.”

“Is it?” she said. It was a familiar conversation they seemed to repeat.

He took her right foot into his hand after settling the left on his rock hard thigh. “Sure,” he told her. After a long moment of her trying to repress sighs and moans of pleasure at his touch, she heard him add, “Your skin is so soft.”

It wasn't until then that she realized one hand was rubbing her foot while the other was resting on her leg, wrapped around her calf. Darcy swallowed and closed her eyes before tilting her head up to the ceiling. This thing with him wasn’t what she wanted it to be. He wouldn’t let himself be with her even if he felt that way. He was just starved for connection, for kindness, for touch. “Well,” she told him with her eyes now open and staring at the ceiling, “I _did_ shave for you since I was led to believe this was a fancy date.”

His hand moved up her calf a couple inches and then back down to where it had been. “It’s the fanciest one I’ve had in a while.”

“Yeah?”

She could hear the smile in his voice when he moved his hand up her leg again. “The best one, too.”

Her thoughts scattered as she tried to read between these strange lines. Her emotions were a bizarre mix of pleasure and anticipation and despair. Even if he was being genuine, how could things ever work out between them? If there was one thing the past few years had taught Darcy it was that everything changed. People never stayed in the same place and even relationships she thought were rock solid with two people who were head over heels in love with each other never seemed to work out. She’d been so sure that Thor would have moved the world for Jane, but he’d left. And Jane had let him. If that was reality, then how were things ever going to work out with Steve Rogers and her?

Darcy moved her gaze from the ceiling to him and tried to force a smile she wasn’t feeling. “Back at ya, Steve. All my best dates end with a foot rub.”

His smile was strained, too, but he didn’t hold her gaze that long. Instead, he turned his attention back to her feet and focused on making her thighs clench together at the delicious way he was massaging her.

After a couple minutes of silence, she said, “Thank you for the evening, Steve. Like, _really_ thank you for it. I know this all started out as a joke, but…”

He looked up at her as his hands stilled on her feet. There was something strange in his eyes. Fear? Anticipation? Maybe something else she couldn’t identify. “But?” he breathed out.

“But, I like spending time with you and… you made me feel special tonight even if it’s just… whatever.” She felt like she could barely breathe around the lump in her throat.

“Well, like I said, you deserve it,” Steve said. He gave her feet one last squeeze before Darcy pulled them in so she could sit cross-legged on the couch, facing him

His eyes were on the coffee table in front of them, his expression distant. There was an entire world inside him that she only got glimpses of in these quieter moments when it was just the two of them. He was always quick to close the door, though. The thought that he did it to protect himself or to be able to do what he did made her heart ache. It also made her realize that Jane’s relationship with Thor had been so much more complex than she’d thought. There was a toll to loving someone like Thor or Steve, just like there was a toll they paid to keep people safe. She wondered if Steve felt for her a fraction of what she felt for him. Sometimes when she caught him looking at her, she thought he might feel even more. Now, though, he was shutting down.

“Steve,” Darcy said softly, reaching out a hand and placing it over his hand that rested on his thigh. When he looked over at her, she said, “Are you okay?”

His jaw tensed. “Just thinking,” he whispered.

“Can I know what you’re thinking?”

He glanced away for a brief moment before swinging his gaze back to her. “Thinking about whether you’d let me stay here tonight.”

She laughed softly, but it sounded sad and broken. “Do you even have to ask, Steve? You know the answer.”

Darcy stood up and held out her hand to him. He didn’t take it right away. Instead, he said, “I can sleep here on the couch.”

“Bullshit,” she said, wiggling her fingers. “Come on. My bed is big enough for both of us and I’ll keep my hands to myself.” He finally took her hand and let her pull him off the couch. “But only if you want me to,” Darcy added with a grin.

This made him chuckle. “Lady’s choice,” he murmured, echoing what he’d said to her weeks ago when they’d had dinner outside the garage and he’d encouraged her to decide on a sandwich. She mulled over what he’d meant or if he was just trying to be cute.

Her bedroom was dark and cool. She let go of his hand and flipped on the lamp atop her dresser. It cast a warm glow over the room and made the skin on Steve’s neck look golden. “I don’t think sleeping in your suit is going to be very comfortable,” she said, grabbing her clothes off the bed and piling them in an armchair.

He lifted his hands and started unbuttoning the white dress shirt. Darcy could do nothing but watch as he finished and shrugged it off. “What?” he asked when he looked up.

She shrugged. “Just wondering what you normally sleep in. Do you wanna go get your PJs?”

He looked down at his body. “Don’t have any. Usually just sleep in my underwear.”

“Oh,” she said. Were her eyes actually as wide as she thought they were? Was she giving him a bug-eyed stare as she considered Steve in his undies? Probably. “So, boxers or briefs?”

Her question cracked the tension between them, making him chuckle as he dropped his head to rest his chin on his chest. “Does it matter?”

“Well, I gotta admit, I was hoping for briefs until I remembered those boxer briefs in your drawer.”

“You sayin’ you wanna see?” he asked, standing on the other side of the bed and watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite place and his hands on his hips.

“You sayin’ you’re gonna strip for me?” she asked.

Steve looked up and smiled. This time it seeped into his eyes. He reached behind his neck and grabbed a fistful of shirt. In one smooth motion, he’d pulled the undershirt off and tossed it on the floor. Before she could even process that he was shirtless, his hands were already unbuckling his belt.

He looked up at her with brows raised before he unzipped the slacks. She knew he was waiting for her to stop him, but that was the furthest thing from her mind. “You want me to protect your modesty by covering my eyes?” she asked him, covering them with one hand and peeking through spread fingers.

Steve laughed and said, “Nah, doll. I don’t mind you watching,” before he let his slacks fall to the floor.

Heather gray boxer briefs, it was. Her mouth had gone dry, but she was sure all that moisture had gone straight between her legs. “You better take your shoes and socks off real fast if you wanna keep looking sexy,” she quipped.

This made him laugh again, but he smoothly toed off the shoes and socks before he stepped out of the pants pooled on the floor at his feet. His skin was flawless and covered smooth hard muscle. “You sure I ain’t gonna make you uncomfortable, Darcy?”

“Uh, fuck no. I’m suddenly inspired to take up painting. You wanna teach me how and then be my model?”

“I know you’re just poking fun, doll, but I’d love to teach you how to paint.”

“And how do you feel about being my nude model?”

He reached down and turned the covers back on her messy bed. “Anything you want. I could teach you how to make your bed in the morning, too.”

“Hey,” she said, “I don’t appreciate that. I can’t decide if you’re trying to flirt or trying to rag on me for not making my bed like a good little soldier.”

“Little of both,” he replied. “Which side do you want me on?”

“Is on top of me an acceptable choice?”

He looked up at her, and Darcy saw a strange mixture of surprise and heat. He licked his lips and murmured, “Like I said, lady’s choice.”

Instead of replying, she crawled into her bed and watched him sit down on the opposite side. All she could see was his smooth back, all golden skin and muscles. His head was hanging down and his forearms were resting on his knees. Just as she reached out to touch the middle of his back and urge him to lie down, he did just that.

They shifted until they were comfortable and lying on their sides, facing each other. Darcy smiled at him and he smiled back. It was genuine and warm and made her feel like maybe she was a little bit special. Maybe Steve Rogers would turn this world upside down just for her. What a feeling, she thought.

“What are you thinking?” he whispered.

“Just thinking about you.”

“What about me?”

“That you look good in just underwear, but you look even better when you smile like that.”

He laughed and turned his face into the pillow beneath his head for just a moment.

“I’m thinking I’m glad you decided to stay.”

Steve’s expression sobered. “I’m glad I did, too. I’ve wanted to for so long.”

Darcy adjusted her head on the pillow and said, “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Didn’t want to presume.”

She wanted to open her mouth and tell him that she needed to confess that all this had gotten away from her, that she wanted him for real and not just because they’d been faking. Darcy was pretty confident that she wasn’t the only one with those feelings by the way they’d been dancing around them lately.

“You forgot to take your makeup off,” he said, reaching a hand out and laying his palm against her cheek so he could lightly run the pad of his thumb over her red lips.

“Yeah,” she said, “I’ll regret that in the morning, but I really don’t want to get out of bed right now. It’s a good thing this lipstick is the shit—smudge-proof and long-lasting.”

His thumb swept over her chin and then back up to her bottom lip when she stopped talking. “Is this out of line?” he whispered.

“You touching me?” Darcy whispered back.

He shifted a little closer. “Yeah.”

“Fuck no.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said, sliding his hand up into her hair. She moved closer, and he closed the last of the space between them before letting his lips hover over her mouth. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face and the heat of his skin as she pressed her palms to his bare chest.

With just a slight lift of his chin, he kissed her. It was soft and simple, but only for a moment. He parted his lips and teased the seam of her mouth with the very tip of his tongue. It was like the tentative touch brought to life the reality of his body pressed down the length of hers and ignited a fire in her abdomen. Darcy opened for him and let Steve sweep his tongue into her mouth. He moaned in pleasure, the sound startling in its vulnerability.

She kissed him back, arching into his body, which made him switch hands. The arm trapped beneath him came up to hold the back of her head while his right hand was free to roam her body. He skimmed it over her shoulder and the side of her breast before tracing the indent of her waist and swell of her hip. Darcy gasped in surprise when he slipped it behind her and grabbed a handful of her ass. The way she kissed him hard, reaching up to pull him into her with a hand fisted in his hair, seemed to embolden him. He rolled her onto her back and slipped a knee between her thighs.

Darcy arched up into him, dragging Steve’s face closer so she could kiss him again. His hands were everywhere at once. Propping himself up on one elbow, Steve used that hand to cup her right breast over the shirt while his other hand slipped beneath the hem of it and skimmed over her stomach.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her lips when they both paused to catch their breaths.

Darcy’s laugh was soft and breathy. “What are you talking about? I’ve never felt this amazing.” She ran her fingertips lightly over the wiry hair of his beard and then down his neck and over his collarbones.

Steve didn’t respond in words, but he did move his hand further up inside her shirt to cup her other breast. She hooked a leg over his hip when he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. When she lifted her hips up, he settled further into her body, allowing her to feel how hard he was beneath the thin material of his cotton boxer briefs. Suddenly, he was tugging at her shirt, and she was lifting up to help him strip it off her. By the time it went over her head, he was on her again, his lips moving down her throat to the valley between her breasts. His breath was hot and the beard tickled her sensitive skin when he took a nipple into his mouth and licked it with his hot, wet tongue.

“Steve,” Darcy moaned, grabbing onto the back of his head and holding him against her. He dragged his tongue over her chest and took the other nipple into his mouth.

She could feel his fingertips biting into her hips as he held her down so he could taste the skin of her breasts. If she could have her wish, then they wouldn’t have any clothes on, and he’d be buried deep inside her. She’d never wanted to get out of her clothes as fast as she wanted to now. Darcy shifted beneath him, silently begging him to let up on her, to put her out of her misery.

He lifted up on his knees and looked down at her. She wondered what he saw. Her on her back beneath him, hair wild on the pillow, eyes hot with desire? “Okay?” he asked.

“Very okay,” she replied, dropping her eyes to his groin. The outline of his cock was evident beneath the fabric of his underwear. The cotton was doing little to hide how big he was.

Steve slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of her shorts and panties, urging her to lift up so he could pull them off. Darcy was happy to oblige by lifting her legs up so he could easily slide the clothes off without leaving the cradle between her thighs. Before she could wrap her legs around his waist again, he’d slipped them over his wide shoulders, exposing her to his eyes.

Darcy felt like he could probably see how wet he’d made her, and the way he unconsciously licked his lips when he leaned down and slid back made her sure she was dripping all over the bedsheets. She grabbed two fistfuls of his hair at the same moment he closed his mouth over the opening of her pussy and swiped his tongue up the slit. He’d told her weeks ago that he was a giver and wasn’t that the damn truth. Steve’s enthusiasm was second to none in her experience. He pushed her legs up and back into her torso as he pressed his face between her legs, licking up every drop of arousal he could get his tongue on.

Every now and then, he’d slide that tongue right up the side of her clit, and her pussy would clench down in anticipation. “I need you,” she demanded, pulling his hair. It didn’t do much. In fact, pulling his hair just seemed to make him work all that harder at making her come. She let out a strangled cry when he slipped two of his fingers up into her and sucked her clit between his lips so he could flick the tip of it with his tongue. It was too much, too overwhelming. Darcy called out his name as a white-hot bolt of pleasure shot through her. It originated right where his mouth sucked her and quickly melted into a wave of euphoria that warmed her entire body. Everything disappeared but Steve. No world, no apartment, no bed. Just him and his mouth on her, his fingers inside her, his scratchy beard against the inside of her thighs as she clamped down on him.

“Fuck,” she muttered. The aftershocks of the intense orgasm had made her limbs limp and useless.

“Been thinking about doing that for a long time, sweetheart.” He pressed a soft kiss right at the top of her slit.

Darcy released her grip on his hair and threw her forearm over her eyes to hide the way her entire face was flushed with desire. “How long?” she asked as she caught her breath.

He licked up the slit of her pussy again, making her shiver in pleasure. “Since that night I caught you smoking out on the patio,” he said, breath hot against her sex.

The confession caught her off guard, especially after the orgasm. “What?”

“Thought about you lying back on that picnic table and letting me kiss you here,” he whispered, doing just that.

“Steve,” she said, grabbing two fistfuls of his hair again and using them to pull him away from her sensitive clit. “You didn’t even know me then.”

“I know. Just want you more now that I do.” He let her pull him up, but he controlled the pace, scattering open-mouthed kisses over her stomach and chest.

The evidence of her arousal was glistening in his beard when he was close enough to look down into her eyes. Darcy said, “I want you, Steve. Please.”

Hastily, he turned his head and rubbed his mouth against his left shoulder. She parted her lips to beg him to fuck her, but he’d already leaned in to kiss her. It was hot and wet and filthy. If she hadn't already been dripping all over the sheets, then she would have been after he’d finished thoroughly fucking her mouth with his. She was vaguely aware of him moving—twisting and lifting up and pressing back down into the cradle her thighs made. It wasn’t until he pulled away from the kiss to look into her eyes that she realized he’d managed to get his underwear off. Darcy could feel the blunt head of his cock pressed against the lips of her pussy. Steve was propped up on one elbow while the other hand was wrapped around his cock so he could guide himself into her body.

His eyes were locked on hers, and she couldn’t seem to look away as he carefully pushed into her. Wide blue eyes filled with desire and something else. Conflict? Need? Love? His lips parted and he filled her so slowly she thought it would never end, that she’d just die of anticipation. “Steve,” she whispered, her voice breaking on his name as emotion closed up her throat.

When he was all the way inside her, feeling bigger than she’d gauged when checking him out through the fabric of his underwear, his eyes fluttered closed and he pressed his forehead against hers. His breath was coming in shallow pants, the puffs warmth on her face. Darcy hooked one of her legs over his hip and dug her heel into his perfect ass. She tilted her chin up and brushed her lips over his lower one. Steve obliged her wordless request by slanting his mouth over hers. When he made to pull away, she sucked his plump bottom lip into her mouth and sank her teeth gently into it. It made Steve growl and shift his hips. She hadn’t thought it possible, but it allowed him to go a little deeper. The sensation bordered on uncomfortable even if she was wetter than she’d ever been in her life.

Darcy tried to lift her hips up to entice him to move, but he had her pinned to the bed. “Steve,” she whined, clenching the walls of her pussy.

He grunted and pulled out halfway before sliding back inside. “You feel so good, Darcy,” he whispered with his lips pressed to the shell of her ear.

She took either side of his face in her hands and positioned him so she could see into his expressive eyes again. “You feel better,” Darcy whispered back.

Steve let out a strange sound of intense emotion, almost a sob, but not quite. “Sweetheart, please,” he murmured. It sounded like he was begging, but she didn’t know what for. And she didn’t have time to consider it because he pulled out and pushed back in again. This time there was no reprieve between strokes as he thrust again and again. The friction of his cock and the way he was looking down at her like she was the only thing in the world that meant anything to him was overwhelming.

Darcy grabbed his face and pulled him in a for a kiss that lingered. He didn’t miss a stroke as he slowly claimed her mouth with soft lips and a pliant tongue. She gasped into his mouth when he slipped an arm under the leg that wasn’t hooked over his hip. The back of her knee nestled into the crook of his elbow, and the new angle made the muscles in her abdomen tighten up in anticipation of that rush of pleasure.

“Oh, god, Steve, you’re… gonna…”

“Please, sweetheart, please, please…” he mumbled with lips brushing against hers.

She didn’t know what he was asking for. For her to come around him? For her to not hate him for doing this with her? Like she ever could. She was in love with him. Was he asking her not to read into this instead? She grabbed a handful of his hair and kissed him fiercely, as if she could claim him. Steve growled again and kissed her back as he sped up his thrusts.

Darcy was so close. She just needed a brush against the little bundle of nerves nestled in the folds at the top of her slit. Using her free hand, she reached down to touch herself. Before she could do so, one of Steve’s hands intercepted hers. She pulled the skin away from her clit, and he brushed his thumb up the side of it. With the friction of his cock against the walls of her pussy and the weight of his eyes looking into hers, she went spiraling out into a second orgasm. Darcy cried out in pleasure, and Steve’s grunted response lead to his even strokes faltering and eventually turning into shallow little thrusts as he came inside her.

Darcy wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms over his shoulders. He exhaled and pressed a soft kiss to her neck just below her ear. And then he pulled away and rolled onto his back next to her. The only place their skin was touching now was at their shoulders. She missed the weight of his body already.

The mood went from overwhelmingly intimate to overwhelmingly awkward in the space of a few seconds. Darcy laid there and stared at the ceiling as she listened to the sound of their breaths slowing. Her heart felt battered and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe because it felt like the other shoe was going to drop when he opened his mouth and told her he should leave, when he slipped away and left her alone to figure out how things were going to work now that she’d been so close to him. She’d never been that girl to wonder where things were going, but damn if she wasn’t feeling that way now. That emotion she’d seen in his eyes when he was inside her had seemed so real and so clear then, but now it was easy to second guess her shitty judgment.

Steve pulled in a deep breath, and she closed her eyes as she waited for him to excuse himself. Instead, he said her name, his voice breaking on it.

Swallowing and trying to ignore the sting of tears, she said, “Steve.”

He sighed and in a soft voice said, “I don’t scare that easy, doll, but I gotta admit that I’m scared right now.”

Darcy choked on a bitter laugh as she wiped at her wet eyes. “What? Sex with me can’t be that scary.”

He didn’t laugh at her pathetic joke, nor did he respond right away. Finally, he said, “You make me want to be so... fuckin'... selfish.”

Trying to ignore the tightness in her chest, Darcy turned over onto her side and gathered the sheet over her chest and stomach. It wasn’t much cover, but it was better than nothing. She propped her head up on her hand, elbow digging into the mattress beneath. “What did you say?” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

He sounded miserable when he replied. “You make me want to leave it all. Be with you. But I can’t.” When he paused, she couldn’t seem to come up with a response. She’d been prepared for so many things, but not what he’d admitted. After a long moment, he continued with, “I know if I can’t stop then I might never have you or I won’t be able to keep you even if I did. I ain’t fit for making you happy. I’m worried I’ll just hurt you. I’m worried you’ll leave me.”

Everything clicked into place in that moment. She might lose him earlier than she wanted or might have to learn how to live her life while she was sick with worry over him. She knew it wouldn’t be easy; Jane had already shown her exactly how gut-wrenchingly painful it was. But Jane had also admitted that, in hindsight, if feelings were strong enough then living with the stress of his life hanging in the balance was preferable to living alone. And it would be living alone since no man was ever going to compare to the one lying next to her. He might already have strength beyond imagining, but she was no slouch and she could support him, give him strength on the back end. Make him less reckless. Besides, wasn’t part of the reason she loved him because of who he was? Wasn’t who he was the reason why he ran into danger to save others?

“Hey, Steve,” Darcy said, imploring him to look at her. He finally did glance over, his eyes shielded as if he were expecting rejection after laying himself bare. “You’ve already got me,” she said.

“I ain’t gonna be able to keep you, doll.” Now he looked downright miserable.

“I don’t know about that, Steve. I’m pretty fucking attached to you.” When he didn’t reply she said, “Don’t choose for me.”

“Darcy,” he said, turning to her with unshed tears welling up on his lower lids.

“Don’t choose for me, Steve. I swear to Thor, I’ll kick your super soldier ass.”

He reached out for her and pulled her into his arms. “I ain’t good for you,” he whispered into her hair.

“But you are,” she said, kissing his chest. “Whenever I’m with you, I’m happy. You treat me better than any man ever has and we’ve just been faking it so far.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I was never faking anything with you,” he murmured, tightening his arms around her.

Darcy laughed and nipped at his nipple with her teeth. Her eyes were wet with tears when she said, “Why’d you let me think it was all make-believe.”

“Thought that was all you wanted. Got scared every time I opened my mouth to say so. Plus, I can’t make you happy. Not with what I do.”

“Just promise me you won’t be reckless, and I’ll promise you that I’ll find a way to be okay.”

“Darcy…”

“Shut your fucking martyr mouth, Steve. Promise me.”

He kissed the crown of her head. “I promise.”

“I promise,” she repeated as she pulled back to look up into his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad to see this fic go because I had such fun writing Steve and Darcy. I think it's safe to say that this won't be my only Shieldshock fic, but for now only two more chapters left. You all really are wonderful with all the encouragement and love. Thank you!


	17. Chapter 17

> _“If I go a million miles away, I’d write a letter each and every day. ‘Cause, honey, nothing can change this love I have for you.” - Sam Cooke (Nothing Can Change This Love)_

Darcy woke first. Steve was flat on his back with his mouth open. She would have said she’d never seen him more vulnerable if she hadn’t seen his face last night when they’d made love. Smiling, she brushed her fingertips over his eyelids and nose. When he didn’t rouse, she traced his lips with her index finger and ran the tip of it over his bearded chin.

His erection was thick and hard and lying against his abdomen. It was perfect, just like every other part of him. Darcy shifted in bed. The light from the window was weak, so she knew it was still very early in the morning. “Steve,” she whispered in his ear. When he didn’t move, she smiled and pushed herself up to her knees. They were both still naked, but she felt no embarrassment with him even if he was physical perfection.

“Steeeeeve,” she whispered again, drawing out his name as she threw one leg over his waist to straddle him. Her hands braced on his firm chest served to steady her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. When she looked up at his face again, his eyes were open and a grin was playing at the corners of his mouth.

“Just saying good morning.”

He brought his hands up to her hips. “Yeah? Ain’t nobody ever told me good morning quite like this.”

“Sounds like you’ve been wasting your time with people who don’t know the joys of morning sex,” she said, reaching behind her to grab his cock.

Steve watched her with parted lips as she lifted herself up and scooted back. Try as she might, she couldn’t seem to get herself at the right angle to take him. “You want a little help?” he asked with a smile.

“Thought you’d never ask,” she said. A moment later, she was gasping as he raised his upper body slightly off the bed and lifted her up in the air with just his hands on her waist. Darcy squealed and flailed for just a moment before she managed to grab onto him again and line the head of his cock up with her entrance. Steve sank his teeth into his lower lip as he settled her down to straddle his narrow hips. Once she was in place, he laid himself back on the bed

The muscles in his jaw and down the strong line of his neck were tight. “Sweetheart, you look like a fuckin’ dream,” he murmured cupping her breasts in his big hands while she leaned forward to brace herself on his chest.

“Steven Grant Rogers, what a filthy mouth,” Darcy teased.

He bucked up into her. “I hope you ain't surprised by that after what I did with my mouth last night and what I'm gonna do later today.”

She rolled her hips and said, “Promises, promises…”

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t even know what I want to do with you.”

Darcy’s head fell forward and the ends of her long hair brushed against his chest. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

He rolled one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger as she clenched the muscles in her abdomen and thighs, moving on top of him. Steve bent one of his legs until his thigh was pressed against her ass. Darcy pushed herself up and leaned into his leg. She flipped her hair back with one hand while Steve clasped the other in his, interlocking their fingers. The position gave her the security to move with more freedom, and she began to bounce a bit.

When she looked down at him, his lips were parted and his eyes were glazed over with lust. His regard made her feel drunk on pleasure and power. “Steve,” she moaned, putting her hand over his on her breast, pushing it down. He gave her a breathy laugh as he let her guide his fingers to the slightly protruding bundle of nerves nestled at the top of her slit. He slipped the tip of his thumb inside her and then swept the wetness he’d collected over her clit.

“Fuck, Steve, please,” she whispered, feeling like she was on fire, yet still not close enough to the orgasm she’d been chasing.

He brought his other leg up behind her and planted his feet on the mattress so he had the leverage needed to thrust up into her. Darcy’s breath caught at his strength and the control he had over his body. “You gonna come for me, Darcy?” he asked in gasping breaths.

“Yes,” she gasped.

“Let me feel ya, sweetheart.”

The firm slide of his thumb up and over her clit and the delicious pressure of his thick cock buried as deep as he would go were both flushing her skin and scrambling her thoughts. “Steve…”

“I’m here, sweetheart. Come for me. Please. I’m so close. You feel so good.” Each phrase was exhaled with a heavy breath. His plea sent her over the edge, and Darcy cried out in pleasure, one hand braced on his chest and the other gripping the wrist of the hand bringing her off.

“Oh my god, Steve,” Darcy said when her arm holding up her weight gave out. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest as he pumped into her with erratic thrusts and, eventually, a strangled grunt of release.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane looked up from her monitor when Darcy walked into the lab a few minutes after eleven that morning. She looked like she hadn’t slept much, but that didn’t stop her assessing look as she narrowed her eyes.

“What?” Darcy asked, looking down at herself.

“How’d the date go?” Jane asked.

Darcy pressed her lips together as she tried to suppress a smile.

“Darcy,” Jane said, a warning in her voice as she stood up and moved to stand in front of Darcy’s desk.

“It was good,” Darcy replied, keeping her eyes on the surface of the desk.

“Oh my god, you got laid,” Jane said, sounding both scandalized and amused.

Darcy finally let the smile spread across her face as she looked up at her friend. “I did, and not with Gonzo, either.”

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“I’m walking on fucking air and also terrified,” Darcy admitted. Her grin faltered as she considered the weight of the situation and who she was getting involved with.

Jane sat down on the corner of the desk and sighed. “I know the feeling.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” Darcy asked.

“No, Dar. I think you’re in love. Is he?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t… I mean, we talked, but not, like, in detail. I think he has a hard time talking about us and how that will work in his life. I think he just started thinking it might work, so I don’t wanna push him and shit.”

“You should set boundaries and expectations soon.”

Darcy frowned. “Expectations?”

“You need him to check in with you during missions or you don’t want him to do certain things or–”

“Janie, I don’t think it’s going to go over well if I tell him how to live his life. I mean, he just had the breakthrough that he was willing to give it a go with me.”

Jane stood up and crossed her arms. “Look, I don’t want to be the wet blanket, but if I could go back and change things, then I’d change that. I’m not saying you need to handcuff him, but you can’t give everything and he gives nothing.”

“Uh, he kinda gave a lot last night. And this morning,” Darcy said, wiggling her brows and trying to lighten the tone of the conversation.

“Darcy, I’m not talking about that. I’m saying you can’t wait here for him everytime he runs off to save the world without certain agreements. He can’t expect you to make it all better when he comes back if he isn’t willing to help keep you sane while he’s gone.”

Sighing, Darcy said, “Yeah, okay. I know you’re right. I just.... It’s all new and I don’t know what to do with myself and… and I think he might actually care about me, like, a lot. That’s fucking insane, Jane. I feel like this is a joke, but I can’t stop myself. I wanted to stay in bed all day with him.”

“Why didn’t you?” Jane asked.

“Well, I can’t abandon you and science. And he has a meeting with Fury and the team leaders. Damn responsibilities.”

Jane walked around behind the desk and leaned in to kiss the crown of Darcy’s head. “I’m happy for you, Dar.”

Darcy turned the swivel chair around to look at the woman who had become her best friend over these years together. “For real, do you think this is a bad idea? Am I going to get crushed?”

“It’ll be hard, but if anyone can make it work, you can,” Jane replied. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and Steve Rogers looks at you like you’re everything he’s ever wanted. Just… boundaries, Darcy.”

“Gotcha, boundaries. I’ll talk to him.”

Jane smiled. “Probably should wait until after sex. Thor was always more agreeable afterward.”

“I can’t wait for Thor to come back so you can tell him you were wrong. Because, lemme tell you, Janie—I am so sick of you always being right.”

“I’d love to tell him how wrong I was. I hope I get the chance one day,” Jane said softly.

 

* * *

 

 

Jane was taking a much-needed early evening nap when the door to the lab flew open. Darcy looked up from her computer screen and the fruitless search for the beacon with wide eyes. Steve was standing in the door.

“Hey, you,” she said, smiling at him. The pleased expression melted off her face when she saw that he was suited up.

“Sweetheart, I’ve gotta go out. I’m so sorry.” He actually did look so sorry with that miserable expression on his face.

Her stomach fell to her feet and her heart dropped into the place it had resided. “How long?” she asked.

He shook his head as he closed the door behind himself. “I don’t know. We don’t know what’s happening.”

She felt sick to her stomach. “Steve…” she said, standing up and holding onto her desk. She’d known this day would come, but she hadn’t expected it to come so soon. She’d promised Jane that she’d talk to him about promises and boundaries and now there wasn’t any time.

He took four quick strides over to her, but faltered when they were toe-to-toe. Darcy pushed up onto her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Steve’s arms immediately went around her waist as he lifted her up into one of the best hugs of her life.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered.

“I don’t want to go, but you know the deal, Darcy.”

She nodded against his shoulder. His beard scratched her cheek. “I know. I wanted to talk to you about that.”

He stiffened and sat her down on the floor. She fisted the front of his suit in her hands and pulled him down for a kiss. Steve melted into her, his hands on her waist. “Please tell me this ain’t goodbye, doll,” he whispered against her lips when they both pulled back for a breath of air.

“No, it’s a beginning. How long do you have? Can I talk if I talk fast?”

“Hurry,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Jane said things with Thor got fucked up because they didn’t manage expectations. So, let’s… let’s do the rules.”

“Rules?” He looked down at her, running a hand through her hair.

“If you’re going, I need to know where and as much as you can tell me about the situation,” she said quickly. She’d been thinking about what would make it easier on her all afternoon. It’d never be a walk in the park, but she didn’t like living in the dark. Darcy thought maybe that was what pushed Jane to lay that ultimatum on Thor.

He exhaled. “New York, the U.K. I’m not sure where exactly. There’s a strange ship that’s incoming and one that just left. We’re not sure who it is, if it’s friendlies or not.”

“Knowing our luck, it’s not.”

Steve gave a bitter laugh and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “Probably not, but we can hope. Don’t know how long I’ll be. Could be a day, could be longer.”

“How dangerous?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I just don’t know. I’m a big boy, I promise.”

She laughed and let her forehead fall against his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around her again.

“Hey, Darcy,” he whispered into the crown of her head. “I’ll be careful, not reckless. For you.”

“For us,” she corrected.

He kissed the top of her head. “For us.”

“Can you check in with me every twelve hours?”

“More often if I can. Whatever it takes, sweetheart. You know I can’t say no to this because I have to do something if there’s something to be done. But whatever else I can do… I’ll do it.”

“Yes, call me twice a day,” she said before adding, “If you can. I know sometimes you won’t be able to.”

“Twice a day, when I can.”

She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. “Careful, not reckless, Steve.”

“Always,” he said, his eyes wide.

Darcy grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down into a long kiss that involved tongues and promises of things to come. Things she wanted to have the opportunity to do. “Come back to me,” she whispered into his mouth, her voice breaking on the last word.

“Darcy—” he said before he cut himself off and swallowed.

She kissed him again, this time was just a chaste press of their lips together.

“I need to tell you something before I leave or I’ll never forgive myself if something happens.”

She balled a fist up and punched him lightly in the chest. “If something happens to you, then your ass won’t be caring.”

“Darcy, I’m serious,” he said, looking into her eyes. He looked terrified. Gently, he took her face in both his hands and kissed her again before pulling back and saying, “I love you.”

She blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek. He rubbed it away with the pad of his thumb. “I love you more,” she said before the sob that had been blocking her airway made its way out her mouth. “I love you more,” she repeated as more tears fell.

He smiled. “No, sweetheart. That ain’t true at all. You got no idea how much I love you. But it’s really cute you think you love me more.”

His quip made Darcy laugh. She grabbed onto his wrists and tilted her head back so he could kiss her again. “I’ll see you soon,” she said.

“See you soon,” he replied before letting her go and backing out of the lab.

Darcy wanted to go to the door and watch him walk away, but she knew it would just upset her more. Instead, she sat down on the edge of her desk and sobbed into her hands.

Jane found her after the worst of it had passed. Darcy looked up and sniffed when her friend entered the lab looking like she wasn’t having the best day ever either. “Dar?” Jane said, moving toward her. “Dar, what happened?”

“Steve left on a mission. I mean, it’s probably fine. Right? It’s gonna be fine. He’s gone out on how many missions since we’ve been here. He always comes back. It’ll be fine. I’m just being crazy. Maybe I’m hormonal. Maybe I just need a fucking drink or something. I mean, this is fine. Really. Fine. I’m–”

Jane reached out and wrapped Darcy up into a hug. It wasn’t nearly as good as Steve’s, but it would do in a pinch. “It’ll be fine, Darcy. He always comes back,” she said.

“Hey,” Darcy said, sniffing, “I took your advice and told him that I needed to know where he’s going and what he’s going to deal with.”

“And he told you?” Jane said, pulling away and holding Darcy’s shoulders in her hands.

Darcy nodded. “Yeah. And I said he needed to call me twice a day. Like, he needs to check in every twelve hours if he can.”

“He agreed?”

She nodded again.

Jane smiled. “That’s good. That’s really good, Darcy. Look, I know it hurts, but this won’t last forever.”

“This feeling?”

“Yeah,” Jane replied. “He’ll come back and it’ll be okay again. The check-ins will help.”

Darcy sniffed and wiped at her face. “Can we get to work or something? I need to get my mind off this shit.”

 

* * *

 

 

An hour after Steve had left, a man from the tech department had walked into the lab with a strange looking thing that appeared to be a cross between a cell phone and a radio. “Captain Rogers asked me to give this to you. It’s a secure line to his com unit. You shouldn’t use it to initiate contact unless its an emergency. Your transmission could interrupt a mission in progress,” the man had said before giving her a brief lesson on the use of the pseudo-phone.

Darcy had kept it by her side all evening and into the early hours of the morning. The news was running stories about circular ships hovering over the ground in New York. They were saying Tony was gone, that he’d boarded one of the ships in an attempt to stop whoever had decided to land. Darcy hadn’t even known him that well, but she was sick over the idea that the witty man who’d helped her and Jane without asking for a damn thing in return was in danger or dead.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew what happened in New York with Tony and what happened that took Steve to the U.K. were probably connected. It wasn’t even a question in her mind. She and Jane sat on her couch and watched the coverage for an hour before Jane went back down to the lab to search for the beacon again. Darcy couldn’t even think about the fucking beacon. She needed to know where Steve was. Was he on one of those ships?

At a quarter past three, the phone beeped twice. She looked down and saw three dots that indicated an incoming call. “Steve?” she asked, pressing the phone to her ear.

“Hey, sweetheart. It’s me. I’m sorry it took me so long to call.”

“God, it’s so good to hear your voice,” she said after a shaky exhale.

He sounded like he was smiling when he replied, “It’s so good to hear yours too, Darcy. You okay?”

“What’s happening?”

“A man—well, I don’t know if he’s exactly a man, but you get the picture—named Thanos sent his people down to collect two of those Infinity Stones Thor’s been on the hunt for.”

“Where are they?”

“Vision has one. He’s with us. Safe.”

“You’re safe?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Is Tony?”

He didn’t respond for a long moment. Finally, he said, “I don’t know. Best we can tell, he boarded the ship that came down in New York. It’s gone, and no one knows where.”

“What’s next?”

Steve sighed. “Vision is a problem. The stone in his head needs to be destroyed, but it’ll kill him if we do that. We’re taking him to Wakanda to see if they can help.”

“Wakanda is safe, right?” she asked, feeling a measure of relief.

“Right,” he agreed. “One of the safest places.”

She smiled. “Good. Please be careful, Steve. Please.”

“I will, sweetheart. Have you slept?”

Darcy laughed. “You know I haven’t.”

“Then do me a favor and go to bed. I’m okay for now. I’ll talk to you in a few hours.” She heard someone talking in the background, voices muffled like he’d shut a door. “Think of me when you go to bed. I’ll be there to join you when this is all over.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” After a brief pause, he said, “Hey, I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Steve chuckled and said, “Nah, you don’t.”

 

* * *

 

 

The twenty-four-hour news channels were serving up nothing but fear and speculation. The ships that had paid the planet a visit were all gone, but there was general unease, especially because no one had heard from Tony Stark. Tony’s phone was sitting on Jane’s desk, and it only served to make Darcy feel sick to her stomach. She felt like she’d known him, if only just a little bit. His excitement over invention and innovation reminded her so much of Jane.

“How long would it take the beacon’s signal to get back here?” Darcy asked Jane. Her eyes were on the phone that connected her to Steve. She wasn’t expecting another call until later that afternoon, but she still wished it would ring.

“Depends on the distance,” Jane replied. Minutes if it’s still in our galaxy. Hours, maybe days if it’s further.”

“How far could it be? Could it be so far that it hasn’t even gotten back here yet?”

Jane sighed and rubbed her eyes. She looked weary and demoralized. “Unlikely. I don’t think I could send it that far. Either we’re looking in the wrong place or…”

“Or the slingshot didn’t work,” Darcy finished.

“Right.”

“We’re probably just looking in the wrong place, Janie.”

Darcy’s friend smiled at her, but it was thin and strained. “You’re probably right.” Jane stretched her arms in the air. “Hey, I’m gonna go get something to eat. You hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Darcy, you haven’t eaten anything since Steve left. If you’re going to do this with him, then you need to find ways to cope, ways to continue your life when he’s out there.”

“I know,” she replied. “I know. It’s just… It sucks.”

Jane got up and pushed her chair in. “You don’t have to tell me that, Dar. He’ll be back sooner rather than later. You want some mac and cheese?”

Darcy smiled at Jane. “Aww, Janie. Are you getting me comfort food this early? It’s not even lunchtime yet.”

“It’ll make you feel better.”

“True,” she conceded. “Okay. Mac and cheese. Can you bring hot sauce, too?”

Jane pulled a face that said she wasn’t a fan of Darcy’s tendency to add hot sauce to her mac and cheese. “Fine,” she relented, “but only because you’re sad.”

“Thanks, Jane. You’re the best friend a girl could have.”

With Jane gone, the lab was quiet. Darcy had spent all morning staring at the readouts on her screen, watching in real-time as the telescopes listened to the vastness of space around them. They’d seen the disruption from the ships the day before, but nothing since. The knowledge that she’d see anything approaching gave her some sense of security with Steve. If another craft were to show up, she’d probably see the erratic signals on the screen. So, she sat there and watched more for that than for the beacon.

She glanced away to Steve’s phone and when she looked back at the screen she could see a strange anomaly. Darcy held her breath as she took a closer look. Sure enough, there it was again. “What’s that?” she asked herself, getting up to grab a sheet of paper off Jane’s desk. The paper showed the signature of the beacon. Holding it up to her screen, she saw the similarity. The radio waves moved again, and they looked identical to the paper in her hand.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Darcy muttered, leaning over her monitor and watching for the beacon to sound again. Right after the blip appeared, the door to the lab opened.

“This is off-brand stuff,” Jane said, holding up the bottle of hot sauce.

“Jane, we found it. We found the beacon,” Darcy blurted out, waving the paper in the air and pointing at her monitor.

Jane dropped the tray in her right hand and the bottle of hot sauce in her left. The bottle shattered and so did the white ceramic bowls that held their food. “Where?” Jane demanded, stepping over the food.

Darcy didn’t blame her. They’d been working on this project for so long, and to have some confirmation of success, small though it may be, was exhilarating. “I have no clue, but it’s here,” Darcy pointed at the screen. “See?”

Jane watched the screen, and neither of them breathed for a moment. The beacon blipped up on the screen, and the normally composed astrophysicist squealed in delight. “Mark that!” she said, running over to her desk to pin the location.

“Janie, you did it.”

“ _We_ did it,” Jane replied, looking up from her computer. “Where’s the phone? I need to call Tony.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Jane froze. Darcy felt nausea that had been prevalent since Steve left and the world started falling apart.

“Fuck,” Jane muttered, remembering all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. “He’s still missing, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

Jane sat down heavily in her chair.

“Why do all these assholes keep on leaving us?”

“I don’t know,” Jane said, “but I’m getting pretty tired of it.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some spoilers in this chapter for Infinity War. The spoilers relate to: Tony's storyline, Thor's storyline, and Thanos' quest for the Infinity Stones. They aren't make-or-break spoilers, but they are definitely spoilers that will allow you to deduce some of the outcomes in Infinity War before they actually happen. That being said, my ending is very different from the movie. This is, after all, a canon divergent AU story. Plus, I don't fucks with Thanos.

 

> _”I want a Sunday kind of love. A love to last past Saturday night. And I’d like to know it’s more than love at first sight.” - Etta James (Sunday Kind of Love)_

Darcy and Jane had sat in the lab, side by side, and watched the blips of the beacon as if they were a heartbeat for several minutes before Darcy had broken away and turned on the television. Still no Tony Stark. Still no news. At seventeen minutes after one, the activity on her monitor had caught Darcy’s eyes. She’d called for Jane, who also couldn’t make sense of it. Twenty-two minutes later, they had found out what it was when the anchor on the news broke into an interview with an expert on something or other and told the audience that a large spacecraft was in orbit, and several smaller ships had landed outside Wakanda. The shaky cell phone footage hadn’t made those ships look small at all. In fact, they were like massive thorns driven into the Earth.

“Oh, god,” Darcy whispered, watching with wide eyes.

As soon as she picked up Steve’s phone, it rang.

“Steve,” she said when she answered.

“Hey, doll. Listen, I don’t have a lot of time to talk. We have incoming and they aren’t friendly. Didn’t want to miss our call, though.” She could hear the wind blowing around him.

“Are things gonna to be okay, Steve?”

“Just fine, sweetheart. I’ll be home soon. You and me, we got a date.”

She laughed, but that didn’t stop the gnawing feeling of dread in her stomach. “Do we? Did Leena agree to stay late again?”

“A date in my bed,” he clarified.

“Steve, please be careful.”

“Careful, not–”

“Reckless,” she finished for him.

“Gotcha, doll. Hey, I love you.”

“Love you mo–”

“Nope,” he said, cutting her off. “I’ll call you soon.”

The connection was cut off, and Darcy was left holding the phone in her hand and feeling sick to her stomach. “Fuck.” She spit out the word and hit the desk hard with the palm of her hand.

“What?” Jane asked.

“I forgot to tell him about the slingshot.”

Jane got up and walked over to Darcy’s desk. “What’s happening?”

“They’re in Wakanda and shit is about to go down.” Darcy bent over, holding her stomach. “God, I’m so sick over this. How in the hell did you date Thor for so long?”

Jane laughed, but it was more bitter than anything else. “Highs and lows, Darcy. This is a low. But you should remember that he’s more than competent. Think of everything he’s been through and how much he’s done. None of that killed him. Do you think some alien assholes will?”

“Ahh, perspective from the world’s leading astrophysicist,” Darcy said, poking Jane’s leg.

“I don’t know about that, Dar.”

“Jane, of course you’re the leading astrophysicist. Who else could build a fucking wormhole in a box? No one, that’s who.”

 

* * *

 

 

The reports out of Wakanda were few and far between. The country was cut off and secluded and didn’t exactly welcome visitors. The shaky cell phone footage of the crafts that had landed outside the borders was the extent of the visuals. As the minutes ticked by, nothing was reported beyond an all-out battle being waged. And Steve was probably in the middle of it.

“I fucking hate waiting,” Darcy muttered to her friend. Jane was watching the satellite data for additional incoming crafts but hadn’t seen anything since the initial landing.

Minutes felt like hours, and all she could think of was Steve being overrun and outnumbered and in pain.

“He’s fine,” Jane said. “He’s fine.”

“You’re a good friend, Janie.”

“Technically, I’m your boss.”

Darcy laughed. “Yeah, right. That’s what I let you believe.”

“What the hell?” Jane said, standing up.

“What?” Darcy asked, her eyes going wide. “Hey, Jane, I really didn’t mean it. Don’t tell me that pissed you off.”

Jane was staring at her computer screen. “No. No. Look, Darcy.”

She pushed herself out of her chair and walked over to Jane’s computer. “It’s not more ships, is it?” she asked, dread pooling in her stomach.

Jane exhaled a sharp breath and pulled in a shaky one. “I think it might be Thor.”

“ _What_? How do you…”

“I memorized the data from that night—the night he fell into the desert in New Mexico. It’s the same signature. It’s… it has to be someone from Asgard.”

“Maybe coming to help?” Darcy asked.

“Maybe.”

They sat in front of the television and watched the anchor talk about an electrical storm happening in the area of Wakanda. There was no footage to confirm, but Darcy was pretty sure Jane was right. “We should go,” Darcy said. “If that’s Thor, then you should be there.”

“Dar, we can’t drive into the middle of a battle. That’s insane.”

“I was thinking we could fly.”

Jane shook her head. “We’re not any use. We can’t fight.”

Darcy gave her friend a dirty look. “Hey, speak for yourself. I do recall knocking your boyfriend out with my Taser.”

“Well, we can’t fight like them. We’d just be in the way.”

The news anchor interrupted a reporter who was speculating about the defense barriers in Wakanda to tell everyone that they had just confirmed footage from inside the city. As they aired the video, Darcy could tell it was taken from a cell phone and from inside. The window had a view of the battlefield below, and it was massive. You could hear the ragged breathing of the person who was recording, and then you could hear the sound of glass shattering and a woman screaming. The noise of the battle, still a safe distance away could be heard until the person filming seemed to trip and turn away from the scene. That’s where the video cut.

“Fuck,” Darcy muttered, her stomach clenched up tight in fear and worry.

“Fuck,” Jane repeated, holding her abdomen and bending over at the waist. “This is bad. Why can’t we help?”

Darcy turned away from Jane and walked to the far wall of the lab, ready to pace the floor until Steve called. The phone was clenched in her hand. Steve wouldn’t be calling anytime soon, though. Was knowing better than not knowing? Was it better to keep herself in the dark than know exactly what he was up against?

Her eyes landed on the innocuous box with what looked like a small retractable radio antenna jutting from the corner. Never taking her eyes off it, Darcy said, “Jane. Jane. Hey, Jane.”

“Darcy, it’s going to be okay. It has to be,” Jane said, coming over and putting her arm around Darcy.

“No, Jane. The slingshot. We could use it, couldn’t we? _They_ could use it.”

Jane’s gaze followed Darcy’s. “I don’t think sending a couple of those things into space is going to help much. Like I said, I think we’d just be in the way.”

“But, like, what if one of the commanders… They have to have commanders, right? What if we cut off the head of the army?”

“You think we could get that close?” Jane asked.

Darcy shrugged. “Probably not, but we could give it to Steve. Or to Thor if he’s here. Jane, don’t you want to see him? Don’t you want to know?”

Jane’s eyes were wet when Darcy looked over at her friend. “Yes, I want to know. I’m just…”

“Then let’s go.”

“ _How_?” Jane asked throwing out her arms and turning in a circle. “Even if there are transports here, everyone is there. We can’t fly those things.”

Darcy gave Jane a smile that was more a grimace. “Get the remote and the box. I’ve got an idea.”

 

* * *

 

 

Nat’s injured pilot said his name was Tyler. After sitting on the sidelines to recover from a compound fracture in his left leg, Tyler did not appreciate being taken from his room at gunpoint by the two women from the Estrogen lab. In fact, Tyler had refused to come until Darcy pulled the slide back on the nine-millimeter pistol she’d stolen from the armory. The gun was easier to come by than the wheelchair from medical to transport him to the jet, which was probably some sort of fucked up commentary on pseudo-military types and the American attitude they brought along with them.

Darcy didn’t have the time to think about it much because they were on their way to Wakanda with a very unhappy pilot who claimed not to know the way even though Darcy had already taken the liberty of looking into his flight history using her fancy security credentials. He’d flown there twice, so he could damn well fly there a third time. As they approached, Darcy dialed Steve with shaking hands.

The phone was silent for several seconds, no ringtone or sound to indicate it was working properly. Finally, she heard his voice say, “Doll, not now.” He was breathing heavy. She heard a grunt and a crash, then screams.

“I’m on the way with the slingshot. I think I can help.”

“No. No!” he screamed. “Do _not_ , Darcy! Stay where you are!” More crashing and a thud as the air left his lungs.

“Where are you? I need to get it to you. We’ll drop it from the bay door of the jet.”

“No!” he yelled again. “Stay where you are!”

The line disconnected. “I think he’s mad at me,” Darcy told Jane. “Do you think he’ll break up with me?”

“I’d fuckin’ say so,” Tyler muttered from the pilot’s seat.

“Hey, nobody asked you,” Darcy snapped.

Jane looked worried, almost terrified. “How are we going to find them? You saw what it looked like in that video.”

The phone in Darcy’s hand was ringing. She pressed it to her ear and said, “Steve?”

“Nope. Sam. What the fuck are you doing, Darcy?”

“Jane and I have a device that might help. It might, like, take out the head guys.”

“Darcy, our problem right now–” He stopped talking for a moment and all she could hear was chaos and wind. “You need to turn around and go home.”

“I want to help. Jane and I think we can help. I’m already here. We’re flying through the barrier right now.”

Sam laughed. “There is no barrier. Thor broke it when he crash-landed our little party.”

“Fuck, yes!” Darcy yelled the phone. “Jane, it _was_ Thor.”

“Ahh, shit,” Sam muttered. “Tell the pilot to go to the treeline on the south side of the city. We can rendezvous there and I’ll get the fuckin’ thing from you. If you get hurt, Steve is going to kill me. Does it comes with instructions?”

“Push to start,” she said before hanging up and relaying Sam’s directions to the pilot.

Up close the battle was even worse than from afar. It was just a field of clashing bodies and blood. “Oh, god,” Darcy muttered.

Jane’s face was pressed against one of the windows. “I think I can see him,” she said. “I saw a flash of lightning.”

Darcy joined her and looked out to see a weapon—possibly Thor’s hammer—fly through the air and slam into several bodies before returning to its owner. The action was too far away to make out anyone.

“We’re here, but Wilson went down over there,” Tyler the scaredy-cat pilot said, pointing through the glass windshield toward a small area of trees to the left.

“What happened?” Darcy asked as she came toward the controls and leaned over his chair to look.

“Something is going on there. They’re all headed that direction.”

“I don’t know if we can wait for him,” Darcy said, glancing over at Jane. “What if he’s hurt and can’t get to us?”

Jane looked like a woman on a mission. Maybe it was the glimpse of Thor’s hammer and realizing that she’d have been reunited with the man that she loves if it weren’t for all the fighting bullshit, but Jane hit the button to open the cargo bay doors. “Lower to the ground, Tyler,” she told the pilot.

“I’m not landing,” he said. “No fucking way.”

Darcy pulled the gun out of her waistband and held it to his head. “You don’t have to land, but you’re gonna get us close enough that we can jump.

“Fuck,” he said, spitting out the word, but following her orders.

Jane was already in the back, dropping a rope off into the air below. Darcy walked back and looked out the door. They were about ten feet from the ground. “Lower!” she yelled up to the pilot. He brought it down until the distance was only five or six feet. Jane was already sliding down the rope with the backpack holding the slingshot strapped to her front.

Darcy tucked the gun in her waistband again and followed. Tyler must have pulled up a bit as she let go because she landed hard on the grassy surface. All the breath whooshed out of her lungs and she rolled on the ground, trying to pull in air for what felt like minutes.

Jane’s hand on her arm, pulling her up to her feet seemed to break the spell, and Darcy sucked in a deep breath. “I am not cut out for this,” Darcy said.

“Me neither. Where do we go?” Jane asked.

Darcy glanced around. “That way, I think,” she told her friend, pointing toward where the pilot said something was going on.

They stayed low and used the trees for as much cover as they would allow. The wooded area hadn’t been overrun by the alien army just yet.

“Oh, fuck,” Darcy whispered, realizing their luck had run out. Right where the trees ended, a massive creature with six arms had caught sight of them and turned to attack.

Darcy pulled out the gun and pushed Jane behind her. She fired one bullet after another, but the creature just kept coming. When it was only yards away and she had already braced for impact and death, a figure slammed into the creature from the side and shoved a spear right up underneath its chin.

“Nat?” Darcy asked, catching sight of the woman’s blonde hair.

“I thought Steve told you to stay out of here?” Nat said, twisting the spear before pulling it out of the creature’s head, using her foot as leverage.

Darcy patted the backpack hanging from Jane’s chest. “We thought we could help.”

Two more creatures had caught sight of the action and were on their way. Nat saw them first and nodded to the right. “Go. I’ll hold them off.”

Darcy and Jane hesitated for just a moment before turning to run. “Don’t die or Steve and Thor will kill me!” the assassin screamed over her shoulder before engaging the six-armed monstrosities.

They found Thor first. He was lying against a broken tree trunk with a scary-looking ax a few feet away. Jane opened her mouth, but nothing came out but air. Darcy watched as Thor pushed himself up and charged someone just beyond the cluster of trees. She grabbed Jane’s arm and pulled her to the side so they could come at the situation from a different angle instead of head-on. Whatever Thor was fighting wasn’t one of those six-armed things. He’d have cut them in half with that ax.

The sounds of combat were coming from a few yards ahead. Darcy could see a massive being that looked like some oversized purple professional wrestler with legs like tree trunks standing in the clearing. Sam was lying on the far side of the clearing with one of his wings ripped off. Thor had lost his weapon again and stumbled back as the purple man slammed a fist into his face.

“No!” Jane screamed, but her voice was just one of so many and was lost in the mayhem.

Darcy struggled with the backpack on Jane’s chest, unzipping it and pulling the remote out. With trembling hands, she loaded it with the batteries and pressed it into Jane’s hand. “Jane,” she said. “Jane!” Thor hit a tree about five yards away from them. Darcy grabbed her friend's chin. “Jane, you push the button when I say so. Got it?”

“Got it,” Jane said, nodding with wide eyes.  She looked terrified and shell-shocked, but Darcy really couldn't blame Jane because her heart was going a million miles a minute, too.

Darcy moved to the side, trying not to get tripped up by the branches and mounds of earth that had been disturbed during the fight. She felt her stomach drop to her feet when she saw Steve charging the man in the clearing, catching that massive purple hand adorned with a gold gauntlet before it could smash into his face. Screaming, Steve held the hand back with what had to have been a great effort.

Darcy swallowed the fear creeping up her throat and moved forward quickly. She tossed the box toward the two of them and yelled at Steve. “Steve! Slingshot!”

His eyes jumped from the thing he was fighting to Darcy, shock written all over his face.

“Slingshot!” she screamed again, pointing at the box.

As if her words had suddenly fallen into place, he let go of the hand he’d been holding off and stumbled back. The purple man turned toward her and Darcy was surprised to find no rage or anger there. Instead, he seemed intent on his purpose, which actually made him seem all that more frightening.

“Jane, now! Now!” she screamed.

The tall purple man—was he even a man?—reached out the hand with the golden gauntlet as he took a step toward her. Darcy opened her mouth to scream for Jane again, but never got the chance. The purple creature was swallowed up by a blinding flash of light that dissipated into a rainbow of colors.

Less than ten feet away, something hit the ground with a sickening thud. Darcy looked across the hole in the earth and found Steve. He looked shell-shocked and confused.

“Darcy,” he said, voice breaking on her name.

“Sorry I didn’t listen to you. Please don’t dump me,” she replied, stepping forward toward the hole in the ground that separated them.

She felt a hand on her back and turned to see Nat standing beside her. “What did you do?” Nat asked.

“Uh, we sent him to space. I don’t know the particulars. You should ask Jane.” Darcy turned to find that Jane was currently preoccupied with Thor. He had his arms around her and the normally stoic astrophysicist had her face pressed against his chest as she sobbed.

Steve walked around the hole and looked down at something lying on the edge of it nearest to Darcy. “Sweetheart, you did more than that,” he said.

“Uh, I cut off part of his hand?” she asked, wrinkling her nose up at the bloody flesh that had been cut off as if by a precision laser.

“You cut off three infinity stones,” he replied.

Darcy squatted down to look at the gems embedded into the gold gauntlet. The blue, purple, and green stones were glowing with an unnatural energy. “What do they do?” she asked, reaching out a hand.

Before she could even get close to touching one, she felt an arm wrap around her waist and lift her off the ground and back into a very familiar body. Darcy grabbed onto Steve’s forearm as he said, “Don’t touch them, sweetheart.”

“Are we still in danger?” she asked, eyeing the stones warily. They were in the metal and sat above the creature’s thumb, index finger, and middle finger that were also lying there on the ground. “What’s going to happen?”

Steve pressed a kiss to her ear before he said, “We’re going to finish taking care of this and go home.”

“We are?”

He chuckled. “Me and them will take care of it. You’ve done more than your share for the day, so you’re going to wait.”

 

* * *

 

 

They didn’t actually go home that day. In fact, she didn’t actually see Steven Grant Rogers until well into the early hours of the morning. Darcy and Jane were told to wait in a very nice and very futuristic lounge in a gorgeous building in the heart of the city.

Thor showed up first, and Darcy wasn’t ashamed to admit that she teared up when he ran to Jane and kissed her on the mouth before running his hands through her hair, saying that he’d been wrong and all that nonsense. It was a pathetically romantic picture since Jane was also confessing all of her wrongs. Darcy walked out into the hallway to give them privacy. She didn’t exactly want a front row seat to the two of them having makeup sex.

An hour went by and she sat down on a bench to lean her head against the wall. This area of the palace was for visitors, and she hadn’t seen anyone but Thor since they’d been left there. Darcy yawned and closed her eyes. All the adrenaline had long since worn off, and now she was crashing hard.

Just as she started drifting off to sleep, she heard a familiar voice say, “I’d introduce you if she wasn’t sleeping.”

Darcy opened her eyes and blinked as Steve came into focus. “I’m not sleeping,” she told him. “I was resting my eyes.”

Steve smiled at her and the warmth of it could be felt all the way down to the tips of her toes. “I wanted to introduce you to Bucky,” he said, tilting his head to the side toward a man with a similar build, maybe just a bit shorter and less wide in the shoulders. His hair was long and chestnut brown and prettier than hers. He was actually pretty all around but looked very different than the history books had led her to believe.

Darcy stood and extended her hand. Bucky’s eyes were friendly, but something there told her he wasn’t nearly as open or easy as Steve. If the stories were true at all, then he’d been through more than she could imagine. “Hi, Bucky. Nice to meet you. Darcy.”

He clasped her hand in his and smiled. “I’ve heard nothing but good things, Darcy,” he said.

“Then you’ve been lied to,” she shot back with a grin.

“Nah,” he said, pulling back his hand. “I think this guy here is probably right about it all. Heard you saved our asses.”

“Dumb luck,” she said, waving the compliment away.

“Well, Darcy, it was nice to meet you.” Turning to Steve, Bucky said, “We’ll talk later. You probably want some time alone with your girl.”

Steve smiled and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Think about what I said. We could use you, but only if that’s what you want.”

With a nod, Bucky turned on his heel and walked back down the hall to the exit.

Steve reached over and grabbed Darcy’s hand, pulling her into his arms and brushing his lips over hers. She tilted her chin up and kissed him full on the lips, and then she sighed when he kissed her back, parting her lips with his tongue and backing her up against the wall in the hallway.

One hand was in her hair and the other on her waist when he looked down at her and said, “Sweetheart, I don’t even know what to say,” with wet lips and soft eyes.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked sliding her hands over his shoulders.

Steve chuckled and kissed her again. “No, doll, I ain’t mad at you. You drive me crazy, though.”

“Saved your ass,” she whispered.

“Yeah, you did.” He slipped the hand on her waist down to cup her ass. “Why are you out here in the hall?”

“Uh, there might be X-rated activities going on in the lounge. Jane and Thor are in there and things were getting a little heated when I left over an hour ago.”

“Ahh,” Steve said, chuckling again. “They probably missed each other. Jane’s not mad at him?”

“Nope, I think she realized that some things are worth the trouble.”

Steve placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. “Are they?”

“Are they what? Banging?”

He gave a breathy laugh. “Are some things worth the trouble?”

“If I get you at the end of the day, then they are.”

Steve closed his eyes and exhaled. “You don’t know how good it is to hear that, even if I still don’t really believe it.”

“You better believe it. Don’t be calling me a liar, Steve Rogers.”

He bent his head down and kissed her neck. “No, ma’am, I ain’t calling you a liar.”

A voice calling for Steve down the hall made him pull away with no small amount of reluctance. He gave her an apologetic look before turning around. Darcy watched him stride down the hall with an effortless aura of authority and competence. The way his wide shoulders tapered into his waist and the best ass she’d ever had the privilege of seeing made her wonder at what he saw in her. He was perfection. Also, why hadn’t she made him strip and walk around her room naked when they’d been in bed together? That was a wasted opportunity for sure.

After conversing with whoever had called to him, he walked back to her looking like the sexiest thing on the planet. “You know,” Darcy said when he stopped in front of her, “you look so hot in that suit, I think I probably don’t need foreplay.”

His lips parted and his eyes darkened with lust. She watched as he reined himself in and swallowed hard. “I ain’t showered since I left your place. I don’t think you want to start this right now, Darcy.”

She smiled and raised her brows. “Is there a possibility of me starting something right now? I mean, I thought you’re the type that would make me wait until we get back to your place, but if you’re up for a little something on the way back, then we could make good on all those rumors about us having sex in the quinjet.”

Steve glanced over his shoulder before grabbing her arm and pulling her across the hall to a narrow door. Before she knew what was happening, they were in a small utility closet that was empty. Steve flipped on the overhead light and crowded her back up against the closed door. Darcy giggled with anticipation as he lowered his mouth to hers and paused. She could feel his hot breath on her lips. “I love you,” he whispered before taking her mouth with his.

She didn’t have a chance to respond because suddenly he was all over her, hands and mouth and tongue. Darcy clutched at the material of the combat suit, feeling the frayed threads where he’d ripped off the silver star over his chest.

She gasped as both his hands, still clad in those fingerless leather gloves, slipped down the back of her leggings and gripped her ass. “You gotta take the pants off before I rip ‘em off, doll,” he said, almost growling.

She kicked off her Converse shoes and shimmied out of her leggings and panties without so much as a thought about being pantless in a closet in Wakanda. Steve pushed her back up against the door and used his hands on her ass to lift her up. Darcy felt a wave of euphoria and anticipation roll over her as she wrapped her legs around him and realized he’d already freed his cock from the suit.

“Steve, please,” she begged as he reached down and guided himself into her. Darcy arched her back, pushing her shoulders back into the door and her hips into Steve.

With one hand firmly on her ass to hold her in place and the other fisted in her hair so he could run his tongue down her neck, Steve Rogers proceeded to wreck her like she’d never been before. She hadn’t lied; the vision of him in his mission gear and the way he’d kissed her hello in the hallway had gone a long way toward getting her wet. The way he’d taken charge and pulled her into the closet, though, that had gotten her motor running and her juices flowing.

“You don’t even know how many times I thought about you doing this to me,” she whispered in his ear as he ran his tongue over her clavicle.

“About as many times as I thought about it, I’d imagine,” he replied before changing the angle of his thrusts. He went just a little deeper, wringing a broken gasp of pleasure from her lips. “You feel so good, Darcy. So good.”

“Don’t stop,” she begged. “Please, don’t stop.”

He didn’t. In fact, he came at her a little harder with teeth nipping at her earlobe and scraping lines down the column of her neck. “Can you come for me, sweetheart? Can you?” he whispered.

The roughness of the suit smashing into her clit was conspiring to send her over the edge as he mercilessly pounded into her, filling her up more than she thought possible each and every time.

“Yes,” she hissed in his ear. “Steve, Steve, please… Oh my god, I’m… I’m…” He put his mouth over hers just at the moment she called out in pleasure as she climaxed. The noise was muffled by his mouth, and he kissed her through his faltering, uneven strokes that told her he’d come as well.

Darcy was still gasping for breath as Steve pressed gentle kisses over her closed eyes, her brows, her flushed cheeks. She could feel him still buried deep inside her and thought she could feel the evidence of their orgasms seeping out around where his cock entered her.

“Did we just do that?” she asked him.

Steve just laughed softly and pressed his forehead to hers. “Yes. And I ain’t got any complaints, but I can’t wait to get home and get a shower and spend about an hour between your legs.”

If she hadn’t already been flushed, then his comment would have done the trick. “You got a real high opinion of your staying power,” she teased.

“Oh, I was talking about you and my mouth, sweetheart. That’s what’s gonna take an hour.”

She let her head fall back against the door as he squeezed her ass. “Are you trying to make me come again?” Darcy asked. “Because you’re doing a really good job of it.”

There was some commotion out in the hall. A door opened and Darcy could hear Thor tell someone he hadn’t seen Steve Rogers.

“Fuuuuuck,” Darcy whispered. “Sounds like your job calls.”

Steve pressed a kiss to her lips before letting her slide down his body to her feet. Holding onto him, she managed to pull her panties, leggings, and shoes back on. The wetness between her thighs wasn’t as gross as she’d thought it would be when she considered how it’d come to pass.

“Hey,” he said, pulling her into his arms again, “we got word from Tony. He and another group are on a planet called Titan. They’re stranded, but were able to rig up one of the ships to send a signal.”

“He’s okay?”

“Seems to be. We just gotta figure out how to get him. There’s, uh, there’s a talking raccoon who says he can help.”

Darcy leaned away from Steve. “Excuse me?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah. There’s also a talking tree. It doesn’t say much, though. The raccoon never shuts its mouth.”

“Well, I guess it’s good that I’m open-minded. Is the talking raccoon friendly? I bet he’s really cute.”

Steve winced. “Well, I don’t know if friendly is the right word for it. Or cute.”

Someone walked by the door and turned the knob. Steve’s hand shot out behind her to hold it in place.

“Looks like duty calls, Steve. I’ll see you between my legs when you can wrap this shit up,” Darcy whispered in his ear.

He smiled down at her and gave her one last, lingering kiss before they left the closet and tried to clean up the mess that Thanos made, secure the three Infinity Stones, and find the other two that were no doubt still in the gauntlet on his stupid hand. Darcy was wiped out, though. She’d done her part and so had Steve. Someone else could go zipping around space to find the purple asshole.

 

**_THE END_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you lovely people who have reached out to me via comments or messages to tell me that you're reading and let me know you're enjoying the fic. Some of you have mentioned that you normally don't leave comments, but this story inspired you to do so. I can't tell you how good that makes me feel, and I hope you continue to sprinkle your love on not only my fics but all the fics you read and enjoy.
> 
> I also want to thank [Chocolate Gate](https://chocolategate.tumblr.com/) and [Bulmavegotaku](http://bulmavegotaku.tumblr.com/). They are wonderful betas who listened to my thoughts as I was writing this fic and made corrections/suggestions to make the story better. Thank you, gals!
> 
> If you're interested in my personal playlist of songs that were on rotation while writing this story, you can go [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2o_A-FR3X3CFqidvkOMDHX_g5IIeO9ES) and listen to the playlist on YouTube. If this doesn't work for those not in the US, please let me know. I'll give you the complete list.
> 
> If you'd like to keep track of me, then you can find me on Tumblr under my penname: [anogete](https://anogete.tumblr.com/). In case you haven't figured it out, I write the entire fic before any of it gets posted. As I work on new projects, I'll occasionally post my musical inspiration or other tidbits. I also post sneak peeks of the fic as I progress through the writing of the first draft. And I let you know when to expect the fic to be posted on AO3 when I get closer to the end.
> 
> As for my next project--I've been toying with the idea of a Bucky/Darcy fic that diverges from canon at the end of Captain America: Winter Soldier. I've been interested in writing Bucky vacillating back and forth between being the Winter Soldier and trying to regain his identity as Bucky Barnes. I thought it might be fun to throw Darcy into the mix right after Bucky pulls Steve from the river and the movie ends. I haven't begun it yet, but writing novel-length fics tends to take me 4-8 weeks, so if you're looking forward to something that's the general timeframe you should expect. In the meantime, I'd love for you to check out my other fics if you haven't already. I have several Bucky/Darcy stories and a Loki/OFC one that I swear is good if you give it a chance. I also have a handful of hockey RPFs that read like original romances if you don't know hockey.
> 
> If you have constructive criticism or would just like to send me a message privately and don't want to use Tumblr as the medium, then you can email me at: anogete527@yahoo.com. I love getting messages!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this little tale of mine. If you read and enjoyed, please consider dropping this author a line via comment/message/email and letting me know. Feedback is fuel for more writing. Until next time, dear readers! Love ya!


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